Farting to made illegal in Malawi

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#2
I can just imagine loads of Malawians(?) exploding from an over pressure of gas as it builds up....
 
#4
Is there a limit on the volume allowed out before you are over the limit, or is it just classed as farting with undue care ? Sounds a bit shitty to me
 
#5
"The crime will be enforceable in a new 'Local Court' system which will also have powers to punish a range of other crimes in the bill set to be debated in the country's parliament. These include insulting the modesty of a woman, challenging to fight a duel, and trespassing on a burial place.
It also outlaws pretending to be a fortune teller, according to local press in the country."

So If you fart, insult a womens modesty, fight a duel & dance on a grave, your fucked!!
 
#8
Surely there must be mitigating circumstances, such as coughing and one popped out, or taking a dump.
 
#11
I thinks its judged by an fartalizer you have to fart into the tube to see if its over the legal limit of smellynes
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#12
the fortune teller thing must be quite a big problem there then , or they wouldnt bother , is there just fortune telling walts around every corner ?
They can't be very good or they'd know the Police were coming...
 
#13
Sounds like a job for the Bottom Inspectors!

 
#14
Re the unlawful farting:

"locals fear that pinning responsibility on the crime will be difficult - and may lead to miscarriages of justice as 'criminals' attempt to blame others for their offence.
One Malawian told the website Africanews.com: ''My goodness. What happens in a public place where a group is gathered. Do they lock up half a minibus?"

It's one thing blaming the dog but the minibus? "nah guv it weren't me it was the transit bus over there - honest" @.@
 
#16
So a defence lawyer gets up and says to the judge. "Your honour? Have you never broken wind?"
He replies "No." so commits perjury
He replies "Yes." So shouldn't be trying a case with which he is himself guilty of.
This has to be a load of wind.:policecap:
 
#17
Back in the day I left and joined the Old Bill, I did my training at Cwmbran. We finished lessons one morning and I was walking along a corridor with a mate when I forgot where I was and let an absolute cracker go, it sounded like a gun shot. Before I knew it a female training Sgt was standing in front of telling me to stand at attention while she attempted to bollock me, having been professionally bollocked a few times in the army, her efforts were a bit of a joke and very shrill. The more she carried on the funnier things seemed to be me and the chap I was with were both sniggering like school kids which of course stoked her up even more. In the end she gave up and sent us on our way, I was apparently a typical disgusting male. She was right about that however you would have thought that farting was illegal in Wales.
 
#18
Are you safe from prosecution if you don't fire blanks?
 

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