fancy dress....

#1
well tomorrow is the sqn smoker so everyone has to pay a set amount for a non-exemption pi55 up, complete with band and fancy dress...

I did a small wander around and asked what people will be attending as. I got the following replies:

Minnie Mouse
1980's rave chick
Suicide bomber
A Roman
About 50 more ladies
...and a turtle

What is it about this extremely hetrosexual job that makes blokes instantly think of dressing up like chicks on fancy dress nights?? Surely someone out there can give me some idea of a fancy dress that is well and truly stuck with you which i can adapt??

Preferably not involving harry black as the budget is low and i don't wanna pi55 the QM off when i turn up covered in 100m of the shi7!!
 
#2
Two white sheets sewn together, with card board on each side. Hole at top for head to go through, arms and leg holes. smear in red paint/dye, sew bits of curly cotton and lumps of bacon to it and go as a sanitary towel with wings, got me politely asked to leave.

Seal clubber is another good and easy one to do.
 
#3
Go as "Dick Emery" naked with sand paper around your cock.
 
#4
Mug tree? mate of mine got about 50 cheap plastic mugs tied onto string, wound them round himself, added a few twigs/branches...et voila......hilarious when dancing at a celidh :)
 
#5
I'm amazed that no one has mentioned the RE special yet.

Blag a Gunner's Mess Kit and say you've turned up as a Station Porter! :p

As a last resort there is always the clichéd Premature Ejaculation.
 
#9
Wear the issued laundry bag or 2 sown together and go as a Tea Bag
 
#10
I'm in a wheelchair and I went to a party wearing a pink cardboard hemisphere (half a ball) from my neck to the floor and a red bathing cap on my head. When asked what I was I was proud to reply, "A right tit!" :soldier:
 
#11
A few from my repertoire and all home made so cheap:

Tsunami victim
Glasgow Airport Bomber (Dr Singh Majeep)
Glasgow factory explosion victim
A mattress (cut into and climb in it, beware urine soak through) add stains for realism
Cowboy (dressed as a builder)
 
#12
julius ceaser is easy. bed sheet wrapped around you and a bin lid.

I completely forgot about fancy dress once, so I had to go as a member of the beatles. got my hair all combed, went in a black tux and cut a guitar shape out of a carboard box.

bruce willis is also easy as well. get a cheap white vest and rip it up a bit. get your face dirty, add some blood, share some blood on the vest, where jeans and black shoes / wear your boots and wahey you're bruce willis in die hard.
 
#13
Go in a pair of boxers and when asked what you've come as tell them " A premature ejaculation....i've come in my boxers" or get hold of a childs Shaun the Sheep rucksack, attach it to your crotch, wear a Wales tee shirt and go as a shepherd!
 
#15
As in Bottom, stick your c0ck in a vodka bottle & go as a Molotov Cocktail!
 
#16
bigbird67 said:
Go in a pair of boxers and when asked what you've come as tell them " A premature ejaculation....i've come in my boxers" or get hold of a childs Shaun the Sheep rucksack, attach it to your crotch, wear a Wales tee shirt and go as a shepherd!
Oi, what you trying to say about the Welsh? :lol:
 
#18
llech said:
bigbird67 said:
Go in a pair of boxers and when asked what you've come as tell them " A premature ejaculation....i've come in my boxers" or get hold of a childs Shaun the Sheep rucksack, attach it to your crotch, wear a Wales tee shirt and go as a shepherd!
Oi, what you trying to say about the Welsh? :lol:
Nothing....i AM Welsh :D
 
#19
bigbird67 said:
llech said:
bigbird67 said:
Go in a pair of boxers and when asked what you've come as tell them " A premature ejaculation....i've come in my boxers" or get hold of a childs Shaun the Sheep rucksack, attach it to your crotch, wear a Wales tee shirt and go as a shepherd!
Oi, what you trying to say about the Welsh? :lol:
Nothing....i AM Welsh :D
Oh I see, bitter experiance! :p
 
#20
You have no idea....the humiliation of being dumped for a sheep!!! Skinny bitch!! :x
 
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