Ah... the poor little (okay, huge) morbidly obese lazy idle slug! I have a suggested miracle cure she ought to try. It should appeal as the 'cure' has the added benefit of requiring absolutely no will power, no effort AND I'd be happy for pay for it!
The bullet might be good value, but the funeral would cost a fortune. Think of the infrastructure and materials needed to box and bury that f*cking lump.
If we skipped the funeral we could go with the old "burn them for electricity" routine and stick her in one of those biomass generators. They're built to allow trucks full of sh*te in, so the door should be about big enough and there are already vehicles equipped for the job.
NO! I have had a think about this and she clearly has needs, as do many others. And luckily we already have a very similar âacademyâ style course where the poor lambs can get all the love and comfort they need while getting fit and healthyâ¦â¦â¦â¦ I think it is called Junior Brecon!
No 5 year old has that much self awareness, or an inbred inclination to comfort eat. I suspect family influences may have had a helping hand in developing what obviously later became an addiction.
Her mother, Lesley, found Georgia's eating habits impossible to control: "You know what teenagers are.
"They don't want to be doing what they're supposed to be doing.
"They'd rather do the complete opposite."