Farting in the bath - one of lifes great pleasures.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by crispy_haddock, Jun 25, 2005.

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  1. If this topic's been discussed before, please stand aside and let an infuriated mod send it to a matrix-stylee grave, or whatever happens to dead threads.


    Lying in the bath last night I felt the brewings of a reinactment of Krakatoa coming along.

    So, as one does, I pushed a bit and the encouraging first bubbles headed for surface, the little bstards tickling the hoop and scrot on the way up. A bit like pre-cum.

    Feeling the main erruption on it's way, the voices inside me yelled "BRACE BRACE BRACE" as my thighs began to wobble and the flaccid member was lifted up by angry bubbles screaming skywards. The water all around splashed and spluttered.

    Now I sincerely believe Krakatoa was far less deadly, and Mount St Helens a mere pea-shooter compared to the actions in the bathroom last night.

    For one thing those living on the volcano simply had to dodge a few flows of molten rock hurtling towards their homes, and perhaps a bit of scorching white-hot ash. Nothing much. Volcanoes don't smell.

    A secondary erruption tossed the floating shampoo bottle clean out of the bath. That gave me a sense of pride.

    This had all been well and good up until the moment I realised I should have posted this in Following Through - Sport of Kings.

    Sh!t I yelled, rather aptly as I leapt out of the tub, brown goo slowly diffusing out in a cone-formation from the leak-point.


    So, trying not to encroach on the legendary thread's remit, anyone else followed through in the bath?

    Anyone else feel cheated of a proper bath if they don't inject a bit of gaseous matter into the water?

    Your thoughts please gentlemen.
  2. I have followed through in the bath, i was very young though but what made it even better was that my brother was in there at the same time (no jokes please), he got a wee bit of a surprise when this little brown lump started floating towards him.

    If you take a jam jar into the bath with you, you can catch the bubbles of gas as they come to the surface, put the lid on and store them for later. Find the person you think would be most easily disgusted and open it in their face. Job done. :lol:
  3. get the jug yer missus rinses her hair with...........then hold it upside down between yer legs (after expelling all the air out of it), and gently break wind, catching the gas in the jug. now, wait as long as is possible, get your face down close to the water , and flip the jug over......... close mouth and breath in deeply through nose, mmmmmmmmmmmmm

    aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh bisto!

    one of lifes little pleasures....... why is it my shtie smells so good, whilst everyone elses smells so bad??

    do i need help?
  4. Warrydave;

    You don't need help mate, you just need a bigger jug!

  5. or some bubble bath. as the bubbles are disturbed small pockets of arrse gas are released allowing you to relive your favourite best farts several times. :D
  6. But make sure its a good manly one there's nothing worse than mixing the fine bouquet of your own submersible air biscuit with the missuses peach and apricot relaxing bath soak.