Farts to clear the Mess Bar with.

#1
I used to gorge on cauliflowers, sprouts, guiness and pickled eggs prior to a SNCO mess do - with predictable 'Jesus Christ! Who the fack is that!' sort of reaction. Incredibly childish fun but by eck did I go through some shreddies.
Now fellow obnoxious twats - which feotid well tried recipies can you offer?
 
#4
...cheese on toast and newky braaahn...hmmmm. Ok
 
#5
Any reasonably sized KFC meal, washed down with half a jar of silverskin pickled onions and a couple of large pickled gherkins.
 
#6
Tesco Taco mixed beans in tomato and chilli sauce, bottle of Bulmers and a cheese omlette...apparently!
 
#7
Pevo and slipinaditch. One morning I had some random Sgt, puke out of a landrover window after a particulary heavy session.
 
#9
Once did a curried mudfish and dodgy left over egg noodles sesh. Could not move away from the crapper for more than a 100 metres next day but by eck....cleared the NAAFI in Sennelager
 
#12
Farts? Mere amateurs, simply sh1t in your pants to clear the bar, it doesn't even matter what you have troughed.
 
#13
Did a bodge job in Herat last year - dodgy Italian/Spanish paella thingy in their cookhouse, 40+ outside, rancid el cheapo red wine.
Nearly shat the Herc going back to Kabul and yes ....cleared that as well!
 
#14
My brother and I used to spend Sunday Mornings at the Railway Arms in Whitechapel and the Thomas Neale in Watney Market, we'd normally be well hungover from Saturday night's excesses so we'd drink large amounts of Mann's Brown and gorge on the free rollmops, whelks and Jellied eels that both pubs used to put on on a Sunday. The Railway being that much smaller we usually got kicked out of there long before closing for turning the air thick and green, believe me, it stank!
 
#16
If you're the sporty type try using Synergy by PHD sports nutrition. Two servings of that a day before the necessary social occasion will soon have you clearing the room.

It's effects on a few coppers in a van are quite dramatic, and potentially explosive!
 
#17
 
#18
This is one reason while the smoking ban should be revoked. Pubs either reek of curried fart or lily of the fucking valley airfreshner nowadays. A real mans pub should stink of sweat , farts , fried cooking & fag smoke combined. :twisted:

A meat feast pizza or kebab washed down with a few pints of Spitfire always produces a few room clearers for me :D

LT
 
#20
Oh feck. Just fancy a pizza with loads of garlic, anchovies, peppers rinsed down with a sambucca/weizen beer mixture. Coupla lumps of blue bastardo cheese to finish and some shrimps in vinegar.
I think I'll have to film this for you tube.
 
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