Farting to made illegal in Malawi


Book Reviewer
I can just imagine loads of Malawians(?) exploding from an over pressure of gas as it builds up....
Is there a limit on the volume allowed out before you are over the limit, or is it just classed as farting with undue care ? Sounds a bit shitty to me
"The crime will be enforceable in a new 'Local Court' system which will also have powers to punish a range of other crimes in the bill set to be debated in the country's parliament. These include insulting the modesty of a woman, challenging to fight a duel, and trespassing on a burial place.
It also outlaws pretending to be a fortune teller, according to local press in the country."

So If you fart, insult a womens modesty, fight a duel & dance on a grave, your fucked!!
Surely there must be mitigating circumstances, such as coughing and one popped out, or taking a dump.
I thinks its judged by an fartalizer you have to fart into the tube to see if its over the legal limit of smellynes


Book Reviewer
the fortune teller thing must be quite a big problem there then , or they wouldnt bother , is there just fortune telling walts around every corner ?
They can't be very good or they'd know the Police were coming...
Sounds like a job for the Bottom Inspectors!

Re the unlawful farting:

"locals fear that pinning responsibility on the crime will be difficult - and may lead to miscarriages of justice as 'criminals' attempt to blame others for their offence.
One Malawian told the website Africanews.com: ''My goodness. What happens in a public place where a group is gathered. Do they lock up half a minibus?"

It's one thing blaming the dog but the minibus? "nah guv it weren't me it was the transit bus over there - honest" @.@
So a defence lawyer gets up and says to the judge. "Your honour? Have you never broken wind?"
He replies "No." so commits perjury
He replies "Yes." So shouldn't be trying a case with which he is himself guilty of.
This has to be a load of wind.:policecap:
Back in the day I left and joined the Old Bill, I did my training at Cwmbran. We finished lessons one morning and I was walking along a corridor with a mate when I forgot where I was and let an absolute cracker go, it sounded like a gun shot. Before I knew it a female training Sgt was standing in front of telling me to stand at attention while she attempted to bollock me, having been professionally bollocked a few times in the army, her efforts were a bit of a joke and very shrill. The more she carried on the funnier things seemed to be me and the chap I was with were both sniggering like school kids which of course stoked her up even more. In the end she gave up and sent us on our way, I was apparently a typical disgusting male. She was right about that however you would have thought that farting was illegal in Wales.
Are you safe from prosecution if you don't fire blanks?

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