Fainting and Bathroom Breaks (or should that be toilet breaks)?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by pond boy, Apr 29, 2011.

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  1. My first post (and last, probably) but I'm a visitor here, travelling through and spent today watching in awe the fantastic display at the wedding in London. It lived up to all I had expected, for sure.

    Massively impressed by how disciplined the royal troops were (unlike us yanks! lol).

    I'm probably asking in wrong forum but I was fascinated by the article below from a few days back.

    Royal Wedding guardsman faints during parade rehearsals, tailor steps in to help | Mail Online

    Please tell me it's not true that those guys have to learn to fall properly!

    And what about the comments about bathroom breaks from the two Scots Guards about halfway down the article (I love that name - Guardsman Bryce Pounder, he's got to be from somewhere like Dallas!!).

    Puddles on the floor!!?

    Seriously guys - is any of that stuff really true?
  2. I was taught to come to attention and fall forwards, no other instructions. Whoever is in charge of the section will appoint two people to come and pick you up under each armpit, carrying you off to the guard room at buckingham palace, your boots that you have spent months polishing will be completely destroyed in approximately 30 seconds, I think this is a major deterrent to getting drunk the night before(dehydration etc) a couple of pints no more, proper breakfast, and a good piss as late as possible, sorted.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. No you don't have to faint in a certain way, you'll only get charged if they can prove fainting was self inflicted because of being pissed etc.

    If you need a piss and cant hold it you piss your pants

    sent from my HTC Wildfire, so I probably should be working
  4. We used to have to bull the insole of our boots incase we fainted on parade (non guards)just to show we had clean boots
  5. A long time ago you were most certainly encouraged to faint in a certain way. Two hours on stag in front of Buckingham Palace, feet going numb standing still, go for a walk, this was my introduction to the left about turn. The guard must always face away from the palace. Exceptional circumstances, go and knock on the guard door, and return to post. You will be visited.
  6. You can always tell when people are piling in on the Troop and things like that as you'll see three blokes bunched together with the guy in the middle looking like he's in wrag order, the two either side are normally holding onto him so he doesn't pile in.
  7. Some of the Scots guards told me that if you face plant while still at attention its looked on more favourably than if you put out your arms out or just crumple to the floor.
  8. wow, some amazing pictures in that collection, especially picture number 16 - incredible, and pretty awesome photography too.

    cheers for the comments, guys.

    hey, have any of you had a look at this?

    BBC News - Royal wedding: Spot yourself in our hi-def crowd picture

    I've spent ages zooming in and out all over and seeing some amazing close-up shots. What a great piece of technology!

    Haven't seen any face-plants but I haven't done any close-ups of the guardsmen's boots either to check for puddles (I assume that bit was a joke, surely??)
  9. Nope, I know plenty of people who've pissed themselves whilst doing Trooping the Colour, apparently wet tweeds chafe like fuck
  10. When I was working as a staff nurse in accident and emergency at Westminster Hospital we had a lady American toursit brought in with a Guardsman's fracture. She got up in the night to go to the loo and forgot the window was open (French window type) and fell out the window about 6' onto a flat roof. She broke her jaw where the lower jaw articulates with the upper jaw. The Casulty Officer told her it wa known as a Guardsman's fracture because when they faint they go down face first. She wasn't amused but I was
  11. I was told this by an ex-Life Guards' Corporal of Horse who was part of HM's Coronation.

    Apparently after escorting the soon to be HM to the Abbey, the LG were stood down somewhere round the back of the Abbey in close proximity to an open pub whilst the actual ceremony took place. They necked about 4 pints apiece, and were then called back to mount up.

    He said that 4 pints on a trot (do they do a rising trot? I've never thought to notice) is not good, but luckily their breeches are made of buckskin and so waterproof - a lot of jack boots were emptied when they got back to the barracks.
  12. Pond boy are you the poster that has a few usernames wanting stories about men pissing themselves so you can wank yourself senseless? Fuck off dirty cunt.
  13. the_boy_syrup

    the_boy_syrup LE Book Reviewer

    Heard similer from a mate of mine
    There are pubs in London were they have drinking watering right whilst riding round London
    Heard a story from a lad who got pissed the night before the Trooping of the colour and slept in
  14. Dont know about that, but when I did my basic training with the Colonial Police, we used to have a passing out parade once a month where the senior squad passed out so I attended 4 of these events together with the various training parades as I progressed through basic training! At the time we were issued with the old Lee Enfield .303 together with an 8 inch bayonet! It could get bloody hot standing out on the parade ground at attention in Africa and a few guys did go down in various attitudes from face smack to crumpling on the spot. The worst was where one poor sod crumpled whilst at attention, he slid down his rifle and skewered his right armpit on the fixed bayonet!
    To avoid fainting there were various things you could do to keep the blood moving, wriggling your toes, fingers, eyebrows, scalp etc, breathing deeply, clenching & unclenching your teeth, buttocks & stomach, trying to not draw attention to yourself from one of the eagle eyed drill instructors, all of whom were ex British Army and at least one ex Coldstream Guardsman! I felt myself going on my penultimate passing out parade and using these tricks kept me up long enough to receive the order to right turn & quick march along with the rest of my Squad! The rest of my squad said I had been swaying like a sapling in a gale!
    The Chief Drill Instructor (formerly an RSM with a British Infantry Regiment) actually praised me afterwards for not going down, how he spotted it I dont know as he was in front of the parade facing the other way, so it must be true RSM's have eyes in the back of their heads :)!
    Oh & for those wondering why a Policeman was doing arms drill, this was the Colonial Police in Africa in 1960, we were a paramilitary force who were trained with .303's, Bren Guns, Sterling 9 m/m sub M/c guns, 2 inch riot guns (for firing tear gas & flares), 12 G Greener shotguns & issued with a .38 Webley & Scott pistols for personal use! Our basic training lasted four & a half months, where apart from foot & arms drill we did training in Law, one of the local languages, Police regulations & proceedures & first aid!