Faking Your Orgasm

#1
Am I the only "gentleman" who has ever spent an eventful hour or two with a beauty challenged lady? Been on the job for several hours with no sign of the special time on the horizon, take my tip, spit on her nipsy.
Obviously you then have to make all the relevant noises and twitches but by using this method you can kick the tubby lass out without hurting her feelings.
 
#2
jobsworth said:
Am I the only "gentleman" who has ever spent an eventful hour or two with a beauty challenged lady? Been on the job for several hours with no sign of the special time on the horizon, take my tip, spit on her nipsy.
Obviously you then have to make all the relevant noises and twitches but by using this method you can kick the tubby lass out without hurting her feelings.

You care about her feelings?

Gay.
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
I tried it once! Doesn't work to well with a blow job.
 
#4
jobsworth said:
Am I the only "gentleman" who has ever spent an eventful hour or two with a beauty challenged lady? Been on the job for several hours with no sign of the special time on the horizon, take my tip, spit on her nipsy.
Obviously you then have to make all the relevant noises and twitches but by using this method you can kick the tubby lass out without hurting her feelings.
When sh@gging a gopper I simply inject warm lard from a syringe at the crucil moment.
 
#5
Why bother? as the saying goes ' he/she who comes first wins' ....on your marks people! :D
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#6
~Epiphany~ said:
Why bother? as the saying goes ' he/she who comes first wins' ....on your marks people! :D
Ah, but to a gentleman, the lady always comes first!
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#7
old_fat_and_hairy said:
~Epiphany~ said:
Why bother? as the saying goes ' he/she who comes first wins' ....on your marks people! :D
Ah, but to a gentleman, the lady always comes first!
That's because by the time you have managed to get a lob on she has finished herself off.
 
#8
old_fat_and_hairy said:
~Epiphany~ said:
Why bother? as the saying goes ' he/she who comes first wins' ....on your marks people! :D
Ah, but to a gentleman, the lady always comes first!
Bloody hell! You mean there's actually a man out there who realises women have orgasms too?? :omg:
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#9
Wishful_Thinking said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
~Epiphany~ said:
Why bother? as the saying goes ' he/she who comes first wins' ....on your marks people! :D
Ah, but to a gentleman, the lady always comes first!
Bloody hell! You mean there's actually a man out there who realises women have orgasms too?? :omg:
New one on me!!
 
#10
That i'd like to see! a man who realises women get something out of sex too (im not talking about a dose!!!! b4 n e 1 jumps in! lol!) nah just kiddin, but lets face it if you * a pig, who cares? :twisted:
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#11
B_AND_T said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
~Epiphany~ said:
Why bother? as the saying goes ' he/she who comes first wins' ....on your marks people! :D
Ah, but to a gentleman, the lady always comes first!
That's because by the time you have managed to get a lob on she has finished herself off.
And thats bad how? I like spectator sports, and always willing to learn from a woman.
 
#12
Wishful_Thinking said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
~Epiphany~ said:
Why bother? as the saying goes ' he/she who comes first wins' ....on your marks people! :D
Ah, but to a gentleman, the lady always comes first!
Bloody hell! You mean there's actually a man out there who realises women have orgasms too?? :omg:
Behave. It was clearly a typo.























...it should have read, "lady-boy."
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#13
fas_et_gloria said:
Wishful_Thinking said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
~Epiphany~ said:
Why bother? as the saying goes ' he/she who comes first wins' ....on your marks people! :D
Ah, but to a gentleman, the lady always comes first!
Bloody hell! You mean there's actually a man out there who realises women have orgasms too?? :omg:
Behave. It was clearly a typo.























...it should have read, "lady-boy."
At my age, the difference is minimal.And unimportant.
 
#14
Moodybitch said:
jobsworth said:
Am I the only "gentleman" who has ever spent an eventful hour or two with a beauty challenged lady? Been on the job for several hours with no sign of the special time on the horizon, take my tip, spit on her nipsy.
Obviously you then have to make all the relevant noises and twitches but by using this method you can kick the tubby lass out without hurting her feelings.

You care about her feelings?

Gay.
Moody,
I would care about your feelings, primarily around your turdcutter. As I am pushing the back eight inches in.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
What utter b0llocks! Can't have an orgasm? CAN'T HAVE AN ORGASM?!? I only have to look at a shrubbery and I've smegged me kecks. What's the matter with you? Go and see a doctor.

(and no, none of the women I've ever shagged have had orgasms, which means they don't, end of).
 
#16
jobsworth said:
Moodybitch said:
jobsworth said:
Am I the only "gentleman" who has ever spent an eventful hour or two with a beauty challenged lady? Been on the job for several hours with no sign of the special time on the horizon, take my tip, spit on her nipsy.
Obviously you then have to make all the relevant noises and twitches but by using this method you can kick the tubby lass out without hurting her feelings.

You care about her feelings?

Gay.
Moody,
I would care about your feelings, primarily around your turdcutter. As I am pushing the back eight inches in.
Dream on. I wouldn't give the time of day, let alone my arse, to someone who can't even nail a fatty properly.
 
#17
Moody, bearing in mind I am fairly old fashioned and ill informed about lady gardens could you please tell me, the clitoris, is that the bit that looks like a budgie's tongue?

Do girls fart when they come?
 
#18
I always find that if you fake it and then go down on her, you can convince her that the lack of evidence is because you swallowed it.
 
#20
Ok, I am niave. Does your, you know, thingy cl i toris look like a budgie's tongue. I know a lad whose mate's uncle has had you and said yours looks like a pygmies engorged cokc
 
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