Family Feud Over Who Can Bury Soldier

#4
"The agency says it has to release her husband's body to his mother because she was named as executor in his will."

His old dear apparently. He should have changed his will when he got married by the looks of it.
 

Auld-Yin

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#5
"The agency says it has to release her husband's body to his mother because she was named as executor in his will."

His old dear apparently. He should have changed his will when he got married by the looks of it.
Surely the executor is there to oversee the estate and must follow the advice of the NOK as to burial, not to make the decisions themselves and also to suit themselves? Executor does not mean inheritor so the executor has the role of ensuring the wishes of the deceased are followed. Now, as the deceased obviously can't speak for himself then the executor should surely take instruction from the widow?

Mind you, being buried is probably the only valid reason for going to Methil.
 
#6
Surely the executor is there to oversee the estate and must follow the advice of the NOK as to burial, not to make the decisions themselves and also to suit themselves? Executor does not mean inheritor so the executor has the role of ensuring the wishes of the deceased are followed. Now, as the deceased obviously can't speak for himself then the executor should surely take instruction from the widow?
This is my understanding also.
 
#7
If they're going to go the 'undignified' route of arguing over his remains, why not cremate him and split the ashes?
 
#8
This is my understanding also.
Just done a brief bit of reading. Apparently the Executor should help the NOK with details etc, but not dictate, unless something specific is set out in the will.

So, it looks like the NOK should be the decision maker.
 

seaweed

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#9
In ENGLISH law, marriage cancels any existing will unless its wording shows it was made in anticipation of marriage.
 
#10
Sounds more like a suitable group of RSMs (say AcSM, Lond Dist and IBS) needs to pop around and get them both in a headlock, explain the craic and get the lad buried in a dignified fashion.
 
#12
In ENGLISH law, marriage cancels any existing will unless its wording shows it was made in anticipation of marriage.
Agree I thought this as well...it must be hard for both parties and I hope something can be sorted pretty sharpish with a compromise. If this had happened with me i would of automatically thought Spouse/ Next of Kin would of automatically been in charge.
 
#13
Just done a brief bit of reading. Apparently the Executor should help the NOK with details etc, but not dictate, unless something specific is set out in the will.

So, it looks like the NOK should be the decision maker.
Just hoping the executor is NOT a beneficiary, otherwise everybody is****ed - the Probate Registrar gets involved.
 
#14
Sad story, i have just completed the long winded task of being the executor for the estate of the late father in law, which due to its complexity went to probate.

As others have stated the executor is there simply to ensure that the wishes of the deceased are complied with, having firstly ensured that all taxes, debts and other liabilities have been settled, unless he/she has been tasked with funeral arrangements specifically then my understanding would be that the NOK would be the person responsible for the arrangements, unless the jockinese have a different law?
 
#15
Looking at the internet (dangerous, I know) it appears that the executor may have primacy over the NoK. A number of sites from Solicitors refer to the executor being responsible for making the arrangements and paying for the funeral out of the value of the estate before distributing the residual assets. Looking at the press coverage this appears to be the basis of the MoD's decision. However, I note the Solicitors for the widow are saying Scottish law may be different to that in England.

It is a terrible shame that the family cannot agree over the arrangements
 
#16
It seems that times like this either tighten a family, or split it. For the mother and wife of a dead son and husband to be at loggerheads is horrendous. Until I got married my old man was NOK, after the wedding, Mrs Chef took over.

I hope they sort it out, but I can't see them being mates afterwards, when its needed. I wish them well.
 
#17
Surely it,s simple, wife tells Ma, listen you, me and your son were wife and husband, so keep your nose out and dont interfere, and thems the rules, end of.
 
#18
Below is the advice I have used in similar cases in England

The policy in most NHS trusts is to ask you to nominate

your next of kin formally on your admission to hospital.

However if you are unable to say, because for example

you are unconscious, they will try to work out who

is the person closest to you. They may get this wrong,

particularly if your personal circumstances are confusing

or "unusual" (for example, if you consider your best friend

to be your next of kin, rather than your dad).

Despite popular myth there are no rules about who can

and cannot be your next of kin. You can nominate your

partner, a member of your family, or a good friend. For

some people, who to choose as your next of kin may

be obvious, others may need to consider it carefully.

Before you complete the form, you should discuss

your decision with the person you have chosen. Make

sure that they are willing to be treated as your next of

kin for medical purposes and they understand what it

involves

If you were to die, your next of kin would

be consulted about issues such as making funeral

arrangements or a hospital post-mortem.

Your next of kin cannot consent or refuse consent

to treatment on your behalf (nobody can do that).

But they can let doctors know what decisions they

believe you would make if you were able to.

A next of kin has no legal liabilities, rights to your

medical notes, or personal possessions. Nominating

a next of kin does not affect who will inherit from you

if you die.
 
#19
Crikey. I've heard of Mother-in-Law / Daughter-in-Law bust-ups, but this takes the Huntley and Palmers. I can't comment on the points of law involved, whether England & Wales or Scotland; I would hope this is something which can be resolved without mudslinging and public exhibition.
 
#20
Sadly, after a year and a half after the soldier's death, this still appears unresolved.

I'd be happy to be proved wrong and to learn that he has been finally laid to rest, but there is still no indication of a funeral having taken place.

Certainly at the time of the court-martial of his alleged assailant in July 2012, it was reported that Pte Connolly's remains were still in a mortuary in London.

His entry in the National Roll of Honour is strangely lacking in detail- The entry just consists of his name. No service (Army), rank, unit or any other details. I've not seen an entry like that before.

CONNOLLY John Francis Gdsm SCOTS GUARDS Army
CONNOLLY Julian Patrick Sgt UDR Army
CONNOLLY Kevin James Maj LIFE GUARDS Army
CONNOLLY Mark
CONNOLLY Patrick James SLt HMS Eagle Royal Navy
CONNOLLY Paul Justin Sgt REME Army
The argument over his funeral must have caused and likely still causing, untold grief and friction.
 
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