Farewell Mr Last Poo 2007 :(

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by SuperTrooper, Dec 31, 2007.

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  1. I've just laid a 9 inch plus cable in my toilet, gazed down at it and bid it a fond farewell before sending it home to that poo graveyard in the drains. What have Arrse members done to remember at the close of another year. MDN you blew your dog off last year if I remember so lets have some original stuff from you please.

    :D :party:
  2. He might be out. We are not all saddos Soops. Happy New Year
  3. Probably nail my scrotum to the kitchen table just to get over the boredom or maybe go to bed.
  4. I lost my kidney earlier...
  5. Just the one ? Amateur...
    Laid an average one before setting off for the 15 mile drive to the orifice, roads lovely and quiet, no mong mums in 4x4's.
    Due obviously to an unwashed glass last night, the rumbles and stirrings commenced with the first road hump.
    Thank you to Sainsburys Penge, the Esso at Crystal Palace, Sainsburys Dulwich ( pattern developing and not a pretty one), Safeway on the Walworth Road and the dodgy gaff on Southwark Bridge Road for supplying facilities. Apologies for the sound effects, but the ole hoop is still stinging even after an application of Tescos value medicated wet wipes. Happy 2008 :oops:
  6. Well as I'm in front of the porn station, sorry I mean PC, I may as well rub the first one out of the year.

    When I was younger, thinner and less married I used to love New Years, guaranteed fuckathon with some inebriated bit of totty, now its pop to friends with kids and stagger back to put the little darlings back to bed

    Oh god, wheres the mess revolver when you need it
  7. When exactly, welly? Your post says 12.59, so that's nigh on an hour after the big Bong struck.

    An hour? Shurely someone could have beaten that? After an hour, you must be feeling a bit chaffed, not to mention weak at the knees.

    ... unless you're a Bootie.
  8. At approximately 23.45 I delivered an air burst on to my porcelain which also covered the underside of the seat. The offending article wasn't so much poo, but wind with lumps.

    I hope this knowledge helps you in your quest to be rehabilitated into society.
  9. Some people have to work on New Years Eve! How do you expect London to be kept safe and me to earn my pay cut this year? I am also on duty today though so I am going to spank the double time to make up for it. :p
  10. I just managed a kind of 10 inch cowpat style splatter, if you could scoop it up and put it in an icing bag you may be able to acheive about 20 - 30 inches - but I'm more concerned that I managed to clear off all the blow back as the bog was a bit shy on paper..
  11. Had a piss in my mates toilet drunk and didn't have the decency to wipe the piss that had gone on the seat after I had not bothered to lift the seat up (the one women sit on or the one you use for a sh1t) and also was staggering everywhere, was hard to aim.