Fake titles

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by SpottyDog, Sep 28, 2006.

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  1. Several days ago was in the pub chatting to a group mostly made up of friends of friends, don't know them at all really but one of them handed me one of those 'business cards' that aren't really business cards at all, but excuses for people to print their contact details and try to look important.

    Anyway, it has the title 'Laird of Kincavel' on it, I had no idea this bloke was titled or anything so googled it and this comes up:


    Question - how much of a tube would you have to be to:
    a) Buy a yard of land and pretend that makes you a titled landowner, surely if Rab C Nesbitt had joined the Buy Your Council House scheme that too would make him a laird?
    b) Actually print it out on business cards when all its got on is your email address and a distinctly dodgy technicolour crest on?
    c) Hand said cards out to people you barely know???.

    There is something extremely walt-ish about this kind of behaviour.
  2. Well walt-ish... don't suppose by any comic stroke of coincidence the person in question was also a tubs lardy (Laird-y) were they?

  3. Used to work with someone who had purchaced a title.

    He was, initially, very tounge-in-cheek about it but eventually had his driving licence etc. Altered to reflect his "status". He said it was for the purpose of "pulling".

    Sad thing about it is..... It worked, to an extent.
  4. Damn I thought it said tities
  5. Getting a title for purchasing a pocket hanky's worth of Scotland??

    Now that's class.. much better than buying up a whole acre or more to get an Irish Lordship [ as two of my -erm - aquaintenances have done ].

    Also on the market for anyone interested are some 'derelict' or ' unclaimed ' Spanish titles and become some dodgy Eastern European baron, etc..
    [In best Count Dracula accent ] Velcome, I am Count Petrov Sigoursky of SmellofGravia...

    At one time you could pick up a defunct Italian ' title ' for some small bills..

    Seems its mostly Americans and Japanese who get a kick out of these claims to nobility, doubt they'll ever get an invite to tea with Her Majesty or approval for their armourial bearings from the Lord Lyon.

    There was a bit back a legitimate Scottish title for sale.. If you bought one of the outer islands , it came with a ruined castle, about 50 tenant farmer/shepherds and a title..you had to put up with harsh Atlantic winds and only once a week ferry service, but.. for the chance to ponce around in a kilt and scream al a Mel Gibson.. " Freedom! " on your own real piece of' heaven '.. hey...
  6. There's a bloke who works with me who did that, bought a Lordship or something from somewhere and had to go to our HQ for a meeting, phoned up etc to suss out timings and said it was Lord ********* coming for a meeting, when he got down there they'd laid on the red carpet treatment etc for him thinking it was a pukka Lord, to say they weren't happy is an understatement. Fair play to him tho, he got a good buffet out of it!
  7. The solution is for all Arrsers to buy land on the same estate.

    So if some tool hands you a business card saying that they're 'Laird of Kincavel' you can hand them one back and say.. "that's good, so am I"
  8. Maybe someone can help me with this....

    I heard that some titles were bonded exclusively to the whole estate. For example if you bought an estate it came with a legimate title that was bonded to that estate, so you were allowed to call yourself Lord/Lady XXXX but if you sold the estate to someone else they took on the title and you were no longer allowed to use it. Any ideas??

  9. Should learn how to read then you fcuking idiot.
  10. http://www.faketitles.com/index.html

    "You cannot purchase a genuine British title, with one exception, the feudal title of a Scottish baron; and certainly cannot buy a peerage title"
  11. Well at least it is a damn sight cheaper than making a donation to the Labour Party.
  12. In England, "proper" titles are passed by blood, not land, as they are the gift of the monarch. These deals are selling old feudal titles that are completely irrelevant and not recognised by the Collages of Arms. In other words, buying a title in England, technically, gives you the right to term yourself Joe Bloggs, Lord of the Manor of X (or Lord of X??? Uncertain), but NOT Lord Bloggs of X.

    In addition, you are NOT entitled to be included in Debretts, the Whos Who etc and the title does pass on if you sell the land.

    I believe that it may be slightly different in Scotland.
  13. A while ago, I wrote about one James Short, know known as the Baron Castleshortt, who bought a title. Here he is in his rig as the commander of the Royal Gallowglass, exposes by our own "gallowglass" who is no relation

    see HERE

    here he is in all his finery, looking like a general in the Royal Irish Regiment

    He is a great inspitation to us all, even once having claimed to another arrser that he was es SAS.

    He inspired me to create my own online Regiment, which many of you joined, in the true spirit of arrse, still recruiting, please click HERE and tell your walty mate to join up asap
  14. Once bought the significant other a piece of land in the Carribean. Always nice to know you "own" real estate somewhere nice!!

    Only for a laugh though wouldn't want to be the Laird of a square foot of the highlands.

    12th Earl of DunRoamin
  15. I really don’t like you, you insufferable blot on the snatch of humanity.
    quick! To the cupboard for your light sabre, and lets start a tinternet fight, prikc!