F**King Hollywood At It Again...

Discussion in 'Films, Music and All Things Artsy' started by Rocketeer, May 9, 2005.

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  1. Just read a ' bit' that the Americans are doing a re-imagining ' [ remake ] of a classic Brit film [ cause the Americans couldn't understand what the original was all about ]...

    For some reason they think that they can transfer the story from Scotland to Maine and make it work..

    For F**k sake they're re-doing the Wickerman!!!

    Edward Woodward and Christopher Lee were brilliant , the film was chilling and unsettling and Britt Ekland was nekkid!!.. what more could one want?

    well the beancounters in the boardrooms figure they can go one better.. Have changed the story from a Scot Cop to New England Sheriff and cast Nicholas Cage in the Woodward role..

    crime against humanity... The origional was so effective because it tied into all the prepressed Calvinism/ free Kirk and the ancient Celtic Druid thing..
    how the hell all that can be ' reworked' to fit Born Again vs. what?' I'll never know...

    Crap , crap and more crap from no brainer acccountants from LaLa Land..who see making a buck as taking precedence over original thinking and leaving well enough alone.. thousands of scripts sitting in filing cabinets and hundreds of good books published each year and they got to dust off perfection and dumb it down for the popcorn set at the multiplex..


    [ nurse increases Isle of Jura drip and Rocketeer begins to calm down ... ]
  2. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    isle of Jura - Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! 8O

    Agree with what you say buit it is only what we have come to expect of our glorious USA official historians.

    However, it could be made with K.K.K. & W.A.S.P.s & Black Panthers etc.

    I think that the good ole USof A has quite enough prejudices to make a film. :twisted:

    I don't think that any comparisons should be made as, IMHO, it will be a waste of time and ignored now and forever by Hollywood.
  3. Hollywood is all out of ideas, but they have the money. They are re-making all sorts of old 'good' stuff, both from their own films and shows and from over here too. And I don't have a problem with that in principle.

    As I say they have the money to make a good film better. They have the technology to make an old good film become a digital masterpiece. There are good actors and actresses that could do a good film justice.

    And if that was all there was to it everything would be rosy.

    But no. They have to make their films for an american audience. The great american unwashed don't really travel much so the film had better be set in the US of A. If it's not, there had better be a damn good connection to the US or an even better reason why it can't be. The lead and supporting actors and actresses have to be american even if they are trying to be from other nationalities, or if they are from other nations they have to have american accents.... why?

    Why did Alexander the Great have an Irish accent? Why did Dr Doolittle change colour (or should that be color?) Why did the US Navy find the Enigma? Why did 'The Italian Job' have nothing to do with 'The Italian Job'? Why wasn't 'Get Carter' set in Newcastle? The questions are endless. But the answer is always the same. It has nothing to do with 'art'. It has everything with getting big fat american butts on the cinema seats. They aren't interested in some tale of horror set in the wild and windy Scotish north. They don't care where Scotland is and if thaere wasn't a connection with the good old US of A they aren't going to pay $7 to see it. Hollywood is nothing to do with art...... Hollywood is to do with money. Sh1t bust.
  4. Hollywood...historians? :lol: When have they ever been?

    I just wish they would finally see the light and hire Rocket as a consultant
  5. Mr Happy

    Mr Happy LE Moderator

    I don't care where Scotland is either and, to be honest, if I had the option of a film set in dank wet place with mossies everywhere and errm the rather beautiful towns and villages of New England I know what I'd pay 7 bucks for.

    Reality isn't pretty, just stare at your arrsewhole (sic) in the mirror...
  6. I hope they put in a dramatic car chase - I always thought that the original was rather lacking in that respect. Perhaps it was because the Isles lack street markets and alleyways full of piled boxes.
  7. Pah, whats next?

    A reworking of Ice cold in Alex - moved to Iraq, showing the heroic exploits of a US ambulance crew in the desert, with Anthony Quayles role as a German spy becoming an escaping Osama BL???

    no - hang on I've got it.


    The heroic defence of bush's drift, a remote medical post in the Afghan mountains - 120 US troops surrounded by 8000 Afghan tribesmen, charging at them in human wave attacks, chanting in unison.

    can hear it now - the defenders singing "come on Texans stop your dreaming, cant you see their spearpoints gleaming..... Texas na'er shall yield"

    Does anyone know how to reprogram a Trident to land on Hollywood???
  8. It may have been a (bad) dream, but I recall hearing recently that Ice Cold in Alex ws to be remade.
  9. Hitch hikers guide to the galaxy, what a shame!!

    Ford prefect has now changed to a black american!!
  10. They are re-making the Wickerman as well??? ffs, they're also re-doing Battle Royale...
  11. Read somewhere they're doing a 're-make' of the 'Battle of Britain' - with a Yank shooting down most of the Luftwaffe!
    Strange really, as no Yank shot any down in reality. Did see a U.S. made documentary once that claimed they'd had a major hand in the victory because the R.A.F. used U.S. refined fuel.............
  12. Having holidayed there on-and-off for about fifteen years I have to say that not much of New England is particularly sinister, save perhaps the up-state Maine coastline (HP Lovecraft country). If they set it there, it could actually work because the locals are rather....odd. Nick Cage arrse-raped Correlli and now he's doing it to this classic too. Shame on him. Who bets that they try to get Edward WooWar to do a cameo?

    As for Tom Cruise's "The Few" (where he plays an Eagle Squadron pilot who wins the Battle of Britain) well I'd like to see veterans protesting outside cinemas. Just thinking about it is making me harrumph and shake my Torygraph in disgust.
  13. More on the Wickerman ' rehash '..

    Christopher Lee , who played Lord Summerisle in the original, is to ' reprise ' his role as the " Town Magus " in the new production [guess he didn't make enoigh cash from the LOTR trilogy or got an offer he couldn't refuse ]..

    and, how the mighty have fallen, Vanessa Redgrave is also in the new cast [ bet she isn't playing the Britt part of the nekkid bar maid ]..

    The new film is titled " May Day " wordplay on the solstice/Beltaine thing and the distress call..

    I take it as a warning to stay clear of this turkey...
  14. The wickerman was actually sh1te anyway. It was so unconviincing when they captured him. Any right bloke would have just tw@ted the hippy barstewards and he didn't shag the bird but resisted temptation. Come on. That's one film the americans are welcome to.