Fancy a Christmas Break in Dorset

Discussion in 'Travel' started by thebutlerdidit, Dec 2, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. post removed
     
  2. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    It is early December and no other mug punter has booked it.

    Bring your own food and some blankets. You will be staying in a ******* barn in the arse end of nowhere

    A luke-warm soup of pubic hair and body fluid left by the mug punters who rented the gaff for Camp Bestival

    It used to be a mental hospital

    A DVD of The French Lieutenants Woman is in the left hand top kitchen drawer.

    Cheers fellow. I'll come back to you on that, yah?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Three ******* grand for a weekend in a barn?


    Are you taking the piss?
     
    • Like Like x 2
  4. Only £3k? must be a typo. Wish I had 14 friends,
     
  5. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Ah, come on Legs. It has a 'private pool'. In Dorset. In December. And it is only 15 minutes from the Jurassic Coast. Which is like the film Jurassic Park but with Southampton in it. Who could dream of more?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Bloody hell, I can remember when you could buy a house for that price, not rent it for the weekend. Does it come with a very large fridge full of booze and a couple of hookers thrown in? :?
     
  7. Its needs to have 4d TV with 24 on porn on also, so the birds can jump out at you and give you a complimentary nosh at that price........
     
  8. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    It has got a lovely tombstone as you go in.

    " Treat Axnoller as your own luxurious private home".

    For three grand for the weekend I'll treat it like a ******* burglary, thanks.

    shitbag fucking gaff.JPG
     
  9. "I want my guests to stay somewhere which is at least as good as, if not better, than home." FFS for 3k for a weekend I would want somewhere better than my hovel
     
  10. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Can I give you £300 and stay at your hovel? Have a ******* look.

    Anorexia.JPG

    They have dropped the ceiling and squashed in a cheap spiral staircase which completely cattles the entire room. Cheap down-lighters in the false ceiling and a ******* smoke detector. Cheap tiling done by people who were recently evicted from Dale Farm. Some cheap jars on the mantelpiece and what the **** is going on with that green ornament on the spidery table by the window? The **** use is that? A writing desk? Oh, and a pink wrought iron banquette thing on the left. In case faggots come to stay. Because they like pink, eh?

    ******* horrible shambles knocked together by the developers bird because she went to art college and has 'an eye'.

    If the owners wish to pay me £3,000 I can probably arrange to have the gaff torched so they can claim the insurance and start again?

    Edit - their Twitter page is ******* priceless. Twitter
     
  11. Here's my hovel, it could pass as a s**d
     

    Attached Files:

  12. Three Grand? I paid £350 for two weeks slumming it in a top notch villa in Bulgaria with 5 other peeps.

    Oh, and there are still 2 places left. All you need to pay for is flights, scoff and alkymahol.

    Three ******* grand. Have a word.
     
  13. Went to Pamparovo for Xmas several years ago. Four adults and two kids, excellent four bed apartment,£500 for a week.Skiing/drinking, owner of a good restaurant laid on transport to his gaff, after a couple of bottles, wine was on the house.Every day, a man trekked up through the snow with fuel for the log-burner.Gleaming.
     
  14. Bowmore_Assassin

    Bowmore_Assassin LE Moderator Book Reviewer

    Fancy a Christmas Break in Dorset ?

    No.
     
  15. Where exactly is Dorset, pray?