Family Death Protocol

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by cpunk, Nov 30, 2005.

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  1. cpunk

    cpunk LE Moderator

    The lovely Mrs cpunk has just phoned, in tears, to say that her mother is not expected to live much more than 48 hours. At what point is it considered tactful for me to go out on a celebratory lash up?
  2. I would suggest an immediate start. Poor dear will be distraught for a few days so get it in while you can and leave her sisters to pick up the mess.
  3. For Shame,For Shame.She does not yet lie in Death's cold embrace

    {how could you be sure you had something to celebrate?} :)
  4. you havent started already - shame on u sir - would also suggest watching celebrity strictly come mincing or whatever - u can learn some nifty dance steps for the grave from there.
  5. As soon as you got off the phone with your wife you should have put on 'Gonna make you Sweat' by C&C music factory. Turn the volume knob to 11 and get jiggy to 'EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!'
  6. Christmas has truly come early to your house CP, you must have been REALLY good to deserve a gift like that. Have you got any fireworks left over from the 5th?
  7. Now

    And if anything comes back your way you can use the simple excuse of I got upset sitting in the house thinking about it all so i went to the pub to take my mind off it.

    Although not entirely sure if this will cover you dancing on the pool table with 3 barmaids.
  8. Go now, and tell Mrs cpunk that due to the exceptional bad news she has imparted to you, that
    you just had to go and drown your sorrow's at the bad news. Try not to sound too happy when
    telling her.
  9. Whats your plan if she makes a dramatic recovery ?
  10. Tsk, there's always a pessimist...

    cpunk, do you have a bottle of port you've been saving for a special occasion? :D
  11. Just dont give the game away mate. Tell her the party poppers are BATSIMS and the beer is for a company do! Why not tottaly rub it in by taking a card board cut out of the soon to be snuffed out on the piss up with you
  12. Got into trouble when my wife said her sister was ill and i said i hoped it was nothing minor
  13. On the other hand, the au pair just might be amenable to a sympathetic hoop-rifling from a suitably distraught chickenpunk in an effort to cheer him up? Selection and maintenance of the aim is the key here.