Fat birds. Do they ever give it a kin rest?

What is it with fat birds? On and f'kin on about how fat they are all the frickin time and they do the square root of feck all about it.

Fat Bird:"in one breath you're saying how much you're looking forward to seeing me, then in the next saying about appearance, not mine I know but it gets me thinking about what you're really thinking about me"

ES: "You're the one with a problem about how you look not me."

Fat bird:"So you don't have a problem with my appearance?"

ES, "Well you could do with losing two stone but as long as you've got a smile on your face and want fu king senseless in every orifice of your body I can live with it. I've F'ked fat birds before"

Fat Bird. "you think I'm fat don't you?"

Es "Yes you're the size of a house"

On and f'king on!

Why do these pie munching chocolate guzzling monsters constantly seek reassurance that they're not fat when simply looking at the label in their marquee sized knickers give all the confirmation necessary?
 
Have you done something naughty with a fat munter and your trying to build some form of macho defence?
 
D

Deleted 26305

Guest
Why is that every Fat Chick I meet, says she only eats Salads!!! Just how many a day would cause that sort of lard to appear?
 

jk22

Old-Salt
Thats fuking true. Its the mayonaise they have. They eat half a jar, put it back in the fridge and come out with a plain salad. Sneaky.

Being fat, is being lazy (unless medical con). I do love a fat bird though. Theres something cruel about chatting one up and making them feel wanted when all you want to do is pongo them for a laugh. Just focus on the gigantic tits. Ignore the bingo wings and Kwik Fit tyre centre.
 
He chases chubs on weekends.

I like a bit of stuffing on a man. Even a chap who is quite portly usually has lovely legs if they've ever done any phys in their life.
 
D

Deleted 26305

Guest
Ahh Mr D,

Just because I talk to them, does not mean I do anything else. As I get older, I get more choosy. As the syaing goes, been there & done that!!!

:)
 
Mr_Deputy said:
I thought you had a wife?
I never married and the previous Long Haired Brigadier was given an administrative discharge SNLR last August. :)
 
D

Deleted 26305

Guest
I most certainly will and if I can find the polaroids, I'll be only too happy to share..... :)
 

spike7451

RIP
RIP
Mr_Deputy said:
mac5543 said:
Ahh Mr D,

Just because I talk to them, does not mean I do anything else. As I get older, I get more choosy. As the syaing goes, been there & done that!!!

:)
I was really talking to Ex_Stab. Feel free to brag about having lots of bouncy castle sex though! :)
Bag of flour,gimp hood & climbing gear at the ready eh Mr_D?...
 
milsum said:
He chases chubs on weekends.

I like a bit of stuffing on a man. Even a chap who is quite portly usually has lovely legs if they've ever done any phys in their life.
we have to, to carry the extra fcuking weight
the missus says i've got lovely calves & thighs

just above the waist its all aflab!
 
EX_STAB said:
Why do these pie munching chocolate guzzling monsters constantly seek reassurance that they're not fat when simply looking at the label in their marquee sized knickers give all the confirmation necessary?
So it'll give them a self-esteem boost, to make them feel better about themselves.
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
Fat birds are just like mopeds. Great fun, but you wouldn't want your mates to see you on one.
 
Biscuits_AB said:
Fat birds are just like mopeds. Great fun, but you wouldn't want your mates to see you on one.
I would. I'd like them to watch whilst I rode her face, laughing as she vomited all over my cock, sobbing uncontrollably as she realised her only future was a shallow grave and 10 minutes on 'Crimewatch'
 

JONCAL

Old-Salt
mac5543 said:
Why is that every Fat Chick I meet, says she only eats Salads!!! Just how many a day would cause that sort of lard to appear?
And theres usally 1/2 lb of burger under the salad
 

itchyscott

Clanker
don't trust fat girls!! they seem harmless and fun until your nice to one and you ask her to hold your drink when you go for a piss and she spikes your drink with a mixture of rohyphnol and viagra, the lads so im told just pissed themselves laughin as she carried me off home, woke up to find the blob riding me, talk about using her inishative but i guess it was free!
 
FiveAlpha said:
Biscuits_AB said:
Fat birds are just like mopeds. Great fun, but you wouldn't want your mates to see you on one.
I would. I'd like them to watch whilst I rode her face, laughing as she vomited all over my cock, sobbing uncontrollably as she realised her only future was a shallow grave and 10 minutes on 'Crimewatch'
I hear you brother. I always pull myself off to the early morning news on GMTV the next day when its revealed that my previous nights conquest has been "found by a jogger" in bin bags dumped in the undergrowth at the local playing fields.
 
itchyscott said:
don't trust fat girls!! they seem harmless and fun until your nice to one and you ask her to hold your drink when you go for a urine and she spikes your drink with a mixture of rohyphnol and viagra, the lads so im told just pissed themselves laughin as she carried me off home, woke up to find the blob riding me, talk about using her inishative but i guess it was free!
And then you woke up.

How did you know it was Viagra? Or Rohypnol? Did she tell you?
 

itchyscott

Clanker
Praetorian said:
itchyscott said:
don't trust fat girls!! they seem harmless and fun until your nice to one and you ask her to hold your drink when you go for a urine and she spikes your drink with a mixture of rohyphnol and viagra, the lads so im told just pissed themselves laughin as she carried me off home, woke up to find the blob riding me, talk about using her inishative but i guess it was free!
And then you woke up.

How did you know it was Viagra? Or Rohypnol? Did she tell you?
to be honest mate i went from fine to couldnt stand up in the space of 15 minutes even by lightweight standard that is impressive i dont really know what happend, the lads i was living with at the time said i was sprawled on the table just dribbling, then the girl who i had asked to hold my drink picked me up and carried me off and put me in the taxi, none of the c*nts tried to stop her, just pointed and laughed. yea woke up to being riden by the blob told her to stop but she was too strong hahaha, no pushed her off or rolled her off when i came then stumbled out with the door with my troussers round my ankles , great night!!!
 

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