F***ing Huge Spiders!

S

squirt

Guest
#1
Not entirely sure if this was the right place to put this post... But I'm due to go on tour to Iraq this year and I'm hearing all these stories about camel spiders and I've seen the pictures! Please tell me they're not as bad as I've heard! 8O
 
#3
I was returning to my basha many moons ago and tripped over a spider the size of an alsation.

Its eyes were huge and it had compo round its mouth where it had been helpign itself to our scoff.

For desert every night it would scoff everyones w@ank socks washed down with pints of flem hocked up by the VMs in the workshop.

We used to feed it Rhino puppies and it even ate a volkswagon beetle smeared in jam roly poly.....

So in answer to yoru question yes the spiders are very very big.

Ours moved to Idaho and know operates a succesful lawn mower repair business
 
#4
See that picture under my name Squirt? Well that's one....and that's what it looked like close up when I fell flat on my face trying to run away from it! :oops:
 
S

squirt

Guest
#5
Yeah they sound pretty evil... not looking forward to waking up with them on my face or anywhere near me for that matter! :oops: 8O :x

Cheers MDN that didn't help at all!! :D
 
#6
squirt said:
Yeah they sound pretty evil... not looking forward to waking up with them on my face or anywhere near me for that matter! :oops: 8O :x
I dunno, you could wake up with B_B or Anya389072 on your face! :lol:
 
#7
Strange thing with Camel Spiders is that they jump. When I say jump - I mean in attack - not like a competitive high or long jump - but AT you!

If you find one in your boots, just give it your boots. The arguement would not be worth it. Unless you fancy a limb amputated or see that as a fair unit of loss over your boots. They are HUGE fans of sleeping bags, too. Something about looking for the warmest thing as they are cold blooded. Might be worth covering your face.

The females will protect their young like cornered rats, too. If you find a web with 1 there, it will probably be the female and there WILL be young nearby - training to hunt & forage. Just don't startle her or look like you're going near her young. The young are attracted to silver things - compo bags & mess tims in particular. Worth getting such things in dark covered bags in case.

Don't get me started on 'Thubs' tho. Now THERE is a desert creature that will damage your VEHICLE too! If you don't know to ask about them, then probably best we don't tell.
 
#8
In Africa, I was going through the woifs clothes in a cupboard looking for something the children had hidden and came across a spider the size of my hand. Bloody thing was at eye level and about 6 inches away. Got the maid to whack it with her broom and the crunch could have be heard outside. The maid was 5 minutes explaining to me that these fookers mate and live together - the other one would "come along when it's ready."

Bloody difficult to sleep in the room for a few days afterwards.

Far worse is when starting the car in the morning - snakes climb up onto the engine block for heat overnight. When you open the air vents into the car, the buggers slip through towards you.
 
#9
trickywoo56 said:
Far worse is when starting the car in the morning - snakes climb up onto the engine block for heat overnight. When you open the air vents into the car, the buggers slip through towards you.
b0llocks
 
E

error_unknown

Guest
#10
A_team_lewis said:
Their favourite food :D

As a mild arachnophobe I found my year in Belize fairly trying, as for some reason I seemed to be a tarantula magnet. However, it does mean they no longer frighten me as much as they used to: a medium sized, multi-coloured bästard did give me the old: 'Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough' routine on one occasion, at which point I trod on it. chickenpunk 1 tarantula 0 :D
 
#11
Squirt - i know where your coming from m8 - Am due to go out in April, and i dont give a rats about the IEDs / RCIEDs etc - its those fecking camel spiders that are "more common in the south" that im bothered about - joy!

:cry:
 
S

squirt

Guest
#12
Arai said:
Squirt - i know where your coming from m8 - Am due to go out in April, and i dont give a rats about the IEDs / RCIEDs etc - its those fecking camel spiders that are "more common in the south" that im bothered about - joy!

:cry:
That's my exact feeling!!! :( 8)
 
E

error_unknown

Guest
#13
Arai said:
Squirt - i know where your coming from m8 - Am due to go out in April, and i dont give a rats about the IEDs / RCIEDs etc - its those fecking camel spiders that are "more common in the south" that im bothered about - joy!

:cry:
Saw some in Oman, didn't see any in Iraq, if that cheers you up.
 
#14
chickenpunk said:
Arai said:
Squirt - i know where your coming from m8 - Am due to go out in April, and i dont give a rats about the IEDs / RCIEDs etc - its those fecking camel spiders that are "more common in the south" that im bothered about - joy!

:cry:
Saw some in Oman, didn't see any in Iraq, if that cheers you up.
i did. 8O
 
#16
its not the spiders you need to be scared of, its the Bedford eating beetle

 
#17
woke up with one in my doss bag. Fcuker bit me on the arm before i had chance do do the bastard. Chased the fcuker and smashed it in with a club hammer - took 3 goes to kill it. My arm was in bits for about 6 weeks.
 
#19
squirt said:
Not entirely sure if this was the right place to put this post... But I'm due to go on tour to Iraq this year and I'm hearing all these stories about camel spiders and I've seen the pictures! Please tell me they're not as bad as I've heard! 8O
Apparently!!! if you put Army foot powder round the base of each leag of your cot they won't climb upi it. I'm also told that if you stand each leg in a can full of petrol, diesel and sand and then ignite it that too will save you from a feckin big bite!! You may have to explain why you're getting thro a dossbag a day to the QM tho! Otherwise just get inside a decent mozzie net and they won't get you.

Don't get too worried about them though - how many blokes have you met that have actually been bitten by one? Not many I suspect.
 
#20
Camel spiders...........not nice

I was in a ten man tent in Kenya and noticed one of these feckers in the half shadow on the canopy, being fecking nails I ran like a big girls blouse to get some back up (as you do). One of the lads got his mess tin and tapped the tent roof just below this monster......sure enough it fell into the tin and then promptly righted itself and then RAN DOWN HIS FECKING ARM TOWARDS HIS FACE.... 8O 8O

Much screaming followed and lots of running, the fecker was cornered a few minutes later and burnt to death by ten double hard b*astards.

Camel spiders........I sh*t 'em :lol:
 

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