Farty Pants

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by whit_RE, Jan 25, 2007.

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  1. Farty Pants

    Mine should last me a day...if I keep off the guinness...
  2. So it you follow through, apart from clogging up the filter, no one should be any wiser?
  3. Defeats the object of a good fart. What is the point of having one if you can't share it with other people for their approval?
  4. I just like wearing rubber pants...
  5. Maybe incontinence pants are more up your street. I hear they do a nice line in them these days :thumright:
  6. I'm not incontinent...yet...its just the smell and the stains that the missus complains about...

    Maybe I could get her to wear em on her head...although that would make ATM quite difficult...
  7. No the incontinence panys were for B2n. However, in your case panty liners keeps you fresh. Get yourself down to superdrug and your wife will love you forever.
  8. Totally agree.

    I had a serious conversation with MDN the other day on the way to work......

    "If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it...... does it make a sound?"

    Well along those lines but nothing like it, over an hours travel we had composed a hypothesis and scientific experiment......

    Do farts taste like they smell?

    To answer this we are to conduct the following experiment…..

    Under controlled conditions (in the Naafi) after several pints and bags of pork scratchings I am to release a substantial guff into his mouth, like fine wine tasting he must sample it the give his verdict, obviously he would have to wear a swimmers nose clip so as not to confuse his senses.

    The result is fairly insignificant really, MDN chewing on my air biscuit however is very satisfying.
  9. Ahhhh yes but Cait, be present at your own risk. Look here

    (25 March 1993)
    A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man killed by his own gas. There were no marks found on his body, but an autopsy revealed the presence of large amounts of methane dissolved in his blood.

    His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage, just the right combination of foods to produce a severe gas attack. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed.

    Had his windows been open, the flatulence wouldn't have been fatal, but the man was shut up in a nearly airtight bedroom. He was an obese man with an unlimited capacity for creating the deadly gas. Three rescuers became sick and one was hospitalized.
  11. Unless i trump down a garden hose, not sure how thats possible?
  12. Farts smell so that deaf people can enjoy them too!
  13. You mean youve never tried popping down a hose pipe. You havent lived Cait lol.
  14. Everything you ever needed to know about farting...

  15. No but i have trumped "Somewhere over the Rainbow" down the Pans Pipes.

    And I lick kids.