Fat birds. Do they ever give it a kin rest?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by EX_STAB, Mar 6, 2009.

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  1. What is it with fat birds? On and f'kin on about how fat they are all the frickin time and they do the square root of feck all about it.

    Fat Bird:"in one breath you're saying how much you're looking forward to seeing me, then in the next saying about appearance, not mine I know but it gets me thinking about what you're really thinking about me"

    ES: "You're the one with a problem about how you look not me."

    Fat bird:"So you don't have a problem with my appearance?"

    ES, "Well you could do with losing two stone but as long as you've got a smile on your face and want fu king senseless in every orifice of your body I can live with it. I've F'ked fat birds before"

    Fat Bird. "you think I'm fat don't you?"

    Es "Yes you're the size of a house"

    On and f'king on!

    Why do these pie munching chocolate guzzling monsters constantly seek reassurance that they're not fat when simply looking at the label in their marquee sized knickers give all the confirmation necessary?
  2. Have you done something naughty with a fat munter and your trying to build some form of macho defence?
  3. More to love, half the fun is finding it, etc etc..
  4. Why is that every Fat Chick I meet, says she only eats Salads!!! Just how many a day would cause that sort of lard to appear?
  5. Thats fuking true. Its the mayonaise they have. They eat half a jar, put it back in the fridge and come out with a plain salad. Sneaky.

    Being fat, is being lazy (unless medical con). I do love a fat bird though. Theres something cruel about chatting one up and making them feel wanted when all you want to do is pongo them for a laugh. Just focus on the gigantic tits. Ignore the bingo wings and Kwik Fit tyre centre.
  6. He chases chubs on weekends.

    I like a bit of stuffing on a man. Even a chap who is quite portly usually has lovely legs if they've ever done any phys in their life.
  7. Ahh Mr D,

    Just because I talk to them, does not mean I do anything else. As I get older, I get more choosy. As the syaing goes, been there & done that!!!

  8. I never married and the previous Long Haired Brigadier was given an administrative discharge SNLR last August. :)
  9. I most certainly will and if I can find the polaroids, I'll be only too happy to share..... :)
  10. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Bag of flour,gimp hood & climbing gear at the ready eh Mr_D?...
  11. we have to, to carry the extra fcuking weight
    the missus says i've got lovely calves & thighs

    just above the waist its all aflab!
  12. So it'll give them a self-esteem boost, to make them feel better about themselves.
  13. Fat birds are just like mopeds. Great fun, but you wouldn't want your mates to see you on one.
  14. I would. I'd like them to watch whilst I rode her face, laughing as she vomited all over my cock, sobbing uncontrollably as she realised her only future was a shallow grave and 10 minutes on 'Crimewatch'