Fancy dress party

Discussion in 'Sick Jokes' started by taxi11, Dec 3, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. A firm with a sense of humour, at last......
    >>
    >>
    >> A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy
    >> dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his
    >> wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.
    >>
    >> A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> Dear Sir,
    >>
    >> Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will
    >> cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right
    >> as a Pirate.
    >>
    >> The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he
    >> writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another
    >> parcel and note:
    >>
    >> Dear Sir,
    >>
    >> Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit.
    >> The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you
    >> will really look the part.
    >>
    >> The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company
    >> has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his
    >> bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few
    >> days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the
    >> accompanying
    >> letter:
    >>
    >> Dear Sir,
    >> Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup.
    >> We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head,
    >> stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple.
    >> Kind Regards Margaret
    >>
    >>
    >>
     
  2. A bloke turns up at a fancy dress party bollock naked, painted green and with a bandana across his eyes, with a woman on his back.
    The doorman asks who/what he's come as?

    "I'm a Ninja turtle" he says and, pointing to the bird on his back, adds "and this is Michelle".