Failed at Saving a Friend -I Think...

#1
Went to a friend's house, not so much of a visit as an intervention/rescue attempt...

Pal used to be pretty cool, but he fell for a skinny babe with big hooters, who was not into bars and drinking, about 5 years ago [ second marriage ] and ' settled down '... she was a vegetarian/health nut/earth saving type.. we warned him but he was sucked to the dark side..

Lost track of him and saw him once this year out of some guilt/nostalgia thing...so there I was ' at dinner'... bloody hell!!.. turns out the missus has become a full on ' vegan '!!. No real f**kin' food.. Tofurkey, ffs!! I could see the look on my pal's face..and, his kid.. the poor lad looked like something from the Omen/Village of the Damned.. all pale faced, sunken eyes, emaciated.. I just knew he was yearning for a double cheese burger...

Couldn't trick - er- convince- the wifey to ' release ' the kid, but sprung the boyo and we headed out for 'drinks'.. went straight to the nearest Burger King and helped him down some king-sized meat burgers...never saw a guy look so happy...just to help out I downed a brace of kids' meals so I could get the toys and we took them back to the lad and snuck them into him at bedtime...

was a good feeling to see him snuggled up with his movie tie-in crap, sniffing the scent of flame broiled burger/fries from the little plastic bags.

Missus was going 'round sniffing suspiciously, but I managed to deflect her by producing a bottle of the Burger King scent for men [ smells like flame broiled meat ] they were flogging at the counter, [think it'll end up in the trash before morning.....]

Not sure I did a good deed as I think there was to be some 'discussion' at bedtime, but I left well before that came up.

sometimes there's only so much a guy can do.. I'm not Jim Short[t] after all...
 
#3
Good lad and they say the spirit of xmas is dead !
 
#5
No greater love hath man than this
That he lay down his Big Mac for his friend.
 
#7
Yeh - good work. Vegans appear to make a living out of denial and suffering, now freegans I have respect for.
 
#8
Here is a list of famous veggies:


Banks, Tony,
Benn, Tony
Clarke, Alan
Fischer, Joschka Germany
Franklin, Benjamin (1706-1790) USA
Gandhi, Mohandas Karamchand (1869-1948) India
Hitler, Adolf (1889-1945) Germany
Jefferson, Tomas USA (1743-1826)
Mc Cartney, Linda (1941-98) USA/UK
Merchant, Piers UK
More, Sir Thomas ?? (1478-1535) UK
Weatherall, Bernard UK

Top them all, or make them eat tripe before it's too late!
 
#9
Rocketeer said:
Went to a friend's house, not so much of a visit as an intervention/rescue attempt...
quote]

You're not the only one!

I'm just back in London, popped in to see my best mate..... only to find out he has turned into a fecking veggie! Yes I did take the piss all evening. I feel betrade that he has not told me sooner. He is off for a new year trip to India to some yoga cult for new year.
No Booze
No Meat
No Milk
No Cheese
No fecking sex!!!!

I have packed so chocolate in his bag and told him to trade them for sexual favours from the women on the yoga cult.
Sounds like a shite holiday to me, I blame his veggie, tee total female flate mate.

I need to plan a steak attack, side order of booze and loose bird for when he comes back.
 
T

trowel

Guest
#10
Sod him, LVH. Anyone weak enough to be influenced by the type of creature that you describe as his flatmate is not worth the effort.
 
#11
trowel said:
Sod him, LVH. Anyone weak enough to be influenced by the type of creature that you describe as his flatmate is not worth the effort.
I've known him 24 years. 6 months ago he was wolfing down steaks left right and centre. I don't know what the feck happened!
 
T

trowel

Guest
#12
Saw much the same sort of thing happen to a girl I knew several years ago. She took up with a skinny pasty freak who lived on tofu and root vegetables. Within 6 months she had gone from a lively, bright young women to something that needed hospital treatment. She never was the same again.
 
#15
LordVonHarley said:
trowel said:
Sod him, LVH. Anyone weak enough to be influenced by the type of creature that you describe as his flatmate is not worth the effort.
I've known him 24 years. 6 months ago he was wolfing down steaks left right and centre. I don't know what the feck happened!
Obvious. He got cuntstruck.

Slip her some rohypnol then let him do her 16 ways from Sunday while she's sparkers. Leave her in a pool of semen and with a gash like a blood-drenched Channel Tunnel and he'll be back wolfing dead things quick as winking.

There's an outside chance it'll cure her as well, and if not you can always bang one up her yourself and blame it on him if the cops call. Game, set and match.
 
#16
Meat is there for man. i used to have a veggy girl friend that was so picky she only used to eat quarn pasta and potatos. dinner was so boring i learned to cook really tasty foods just to piss her off.

still cant remember why i left her though lol
 

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