Fathers day

#1
What are you expecting from your kids?

My brother-in-law had a good one a couple of years ago.

Knock on the door - young lad, about 18, stood there says “Hello, you don’t know me but I’m your son!!!!!!”

It was somewhat quiet in the household that day as he’d been married for 25 odd years.

ooops
 
#2
4-8-Alfa said:
What are you expecting from your kids?
moods swings & mouthing off. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#3
Don't really care because at the end of the day I'm paying for it. Happened last night, got home Mrs B&T says I have bought you a present. No you fucking havn't, you havn't got a job so the money came from the bank account whose sole contributor is me. Stupid dumb bitch!!!


I do need some socks though!
 
#4
Got an iPod.



Yes, I paid for it.....
 

BrunoNoMedals

LE
Kit Reviewer
#5
If I get anything I'll be worried - it would be a surprise of 4-8-Alfa-in-Law proportions!

On the plus side, this is one commercial scam day I can avoid because I've not seen my old man in two years and he's a cnut!

Bargain :D
 
#6
B_AND_T said:
No you fucking havn't, you havn't got a job so the money came from the bank account whose sole contributor is me. Stupid dumb bitch!!!
Mmmm, not so sure about that mate, who stays at home all day doing the square root of sod all, and who goes to work????
 
#7
devilish said:
Got an iPod.



Yes, I paid for it.....
I got one of those for Valentines Day.....because apparently I'd just bought him a bike 8O

Joint accounts.....the root of 90% of divorces.

He's getting fcuk all for fathers day except a cheap naafi card with a picture of sh1t boats on it. :D
 
#8
I am expecting a, Blow job, Decent malt, Lie in and a nice big breakfast.
I'll get fcuk all.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#10
4-8-Alfa said:
B_AND_T said:
No you fucking havn't, you havn't got a job so the money came from the bank account whose sole contributor is me. Stupid dumb bitch!!!
Mmmm, not so sure about that mate, who stays at home all day doing the square root of sod all, and who goes to work????
You know her don't you.
 
#11
B_AND_T said:
4-8-Alfa said:
B_AND_T said:
No you fucking havn't, you havn't got a job so the money came from the bank account whose sole contributor is me. Stupid dumb bitch!!!
Mmmm, not so sure about that mate, who stays at home all day doing the square root of sod all, and who goes to work????
You know her don't you.
I think you may have mentioned her once or twice in the past
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#12
4-8-Alfa said:
B_AND_T said:
4-8-Alfa said:
B_AND_T said:
No you fucking havn't, you havn't got a job so the money came from the bank account whose sole contributor is me. Stupid dumb bitch!!!
Mmmm, not so sure about that mate, who stays at home all day doing the square root of sod all, and who goes to work????
You know her don't you.
I think you may have mentioned her once or twice in the past
Are you the kindly west indian gentleman who comes round when daddy's at work and helps mummy fix the radiator in the bedroom.
 
#14
definition of mass confusion.....................

fathers day in the medway towns.
 
#15
B_AND_T said:
4-8-Alfa said:
B_AND_T said:
4-8-Alfa said:
B_AND_T said:
No you fucking havn't, you havn't got a job so the money came from the bank account whose sole contributor is me. Stupid dumb bitch!!!
Mmmm, not so sure about that mate, who stays at home all day doing the square root of sod all, and who goes to work????
You know her don't you.
I think you may have mentioned her once or twice in the past
Are you the kindly west indian gentleman who comes round when daddy's at work and helps mummy fix the radiator in the bedroom.
No I’m the IC1 veterinary helping her with her rabbit.
 
#17
Mr_Deputy said:
A_Knocker_Till_The_End said:
definition of mass confusion.....................

ANY day in the medway towns.
yeah I agree with that.
And Croydonia too! :wink:
 
#18
Every fathers day I like to remind my old man that as he never bought me a Johnny 7 gat for my tenth birthday, I'm shoving him in the cheapest "retirement home" I can find, and blowing my inheritance on Panamanian hookers.

www.panamanianhookers.com

Happy fathers day you tight sod!

I'm not bitter!
 
#19
The tots are too small to take interest in anything but toys and sweets (taking after me already!), so I fully expect the missus to step into the breach with a spot of How's Your Fathers' Day.

Ironically enough, that seems to be roughly when the twins were conceived!
 
#20
what I'd like is a lambourghini, unlimited supply of gas and two naked 19 year old Playboy bunnies to help steer the thing and a lottery win.

what I'll get is a cheesy card signed by all the kids 'cause their too cheap to pay for their own.. a crap 'dinner out' at a faux western steak house and a neck tie with some gawdawful pattern on it or a chinzy ' dad' theme.
they might even allow me a beer..
 

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