What is it with fat birds? On and f'kin on about how fat they are all the frickin time and they do the square root of feck all about it. Fat Bird:"in one breath you're saying how much you're looking forward to seeing me, then in the next saying about appearance, not mine I know but it gets me thinking about what you're really thinking about me" ES: "You're the one with a problem about how you look not me." Fat bird:"So you don't have a problem with my appearance?" ES, "Well you could do with losing two stone but as long as you've got a smile on your face and want fu king senseless in every orifice of your body I can live with it. I've F'ked fat birds before" Fat Bird. "you think I'm fat don't you?" Es "Yes you're the size of a house" On and f'king on! Why do these pie munching chocolate guzzling monsters constantly seek reassurance that they're not fat when simply looking at the label in their marquee sized knickers give all the confirmation necessary?