After shagging a fat chick whilst I was drunk the next morning I said to her, "Here, if you want to see me again call this number."ahh," she said, 'no blokes ever give me their numbers'. I said, 'It ain't mine it's weight watchers!'
I took a large girl home from the pub last night, after snogging in the living room. we started up the stairs, when a voice from my bedroom said" I hope she isn't the same fat cnut from last week, she nearly killed me". the girl said " who the fcuk is that" I said " it is my new memory foam mattress,"