Failed at Saving a Friend -I Think...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Dec 28, 2008.

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  1. Went to a friend's house, not so much of a visit as an intervention/rescue attempt...

    Pal used to be pretty cool, but he fell for a skinny babe with big hooters, who was not into bars and drinking, about 5 years ago [ second marriage ] and ' settled down '... she was a vegetarian/health nut/earth saving type.. we warned him but he was sucked to the dark side..

    Lost track of him and saw him once this year out of some guilt/nostalgia there I was ' at dinner'... bloody hell!!.. turns out the missus has become a full on ' vegan '!!. No real f**kin' food.. Tofurkey, ffs!! I could see the look on my pal's face..and, his kid.. the poor lad looked like something from the Omen/Village of the Damned.. all pale faced, sunken eyes, emaciated.. I just knew he was yearning for a double cheese burger...

    Couldn't trick - er- convince- the wifey to ' release ' the kid, but sprung the boyo and we headed out for 'drinks'.. went straight to the nearest Burger King and helped him down some king-sized meat burgers...never saw a guy look so happy...just to help out I downed a brace of kids' meals so I could get the toys and we took them back to the lad and snuck them into him at bedtime...

    was a good feeling to see him snuggled up with his movie tie-in crap, sniffing the scent of flame broiled burger/fries from the little plastic bags.

    Missus was going 'round sniffing suspiciously, but I managed to deflect her by producing a bottle of the Burger King scent for men [ smells like flame broiled meat ] they were flogging at the counter, [think it'll end up in the trash before morning.....]

    Not sure I did a good deed as I think there was to be some 'discussion' at bedtime, but I left well before that came up.

    sometimes there's only so much a guy can do.. I'm not Jim Short[t] after all...
  2. God bless you Sir!
  3. Good lad and they say the spirit of xmas is dead !
  4. You want to wear one of these next time you go round....

    Attached Files:

  5. No greater love hath man than this
    That he lay down his Big Mac for his friend.
  6. Good man, Good man!
  7. Yeh - good work. Vegans appear to make a living out of denial and suffering, now freegans I have respect for.
  8. Here is a list of famous veggies:

    Banks, Tony,
    Benn, Tony
    Clarke, Alan
    Fischer, Joschka Germany
    Franklin, Benjamin (1706-1790) USA
    Gandhi, Mohandas Karamchand (1869-1948) India
    Hitler, Adolf (1889-1945) Germany
    Jefferson, Tomas USA (1743-1826)
    Mc Cartney, Linda (1941-98) USA/UK
    Merchant, Piers UK
    More, Sir Thomas ?? (1478-1535) UK
    Weatherall, Bernard UK

    Top them all, or make them eat tripe before it's too late!
  10. Sod him, LVH. Anyone weak enough to be influenced by the type of creature that you describe as his flatmate is not worth the effort.
  11. I've known him 24 years. 6 months ago he was wolfing down steaks left right and centre. I don't know what the feck happened!
  12. Saw much the same sort of thing happen to a girl I knew several years ago. She took up with a skinny pasty freak who lived on tofu and root vegetables. Within 6 months she had gone from a lively, bright young women to something that needed hospital treatment. She never was the same again.
  14. Next time I'm at their flat I'll wear this

  15. Obvious. He got cuntstruck.

    Slip her some rohypnol then let him do her 16 ways from Sunday while she's sparkers. Leave her in a pool of semen and with a gash like a blood-drenched Channel Tunnel and he'll be back wolfing dead things quick as winking.

    There's an outside chance it'll cure her as well, and if not you can always bang one up her yourself and blame it on him if the cops call. Game, set and match.