Farting to made illegal in Malawi

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by vvaannmmaann, Jan 29, 2011.

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  1. I can just imagine loads of Malawians(?) exploding from an over pressure of gas as it builds up....
  2. And, if caught and convicted, does your lower colon get tagged and a 2000 to 0600 curfew?
  3. Is there a limit on the volume allowed out before you are over the limit, or is it just classed as farting with undue care ? Sounds a bit shitty to me
  4. "The crime will be enforceable in a new 'Local Court' system which will also have powers to punish a range of other crimes in the bill set to be debated in the country's parliament. These include insulting the modesty of a woman, challenging to fight a duel, and trespassing on a burial place.
    It also outlaws pretending to be a fortune teller, according to local press in the country."

    So If you fart, insult a womens modesty, fight a duel & dance on a grave, your fucked!!
  5. how do you prove your credentials as a fortune teller ?
  6. Tell the judge that you can see a long stretch in front of you...
  7. Surely there must be mitigating circumstances, such as coughing and one popped out, or taking a dump.
  8. ...........that would be telling.
  9. the fortune teller thing must be quite a big problem there then , or they wouldnt bother , is there just fortune telling walts around every corner ?
  10. I thinks its judged by an fartalizer you have to fart into the tube to see if its over the legal limit of smellynes
  11. They can't be very good or they'd know the Police were coming...
  12. Sounds like a job for the Bottom Inspectors!

  13. Re the unlawful farting:

    "locals fear that pinning responsibility on the crime will be difficult - and may lead to miscarriages of justice as 'criminals' attempt to blame others for their offence.
    One Malawian told the website Africanews.com: ''My goodness. What happens in a public place where a group is gathered. Do they lock up half a minibus?"

    It's one thing blaming the dog but the minibus? "nah guv it weren't me it was the transit bus over there - honest" @.@
  14. I'm buying into an African butt plug factory first thing Monday morning.