Fantasy Defence Cuts

#1
What would you like to see consigned to the scrapheap instead of the usual mothballing of ships, merging of battalions, closing of units???

My choice would be to mothball the entire "corporate comms" sector (replicated on an individual Service basis!) that portrays a completely misleading image to the gullible public of a busy but happy military in which everything works well. There is a ridiculous variety of "in-house" publications that must cost a fortune which could be spent elsewhere.

We could make a bonfire of copies of Focus and dance around it!
 

Unknown_Quantity

War Hero
Moderator
#2
Have the defence secretary shot and replaced with an RSM :D

Also stop going to war for other people. :evil:
 
#3
Sack everyone at Glasgow and replace them with a payroll dept the same size as a civilian company would use - bet you there'd be a lot less. And we'd get paid on time.

Close all clothing stores and get one of the home shopping companies to deal with it. They've got more customers, offer 24 hour delivery and don't lose your details regularly.
 
#4
Disperse the RAF's responsibilities (maybe even keep some of the personnel) between often pre-existing equivalents in the Army.
 
#5
Fantasy cuts..............isnt that what the government are already doing ???? 8O
 

maninblack

LE
Book Reviewer
#6
Close Wyton, Bristol and the other defence procurement services and habd responsibility over to the services in a new, leaner procurement system with no tea drinkers and Times readers.
 
#7
bin trident and aldermaster keep a few nukes for old times sake if we really need one can always buy one off ebay :twisted:
 
#10
QMan9193 said:
Bring back puttees and DMS, much cheaper than Pro-boots.
Not as comfy though and a lot quicker to put on when you are getting out of your tent as fast as you can because there is shit everywhere and its coming on your direction.

Q?
 
#13
Puttees? Initial cost maybe, but just consider the savings in improvised bandages :)
 
#18
maninblack said:
Close Wyton, Bristol and the other defence procurement services and habd responsibility over to the services in a new, leaner procurement system with no tea drinkers and Times readers.
Why not just get rid of defence procurement full stop and buy off the shelf! We really can't do any worse than that bunch of in-bred mutant sheep shaaagers :? e.g. Apache, Chinooks, SA-80 etc, etc
 
E

error_unknown

Guest
#19
Dale The Snail said:
Not as comfy though and a lot quicker to put on when you are getting out of your tent as fast as you can because there is s*** everywhere and its coming on your direction.
Ha Ha Haaaaaa!

The only shite coming in your direction is:

a) when your mammoth flabby arrse deposits more poundage in the wc then its engineering can withstand and you experience extreme rectal matter re-bound

or:

b) when you've managed to drag a few dozen drunk blokes back from the bar, rubber sheets ready, 20p per man paid up, an orderly queue, and the hardsports begin...

You dirty minging basketcase bluffer...
 
#20
First of all stop paying members of the House of Commons (every time I meet an MP I am reminded why they are called members) it only encourages the wrong sort of chap to apply. That should solve 80% of the armies problems (indeed the countries' problems).

Secondly deal with the RAF. Fast jets to the Navy, helicopters to the Army and transport to someone competent. The saving in hotel bills and not having to pay for that horrible uniform should be enormous.

Thirdly find the people responsible for the new ten man ratpacks and hang draw and quarter them (no more than they deserve). Video the whole affair and show it to everyone involved in procurement once a week with the warning that unless they take heed they could be next.

Finally stop paying legal aid to ambulance chasing lawyers and give the money saved to the forces.
 

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