Current weather conditions are never a good time for me; I get hot, bothered and well... crabby. This was not helped today by my disgustingly gratuitous use of public transport. Due to some selfish cnut deciding that everyone should be just as fcuking miserable as he/she was by throwing themselves infront of a train I ended up on a very packed train for 1 Â½ hours rather than 30mins. All credit to South-West Trains â the train was reasonably new and was nicely air conditioned. However I had next to no room thanks to a group of incredibly fat fcuking bints taking up far more than their fair share (I was having to stand). There was also a fat, old, hairy but balding man standing there with his shirt undone all the way. Not quite the story from hell â yet. These fatties were still sweating bucketloads; their armpits, all down their back, down their chest â everywhere. They smelt like they were French; it was that bad. Thus fatties are already on my ânot very well likedâ list. Having fought my way onto the underground I then ended up on a central line train. Someone had set the central line to âmedium roastâ today, and then combination of fatty sweat, foreigner sweaty tang and the assault on the back of your throat by the smell of those with questionable hygiene (probably foreigners again) was really quite foul. Now coming to the end of a very short tether I find myself wedged into my seat by a 5 tonne heffer for a two hour journey. Anyone else here recognise fatty smell? Well she had it â in buckets. She took up her seat, half the aisle and half my seat. I was just trying to mind my own business reading and listening to music (at a low volume), but the legroom on trains isnât generally designed for my leg length â so I had to move around occasionally. I couldnât do this without touching her in some way, each time I moved there was a âtut *sigh*â from a fat b*tch. After 1 Â½ hours of this I was getting understandably angry, but I was boxed in and the train was full. Finally, very uncharacteristically I may add, I challenged her as to why she was making these noises: there followed a brief discussion on how I was naturally broad shoulders, and the width of her arrse could only be attributed to a BMI in triple figures. I then went on to explain that she should refund me half of my ticket for the journey as she was taking up half my seat â although I was safe in the knowledge that sheâd die young from being too fat and that was some compensation. The munta was, I think, too stunned to reply; so I carried on. I explained how it was unfair that through a weakness in her mind the rest of the population had to suffer: stuck behind her fat arrse on the escalator, jammed into a seat or trying desperately to breathe through our mouths as fatties tend to sweat more than those who have control of their eating habits. Thus fatties moved onto my "second against the wall" list and catching up on politicians fast. I will re-emphasise this was uncharacteristic of me; Iâm generally pretty polite and very very English in the way that I put up with cold food at restaurants where it takes ages to be served, standing in queues just because I can and generally keeping my head down. BUT, I donât feel bad. I told her exactly how/what/why etc and it made me feel better. Unfortunately I donât see Miss Chubbychops 2006 going away and deciding to lose weight; I probably encouraged her into more comfort eating. What can be done about fatties? The adult versions make me want to spit blood and fat children just depress me (and make me want to castrate the parents). Are you a fatist and proud? Come the revolution all with a BMI underâ¦ 25? 30? will be issued cattleprods for use on those fat fcuks. Definitions: Fatist â 1. A person who discriminates against another based on body fat percentage. 2. 95% of arrse Fatty â 1. A person who is overweight. 2. Bucket of lard. 3. John Prescott, 4. Fat fcuk. 5. John Prescott, 6. Someone who indulges in too many Ginsters Pies, 7. John Prescott 8. Can also be used for those with a more mild affliction, including: chubby, stout, podgy and American. Fatties â 1. Collective term for fat people.