An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds." When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 30 pounds! "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The Irishman nodded..."I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead dat 3rd day." "From hunger, you mean?" "No, from all dat f*ckin' 'skippin' " the Irishman said .