Fatist and proud!!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by crabby, Jul 2, 2006.

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  1. Current weather conditions are never a good time for me; I get hot, bothered and well... crabby.

    This was not helped today by my disgustingly gratuitous use of public transport. Due to some selfish cnut deciding that everyone should be just as fcuking miserable as he/she was by throwing themselves infront of a train I ended up on a very packed train for 1 ½ hours rather than 30mins. All credit to South-West Trains – the train was reasonably new and was nicely air conditioned. However I had next to no room thanks to a group of incredibly fat fcuking bints taking up far more than their fair share (I was having to stand). There was also a fat, old, hairy but balding man standing there with his shirt undone all the way. Not quite the story from hell – yet. These fatties were still sweating bucketloads; their armpits, all down their back, down their chest – everywhere. They smelt like they were French; it was that bad. Thus fatties are already on my “not very well liked” list.

    Having fought my way onto the underground I then ended up on a central line train. Someone had set the central line to “medium roast” today, and then combination of fatty sweat, foreigner sweaty tang and the assault on the back of your throat by the smell of those with questionable hygiene (probably foreigners again) was really quite foul.

    Now coming to the end of a very short tether I find myself wedged into my seat by a 5 tonne heffer for a two hour journey. Anyone else here recognise fatty smell? Well she had it – in buckets. She took up her seat, half the aisle and half my seat. I was just trying to mind my own business reading and listening to music (at a low volume), but the legroom on trains isn’t generally designed for my leg length – so I had to move around occasionally. I couldn’t do this without touching her in some way, each time I moved there was a “tut *sigh*” from a fat b*tch. After 1 ½ hours of this I was getting understandably angry, but I was boxed in and the train was full. Finally, very uncharacteristically I may add, I challenged her as to why she was making these noises: there followed a brief discussion on how I was naturally broad shoulders, and the width of her arrse could only be attributed to a BMI in triple figures. I then went on to explain that she should refund me half of my ticket for the journey as she was taking up half my seat – although I was safe in the knowledge that she’d die young from being too fat and that was some compensation. The munta was, I think, too stunned to reply; so I carried on. I explained how it was unfair that through a weakness in her mind the rest of the population had to suffer: stuck behind her fat arrse on the escalator, jammed into a seat or trying desperately to breathe through our mouths as fatties tend to sweat more than those who have control of their eating habits. Thus fatties moved onto my "second against the wall" list and catching up on politicians fast.

    I will re-emphasise this was uncharacteristic of me; I’m generally pretty polite and very very English in the way that I put up with cold food at restaurants where it takes ages to be served, standing in queues just because I can and generally keeping my head down. BUT, I don’t feel bad. I told her exactly how/what/why etc and it made me feel better. Unfortunately I don’t see Miss Chubbychops 2006 going away and deciding to lose weight; I probably encouraged her into more comfort eating.

    What can be done about fatties? The adult versions make me want to spit blood and fat children just depress me (and make me want to castrate the parents). Are you a fatist and proud? Come the revolution all with a BMI under… 25? 30? will be issued cattleprods for use on those fat fcuks.


    Fatist – 1. A person who discriminates against another based on body fat percentage. 2. 95% of arrse

    Fatty – 1. A person who is overweight. 2. Bucket of lard. 3. John Prescott, 4. Fat fcuk. 5. John Prescott, 6. Someone who indulges in too many Ginsters Pies, 7. John Prescott 8. Can also be used for those with a more mild affliction, including: chubby, stout, podgy and American.

    Fatties – 1. Collective term for fat people.
  2. But how did the conversation end? You can't leave it like that. Did you make her cry Crabby?
  3. No, should I? After I'd finished my little rant there was a very uncomfortable 10minutes until my station where nothing was said and no eye contact was made. I did consider asking if I could roll her in flour and look for the damp patch - to make amends - but decided against it (fatty arms have a lot of momentum behind them and I was pinned in)
  4. Blimey, by your standards, most Ethiopians are overweight... 8O
  5. Original post editted - tonnes not stones :oops:

    Anyway, look at those ethiopian kiddies - ever seen the belly on one of them? Takes most blokes 20 years of beer drinking to get a belly like that... *awaits incoming from red cross and fcuking liberals*
  6. No, I don't think you should've made her cry Crabby. But I bet she goes home and either:

    1) Cries
    2) Eats
    3) Both of the above.

    I understand your frustration, being pressed up against a complete stranger who you find repulsive as it's not my idea of fun either. Also, if there is one thing I cannot stand is the stench of other people, whether they be thin or fat. It's disgusting.
  7. Well I'm glad someone has finally said it. Summer weather has set in now and I for one am sick of the sight and stink enimating from these sh*ts.

    One minor point though Crabby; Broad shoulders? You do know that you put a picture of yourself in the gallery, in which you look like a 12 year old pre-pubescent boy?
  8. Yeah yeah yeah, I know it looks like I have no shoulders, but I've got a 44 inch chest :p (44C, not bad hey? :p)

    You've just reminded me what I forgot. Summer weather means they flash their flesh!!!! Fcuk me, fat flesh is almost as minging as their smell. Women with 4 fcuking spare tyres around them squeezed into a tight top showing off at least one spare tyre around their middle, their disgusting cleavages, their fat necks, their thread veined minging thighs and god knows what else. If you're gonna be fat cover up for fcuks sake!!! Honestly, I don't mind having a good blimp - or full on letch at a nice young filly wearing skimpy clothes (it's what summer is all about), but these women are the best contraceptive known to man.

    Horrible horrible fcuking beasts
  9. Crabby mate,
    I'm right there with ya fella. Did you happen to see the programme on TV about 3 weeks ago called "Tax the fat"?
    The guy presenting it made a lot of very convincing points as to why fat fcuks should pay more tax than the rest of us. He'll be getting my vote come the revolution!
    The point made about air travel is actually spot on. Just in case you missed it, lets say a person of average height and build is checking in for a flight and are carrying luggage that is 5 kgs overweight, they'll get charged for it, but let's imagine say, the fat gipping, pie eating bitch whose acquaintance you had the misfortune to make, checks herself in, with baggage that is bang on the limit, she'll get charged fcuk all. How can that be fair when they'll be weighing at least 10kg more than the person of average height and build. When questioned, British Airways came back with some lame comment like "Sir, we don't discriminate by weight".
    Well I want to know why not? Well I know why not, do-gooding, politically correct, nicey-nicey, revelling in the decline of good-old British values like bullying fatties, human fcuking rights cnuting lawyers.....that's why.

    oh yeah, rant over!
  10. A valid point. Personally i'm irritated at the way we're always reminded how many of those in Sub-Saharan Africa have to walk for up to 3 hours to find water...........you would have thought they'd just move a bit nearer!

    Back to the fat issue, i applaud your firm line against these salad dodgers.

  11. Perhaps there should be train carriage/airccraft section/bus seat rows dedicated to lard-arrses with the tickets at a higher premium, that way the fatties will be kept away from everyone else and be paying extra for the larger seats and greater fuel consumption. At ticket purchase there could be a weight/size type cage a la airport hand baggage to determine where you should sit! It might also serve to shame them into looking after themselves a bit more instead of being a drain on the NHS.

    At the local pool yesterday I was shocked at several small children of varying ages, none above about 9 years old, being grossly overweight. These children cannot be entirely feeding themselves so in my book it's a form of child abuse. Social Services should be pursuing the parents surely?

    edited for hangover typing
  12. It's fat-bashing week on ARRSE!
  13. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Nah,he rolled her in flour to look for the dry spot!
  14. 'I've got a 44 inch chest' - crabby

    steady on fella, you'll be persuading us next that you are part gorilla and you're harder than you look ;-)

    as far as fat people go ... it must take some commitment to reach that level, but eewww ... the idea of all that sweaty flesh, stale smell and half eaten mars bars lost in their rolls
  15. I too am shocked by the very high percentage of local kids under about 12 years old who are obese. When I was that age (15 years ago) it was only about ,I would guesstimate, 10% of my class in school were fat. Now its defininitly close to 50% or more of the local kids are that big. However at the other end of the scale it is also just a bit worrying how skeletal some of the girls especially are.