fancy claiming some free benefits, advice please?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by sammym, May 6, 2013.

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  1. Right - after talking to a bloke in a pub I've decided I may as well claim some sort of benefits. I am at a significant disadvantage, as I work. However this guy reckons if you claim you have adhd or some other form of retardation you can get some money for nothing. Infact this hero got himself a disability car as he put in his kid has adhd.

    It all struck me as rubbish until I googled it, turns out mumsnet is an amazing source of information: Rates for child with adhd

    So anyone got any practicle advise on how I can get as much of my tax money back as possible.

    Lots of love and kisses. Sam
     
  2. It's true, loads of free money for looking after a kid even with controlled epilepsy.
     
  3. Taking advice "from a bloke in a pub" is akin to taking advice from anonymous dickheads on the interweb!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. I don't have any kids. But I sometimes have my niece when by brother is a bit busy or lazy. Can you please give me some proffessional advice, on what a youngish man can do to get the top rate please. I really really want a new Audi, but there is fuck all chance I am paying for it.
     
  5. Were ATOS involved in 2008?
     
  6. How the fuck would I know. I'm new to scrounging. But I am sure there are ways around the system. Have a look at what some of them are trying to claim on there for now...

    I have a full time job, and my son goes to school, but sometimes he wakes up at night so I should get the highest rate... I will never beat them so I want to join them.
     
  7. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Why not go ask there then?
     
  8. Suck me off.
     


  9. I'm banned. And if I posed the question the way I have here I would be banned again.​
     
  10. No - but if you provide me with the right information I will provide you with the telephone number of a reasonable looking bisexual bloke I know.
     
  11. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    At your generous 50p a BJ rate, he's going to be knackered well before he can even afford a new tyre let alone a whole car.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Wordsmith

    Wordsmith LE Book Reviewer

    Go to your nearest run down council estate. Look for an overweight, tattooed, scouse eyebrow'd , chain-smoking mum dressed in an expensive designer shell suit and trainers. She will have one kid in a pram and a small tribe of them following her. She is the local expert on how to claim benefits - although be prepared for a long complaint about how she doesn't get enough benefits and little Damien has had to go without his X-Box.

    The alternative is to try the local Citizen's Advice Bureaux, but they may not be so helpful with advice on how to fiddle the system.

    Wordsmith
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Wordsmith, it's a travesty that Damian has to go with out his Xbox ! I now have a tear in my eye!
     
    • Like Like x 2
  14. Yup... just go down your local DWP shop, with a biro stuffed each nostril, start bubling about "wibbles" and "Flat Earthers" persecuting you because you beleive that the Moon is made of Green cheese, tell the Geezer behind the counter that your not "Quite the ticket".... and hey presto, you willg et some Higher Rate DLA so you can buy cheep strong cyder and some waccy baccy....
     
    • Like Like x 1
  15. skid2

    skid2 LE Book Reviewer