Fat ginger crooner Adele wants to "go and buy a gun and randomly open fire"

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#1
Because she got a bill from the tax man. For the millions of pounds she has earned by, well, crooning.

*Link thing*

Bless. One hates to imagine the fat ginger Mong whacking out her cheek bone because she has forgotten to slot some pin into the right hole. And there are people on ARRSE who might be RSO types?

Any help or advice for the sugared-up crooner would be most welcome.
 
#2
Send Cuddles round to sort her out. One look at her lumpy ginger frame will have him plotting apt punishments in abundance.
 
#3
Her new album is very good! Though I downloaded it for free, so she can thank me, as she won't pay any tax.
 
#4
**** her shes a whore and a **** and needs to be shot in the clit with a captive bolt gun
 
#7
**** her shes a whore and a **** and needs to be shot in the clit with a captive bolt gun
Knocked you back I take it?

Thick as ****, fat as **** and as rusty as the Titanic millionaire-ess?

Yep, I would.
 
#8
**** shagging that, digging even a shallow grave afterwards would be a man-test, and its hard to borrow a Medium Wheeled Tractor off of the RE for the kind of timescale needed.
 
#9
Blimey! celebrity says what everyone else feels when then see their payslip. Best part of half your wage gone to fund ravey Davey Cameron. The girl could save herself some money by joining the navy. They'll give her a gun and some free ammunition to fire randomly.
It's pretty simple. Spend <90 days in Blighty. Pays yer tax in a sensible country like Switzerland.

I really like her album and, yes, I would bung one up her. Nice girl too, I imagine.
 
#10
Knocked you back I take it?

Thick as ****, fat as **** and as rusty as the Titanic millionaire-ess?

Yep, I would.
never met it just hate her face music and everything about it, shes been famous for all of 7 minutes and the cnuts moaning about having to pay a shitload of tax while also banging on about how she wont do big gigs cause shes "scared of crowds" i hope her nipples turn septic
 
#12
Chaps, chaps

No-one is saying be nice to her, I'm saying pretend to be nice to it and throw the dog a bone now and again until she hands over the cashcard.

After that I'd get princess Leia to strangle her wearing a gold bikini and I'd **** off to the Maldives to smash fit whores.
 
#14
I'd give a damn good **** and have her buy me a Lamborghini for the effort.
 
#17
I should specify that it would need to be a Lamborghini Murcielago SV... she'll have to chuck in the 355 too if she wants me to go down.
 
#18
You are all insulting bastards - How dare you insult 'Ginger' I can tell you that I am ginger and I dont pay a ******* penny in taxes so **** you. And I'm eco friendly - I can wash my whole body including my arse using just my tongue and no water at all.

Mind you - I am a cat.
 
#19
You are all insulting bastards - How dare you insult 'Ginger' I can tell you that I am ginger and I dont pay a ******* penny in taxes so **** you. And I'm eco friendly - I can wash my whole body including my arse using just my tongue and no water at all.

Mind you - I am a ****.
fixed FOC cause I'm nice like that
 
#20
Greedy cow, I'd be happy with £4 and a Mars bar never mind £4mil.

Then again, I'm speshul that way.
 
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