Fat people to get free trips to the zoo!

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Alpha-Mech, Jan 14, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. If it wasn't for the lady sat opposite showing me the tops of her stockings, this would have made my morning.

    Heaven exists in the form of women who dress up for their children's morning gym classes.
  2. I know it's not the NAAFI, but take a leaf out of tropper's book.

    Pictures, man, pictures.
  3. Funny though it is, it's a real issue in healthcare. We had a referral to scan a 40 stone woman (ultrasound, as her contraceptive coil has gone AWOL but that's a WHOLE other strand of hilarity)

    We can't do it as we don't have any couches that can take her weight. Most of our couches have a 28 stone limit, we DO have bariatric beds but they are all full. One bed takes up to 39 stone but we can't risk her 40 being a guesstimate.
  4. I made a couple of changes, hope you don't mind :)
  5. I think I may have been caught taking this by another mum, not looking forward to getting my collar felt. She's shifted her position too, which is a shame.

    Attached Files:

  6. Clearly the concept of a 40 stone whale needing a contraceptive coil eluded you :D You shag fatties dontcha? Eh? Eh?
    • Like Like x 1
  7. No comment, yerhorror. ;-)
  8. Admit it, you're the patient!

    Before you ask, yes I do and I'm also available.
  9. I think It's a great idea although i'd only let them visit the fat animals.

    Elephants and walrus, fill your boots. Meerkats? Get fucked.
  10. Put them in the lion cage and watch them shed a few pounds. Fat *****.

    Sent from my iPad using ARRSE app 'cause I can.
  11. I'm all in favour. After all, they need to feed the lions somehow and it'll be the only time the fatties take any exercise.

    Presumably, Westpoint likes this?
  12. This will remain funny right up to the point that one of them sues under the Human Rights Act for the 'humiliation' of being sent to the zoo. After a quick half million in compensation, and direction to all Hospitals that they must provide facilities for the over 40-stoners, the system will be further bankrupted for minimal benefit to society. What we need is a judge who will reject the claim by saying 'you have humiliated yourself by getting to this size, think yourself lucky we are not passing on the charge for hiring the elephant scanner'.
  13. Depends how you responded in the scouse/liverpool threads.
  14. Can't see anything!
    Can't you fake an epileptic fit at her feet and get some quality pictures? Use the flash, you can say that's what set you off.