Falklands and Ascension


Kit Reviewer
Dear All,
A friend of mine in Crab Air reckons that he'll be able to get me and the missus some indulgence flights to the Falklands. Questions are
1) Is it an old Crab Air Tristar that flies the route with its 1970's seats, 1970's Ginsters pasties and the ugliest stewardesses this side of the Belorussian border. I heard some wierd stuff about Air Seychelles operating the route from Brize. I assume they offer modern seats and in flight entertainment rather than a packing crate in the back of a C-130 offered by Crab Air.
2) Getting bumped from flights is notorious, time will be tight. I'll be travelling as a Civvy but could always put my Army Uniform and use the MOD 90. Does this mean that I'm less likely to be bumped, or more likely to be jiffed for bulling the tires or something before take off, and then being bumped.
3) It stops off in Ascension. Is there any point whatsoever in getting off the plane for anything other than a smoke, a leg stretch and a funky passport stamp that nobody else will have. Looks a fairly boring place. WTF is there to do on Ascension? Will the health Nazis let me have a smoke and a leg stretch.
4) If there is something to do in Ascension, are there any more flights than the twice weekly ones that go on to the Falklands.
5) Ascension is only available to Serving Military or unless you've got a farking good reason (you want to mollest Green Turtles or are a Yank Astronaut), will the fact that my other 1/2 is a Fiance be enough to let her have a look at the crashed UFO's and Rudolp Hess's new hush hush prison that are obviously kept in such a secret military base?
6) If it all goes pear shaped, is LAN the only other option off the Falkland Islands?
Indulgence is going to be tricky while they are resurfacing the runway, yes it's air seychelles and you are still packed like sardines if it's a busy flight! You go into a caged area in Ascension, there is nowhere else to go, you dont stay long anyway.


Kit Reviewer
Thanks Acrab
Can you smoke in the caged area in Ascension?
Air Seychelles - Assume in flight movies et all?

Does anybody know any of the other answers?

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