Farting - expression of love

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by whit_RE, Feb 18, 2007.

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  1. Another air biscuit has announced its presence in our flat, along with a fit of giggling and the words "oops, it slipped out". This from a woman who for a long time would never even admit to having an arrse. She is now comfortable, even proud, to burp and fart in my company. It must be love...
    Still, with the amount of air that gets shoved into her tradesmens when I'm fisting her, she can't really help herself...especially after the kidney punches :threaten:
  2. Farting during sex and not missing a stroke, wether it's you or her that does it - now that's love!
  3. An ex of mine followed through once when I was banging her up the wrong un. There was a desperate cry of "oh no,I can't hold it in", and the next thing I know theres soft and steamy chocolate mousse being squeezed out all over my hampton and pubes...
    Still once we'd cleaned up in the shower adn now knowing that she was definitely running on 'empty' she let me try again...now thats love!
  4. It's always embarrassing when mud is drawn from the well

    Thats what comes from trying too hard! :cyclopsani:
  5. Talking of a anal prolapsing - that reminds me of a story when was a block full screw at the JR's accom in snadhurst - serve to Ojar. And namely one of the storeman leroy burrel had been nailling dorty donna up the hoop all night, the camp bike and cleaner. Burell was his porn star name and it was generally known that he looked like the milkey bar kid but was hung like a baboon. Dorty donna liked his action and they were regular pumping partners. I knew that night Burrel had been hanging out the back donna - but he decided to go for trap two. End result = donna with a split ringpiece and shat sprayed all up the wall of burrells rooml. Dorty donna buggered off to adminster hoop first aid in the early hours .. and left burrell to sleep in the reminance. I walked in the room as the block senior and that burrell happily kipping in poo and blood - i was flapping like a barstard as the CSM was coming to inspect the block in figures 15. Me and my mate carried the bed outside the block and hid it and got a spare bed out the room. burrell was scrubbing the remanance of the shat and blood off the walll... the rest... shall we say is history, by the way this is one of the many tales of leroy. :numberone:
  6. Fart in bed under the duvet and then "move to get comfortable" by ensuring that the duvet "being moved wafts your product in the direction of your loved one". Or fart in bed and then hold the other half under the duvet so she inhales deeply your fart. Sharing is truly a sign of affection.
  7. ..this whole thread stinks to me..
  8. Hi all

    latly ive had a never ending supply of gas,which tbh is a waste and im sure could power a few houses in my area.

    id stuff the otherhalfs head under the duvet but im afraid death by suffocation may occur as my guts have been stinking like week old road kill.

    sometimes i have to savour the gooduns, they smell like a good full english (bar slightly rotten eggs and well done bacon)

    im kinda proud and im sure even the cats been carving its way out of the backdoor to escape.(result!!

    amazing though,that your farts can duplicate smells you breath in.:)
    and on a cold night the hot ones are welcome and saves turning the CH up:)

    im sooo thoughtful im gonna bottle the next one so the otherhalf doesnt miss any rancid ones while shes asleep upstairs(now thats love!!

    time for a covert style knockout attack(right under the nose)beats wasting rohipnol, and its quicker than waking her from a deep sleep to warm her up for the main course with boring foreplay and messing 2 fingers up:)
    now thats considerate!and the sign of a true man
  9. Nothing says "I love you baby" like an air renting, ring splitter followed by the Dutch Oven. Extra points for any shitmist that she does not notice on her thighs due to the pressure wave generated.