Fat bint too fat to be cremated

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by crabby, May 29, 2006.

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  1. BBC

    Well quite honestly if she wasn't 22 stone she probably wouldn't be dead, she'd still be around for her kids not to be angry. If they're angry at anyone it shouldn't be the crematorium. I live about 1/2 a mile from there, it's a really nice place and I'm sure when it was put in they didn't expect 22stone muntas. Think of the risk assessment forms needed for the staff carrying that.

    Why is this just another "blame everyone but ourselves"????

    well, I suppose at the end of the day it's blair's fault
     
  2. That was a rather large leap of logic there Crabby. People complain, that's human nature. It's bloody annoying, but that's how it is. Everyone tries to find someone to blame when something like this happens - Blair's government did not bring about this kind of denile(sp?).
     
  3. They handled it all wrong. Once the box had gone through the curtain, they should have taken a chainsaw to her and put her through in bits.

    Mind you, the sound of a chainsaw screaming into life from beyond the curtain in the midst of the requiem hymn may have raised a few eyebrows.. :D
     
  4. What would the daughter recommend?

    Perhaps they should take her mother down to the local slaughter house and saw her in two with one of those big thingies they use to split cows carcases before sticking her in two seperate boxes and making an afternoon of it instead of a mere half hour service.
     
  5. I should add that if the family can't cremate her they should do something useful with her. Perhaps bring out there own line of Whale Brand Soap, I'm sure a few tonnes of the stuff can be made on the cheap.
     
  6. Blow the fat fcuk up like they do with whales on beaches!
     
  7. They could even recycle her and make enough soap for all the baths in the world cup. I'm sure the family would be much happier if she was wrapped in little paper covers with the England flag on and given to the Germans to remind them of what their grandparents did to Mr & Mrs Goldstien.
     
  8. Sorry, most people who read arrse see me vainly trying to stick up for labour occasionally, and sometimes even Blair. There are people on here that would be happy with that leap of logic.
     
  9. A good old fashioned axe would be quieter.
     
  10. They could slowley ease her in like you do with a big log on a fire, you know, leave a bit over the edge and as the bit in the fire burns away slide a bit more of her in, could be a long service though lol!
     
  11. Thats the sort of aid they should be sending to Java. Should keep them going for a while.
     
  12. Should have melted her gently over a builders skip full of petrol and collected the juices for recycling into bio-diesel.
     
  13. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Should have popped her into the freezer and kept her til 5th November, plenty big outdoor bonfires then!
     
  14. Just chuck her on the braii, she'll be done by the time we've finished the beer!
     
  15. What is this girl suggesting they do, install a bigger door in the fcuking oven to accommodate their mother? How would she have enjoyed getting the bill for that as part of accommodating their dearly departed Mum?