Fat ginger crooner Adele wants to "go and buy a gun and randomly open fire"

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by TheIronDuke, May 26, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Because she got a bill from the tax man. For the millions of pounds she has earned by, well, crooning.

    *Link thing*

    Bless. One hates to imagine the fat ginger Mong whacking out her cheek bone because she has forgotten to slot some pin into the right hole. And there are people on ARRSE who might be RSO types?

    Any help or advice for the sugared-up crooner would be most welcome.
     
  2. Send Cuddles round to sort her out. One look at her lumpy ginger frame will have him plotting apt punishments in abundance.
     
  3. Her new album is very good! Though I downloaded it for free, so she can thank me, as she won't pay any tax.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  4. **** her shes a whore and a **** and needs to be shot in the clit with a captive bolt gun
     
    • Like Like x 2
  5. Is that fence sore?
     
  6. surprisingly comfortable
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Knocked you back I take it?

    Thick as ****, fat as **** and as rusty as the Titanic millionaire-ess?

    Yep, I would.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. **** shagging that, digging even a shallow grave afterwards would be a man-test, and its hard to borrow a Medium Wheeled Tractor off of the RE for the kind of timescale needed.
     
  9. Blimey! celebrity says what everyone else feels when then see their payslip. Best part of half your wage gone to fund ravey Davey Cameron. The girl could save herself some money by joining the navy. They'll give her a gun and some free ammunition to fire randomly.
    It's pretty simple. Spend <90 days in Blighty. Pays yer tax in a sensible country like Switzerland.

    I really like her album and, yes, I would bung one up her. Nice girl too, I imagine.
     
  10. never met it just hate her face music and everything about it, shes been famous for all of 7 minutes and the ***** moaning about having to pay a shitload of tax while also banging on about how she wont do big gigs cause shes "scared of crowds" i hope her nipples turn septic
     
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Well i for one def shag her but only if she shaves her cnut

     
  12. Chaps, chaps

    No-one is saying be nice to her, I'm saying pretend to be nice to it and throw the dog a bone now and again until she hands over the cashcard.

    After that I'd get princess Leia to strangle her wearing a gold bikini and I'd **** off to the Maldives to smash fit whores.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  13. i'd rather have a ****
     
    • Like Like x 1
  14. I'd give a damn good **** and have her buy me a Lamborghini for the effort.
     
  15. You just have. That post was ****.