Fat septard bastards

Discussion in 'The Science Forum' started by cernunnos, Nov 28, 2011.

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  1. I was scanning the channels last night looking for the traditional German Sunday night porn film, (like stars on Sunday, but showing Jess Yates on his day off). I found a not too ropey looking bird in a white coat which seemed familiar. I was expecting a skinny German bloke called Detlef to turn up and get the bad news from the huge black rubber strap - on, hidden under the white coat, but no It turned out to be a real science documentary, I mean what are the chances of that? Instead of listening to bad hammond organ music and rodgering half of NATO this silly cow was feeding fruit juice to mice, off the wall or what?

    Anyhow the upshot was that meeces fed fruit juice containing fructose go a bit doolally and can't get enough of it, the other meeces had fruit juice with other sugars, just drank normally. After three weeks the fructose mice weighed 10% more. She waffled on a bit about insulin resistance and other biochemical shenanighans way over my swede. So what you ask, it seems the Americans have been carrying out a similar survey feeding high fructose corn syrup to their entire population for years. It's their main sweatener of choice! That's why coke and other sweet stuff tastes funny on the wrong side of the water. It seems that there is a reason why septics all have ten arses, they are all being poisoned. Now the American gubment have known this for years, but hey let's not rock the agriculture boat.

    Meanwhile, if you have rugrats, pick fructose free shit to pour into them and lets hope the septics don't cotton on, or sugar prices will rocket!
  2. Much as I would like to get my tinfoil hat out of the cupboard and give it an airing, I suspect that the decision to change to corn syrup had more to do with what the Americans spend half their time doing, increasing their profits, rather than what they spend the other half of their time doing, plotting to do each other down for the sheer hell of it.
  3. Fructose - you mean that naturally-occuring sugar that you get in fruit?
  4. Fructose is not quite the same as HFCS, although related. A really good book on how the Americans got beasted by the HFCS in all their food is called Fat Land - quite an enjoyable read if you're in to Popular Science type books. Not took geeky, but quite in depth.
  5. No! I mean that naturally-occuring sugar that you get in fruit! (Maltose, dextrose, sucrose and glucose also occur naturally in fruit by the way!)

    Fructose, weight gain, and the insulin resistance syndrome
  6. It also bangs your blood pressure up through the ******* roof and leaves you wearing a mu mu and trying to hide behind a guitar, not a bad prospect for a government wanting to sink it's financial commitment to pensioners!

  7. That ain't a guitar, it's a double-bass.

    The stuff used as sweetener seemes to be high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) this stuff;

    High-fructose corn syrup - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    It is used as a sweetener because it is cheaper than sugar and can be manufactured from US- grown corn, rather than use cane sugar imported from the Carribean. It is chemically very similar to honey.

    There was a similar concern about aspartame, an artificial sweetener used in fizz-pop. There was an intenet scare about it some years ago. Allegedly it breaks down into some toxic compounds if exposed to heat. There was a theory that it might have been a cause in Gulf War syndrome since huge quantities of sweetened drinks had been brought into Saudi and stored in hot conditions.

    Someone I knew drank mostly diet-coke. They suffered from nausea, dizziness, lethargy, etc. but didn't know what was causing this. I sent them a link to the aspartame scare-story and they stopped drinking diet coke. The symptoms vanished.
  8. Diet coke also make you fart like an old east German shot putter on a broccoli egg and sauerkraut diet!
  9. Unfortunately for my Big Pharma shares it seems high-fructose corn syrup does not cause cancer, only obesity, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and non-alcoholic fatty liver disease and none of those are as profitable as a good crop of tumors.

    I'm terribly vexed, the boomers should be cramming carcinogens down their gullets not this crap. It's only their bampot lifestyles and healthcare system that's keeping my portfolio sweet.
  10. You should extend your portfolio to include beta blockers and car search mirrors, most of the ******* haven't seen their own genitalia since childhood!