F***ING GLASGOW!!

#1
I don't believe it, I really don't - you couldn't make it up........

Earlier today I received a signal from APC along the lines of "we've (APC) fcuked up and paid almost £4000 Boarding School Allowance to the wrong soldier, ring (name and number given) urgently!"

So I duly ring up and the phone was answered by what I can only assume was one of the YTS trainees up there (not the name on the signal).  I ask for the person I want to speak to by name only to be told in no uncertain terms that I had no right to ring that number direct and should now be going through their "new" helpline number.  I was dumbfounded!  I told the person at Glasgow who I was and that the signal had requested me to ring urgently.  Was that good enough? Oh No!  "Units are not to ring individual desks directly" I was qouted.

At that point I gave up - told them if they didn't want their 4 grand back that was up to them, and hung up.

2 minutes later, bloke who wrote the original signal calls me up arrse lickin' like a good 'un. ;D


(Incidentally, I'd already picked up the fact that one of the soldiers had been overpaid 4k and got it back off him, but it was nice to have Glasgow squirm for a bit.) ;)
 
F

flash_to_bang

Guest
#2
I have a cunning plan, my Lord.......After the latest chapter in the 16 year saga of "How the Army F**ked up my pay"...I have been trying to get my pay sorted out for 6 months now and if it is not correct on my (late) pay statement I am going for the formal leeter of complaint to the CO and.................a trip to the med centre saying that the whole thing is just too stressful and making me impotent, insomniac and generally turning me into a homicidal maniac..may not get my pay sorted but I should get a few weeks gardening leave out of it!!!
 
F

flash_to_bang

Guest
#3
Te good news-they sorted my pay out

the bad news-I need a plan B to get some time off-answers welcome
 
#9
if you want time off work then go and buy a quality medical book listing all the injuries and illnesses to man.
then just pick one that you can fake the symptoms to and hey presto your ill as f**k and off work. of course they is the chance that the med center will just give you iburophen a sick chit and 3 days in trainers.
 
#10
Shotgun said:
Are you sure it was Glasgow and the switchboard wasn't in Delhi where all the best switchboards have been relocated to?  ;D
In Glasgow, a telephone operative is paid an average of £5.23 per hour.
In India, a telephone operative is paid an average of £9.00 per month.
That is why the army personnel centre has its call centres in Bombay and Calcutta.

At the army personnel centre, Glasgow, we never underestimate the importance of local knowledge. :twisted: :twisted:
 
#11
It really has become sad. All you have on the outside for banks, utility companies etc are call centres, manned by very helpful individuals (and a few plainly unhelpful individuals too) and the whole process of calling them became hard work.

So what did APC do? yes they have a call centre which is staffed by well meaning individuals that are basically the human form of post it notes (and oh yes, you have to queue to speak to them) and they have 7 days to give a response to a problem. What a quality service that is: 'sorry Cpl Snooks, come back in a week for the answer to your query'.

Hmmmmff
 
#12
It's not just the APC; I am still awaiting a reply, despite several hasteners, from the MoD Contracts Branch, whose office is also located in Glasgow, to a letter sent in February.

Excuses for failing to respond in the past have included a claim that they only have one working computer in the building, or that there's a fault with the telephone system which has resulted in only one telephone working.

Best of all was when the relocated a few doors down the street - not only did they not notify people corresponding with them (due to cost, apparently), they then claimed that any post sent to the old address was not delivered because no arrangements for forwarding were made.

Bunch of Jock tossers, all of 'em! :evil:
 
#13
For once it would be nice to read an intelligent response to Glasgow call centre.
If you actually read your DSPSI (yes thats the big paper thing you are using to keep your desk straight or to wipe your arrse with).

It states 24 hours response, NOT 7 days. They have 7 days to fix the problem.

If used correctly its a very easy system to use, so its ideal for most soldiers and the majority of the AGC corps.

If you don't like the call centre that much or Glasgow as a whole, put your money where your mouth is, go to your RAO and ask him to put a complaint through Brigade to DSPSA.

"Bunch of Jock tossers, all of 'em! "
Charming, nice to see the AGC is as eloquent as ever.

AGC - Bunch of whining b@stards, all of 'em.
 
#14
congratulations you have read the DSPSI too, how many times out of 10 have you had a response within 24 hours? And when phoning APC how may times have you been told that their remit is 7 days?

Now on the numerous visits I have made to APC on many pretexts, I have found them a jolly amenable bunch face to face and I didnt find the fabled 'in tray mountain' that was supposed to exist.

I mourn the passing of an instant response from a desk officer and the solution at hand. To pass complaints through SPS Branch to DPSA has been the standard procedure for at least 12 months and to date there has been zero response.

So your suggestion about using that DSPSI to wipe my backside seems apt.
 
#15
flash_to_bang said:
I have a cunning plan, my Lord.......After the latest chapter in the 16 year saga of "How the Army F**ked up my pay"...I have been trying to get my pay sorted out for 6 months now and if it is not correct on my (late) pay statement I am going for the formal leeter of complaint to the CO and.................a trip to the med centre saying that the whole thing is just too stressful and making me impotent, insomniac and generally turning me into a homicidal maniac..may not get my pay sorted but I should get a few weeks gardening leave out of it!!!
Its not "the ARMY" that fucks up your pay , it is a person somwhere that really dosnt care about you. A clerk ....could even be a civi. I have had plenty of times i have had to go to the pay office and you would not beleive the answers these morons can come out with. Sometimes you will get a really good egg that will try their best 2 help you, but you also on the other hand get the one that cannot handle pressure. Gone are the days where the Coy clk was a bloke from your own regt, civies are takin over and for the worse.
 
#16
Well here's a suggestion..

Why not ring the Enquiry serivce, ask to speak to a manager and request an official visit.
I have been and found it very helpful. You can air any problems ( they do actually listen to you) and they in turn can explain why you can't do certain things ( like ring your old clerks and get them to do your job for you).

That way you can see what you are complaining about and actually understand how it works.
Instead of complaining about a service you don't appreciate and never had any intention of accepting.

Put your money where your mouth is and visit them and complain face to face if you feel that strongly,
if you can't leave your unit, invite the managers on a visit.

Just a thought...
 
#17
Porkiechop said:
Well here's a suggestion..

Why not ring the Enquiry serivce, ask to speak to a manager and request an official visit.
I have been and found it very helpful. You can air any problems ( they do actually listen to you) and they in turn can explain why you can't do certain things ( like ring your old clerks and get them to do your job for you).

That way you can see what you are complaining about and actually understand how it works.
Instead of complaining about a service you don't appreciate and never had any intention of accepting.

Put your money where your mouth is and visit them and complain face to face if you feel that strongly,
if you can't leave your unit, invite the managers on a visit.

Just a thought...
been there done that. how long have u been in the army? there used to be days where the soldier was blind and thank god the world is better, but he is still left in the galley when it comes to real issues, it is a known fact and i have seen it that the pay guys wont tell you what you are owed until you ask, and i know this for a fact., I and my men have had these pay doc visits and to what? The same as manning and records? for what?Ask the soldier on the ground not the people above them......the service is shit!!!!!!!!! It is ok if you are an officer!!! Get real..listen to the guys that have problems???not the bosses that think they have!!! I have 32 guys and they all have problems.........and the pay guys only make things worse by saying all sorts of SHIT to get rid of genuine moaners.
The forces will never be rid of the JOBSWORTH, we are a force(Navy, army, air force) to be reconed with , FFS, support us dont fight us!!!
 
#18
Glasgow....oh dear!

being of irish origin (waits for the barrage of irish jokes...to which us paddys have heard all before!) i had to go through a strict security clearence check when i was joining the TA....took about a year, even tho i have a serving brother in the Army.

what took the piss the most is, they lost all my paperwork in the system so had to go through the check again....i also had to be attested again, lets just say it didn't instill confidence in our friends in the APC.

any takers on being attested twice for the same unit?
 
#19
another glasgow thingy in joint conjunction with agc clerks. being out in the gulf one would think my finances are secure. being that i spend close to nothing out here. oh no! on a recent request to change my bank details this happened... instead of placing some money in both my accounts so my direct debits can be paid whilst im saving the world. the f*ckers didnt pay me at all. yet when they want money off me it comes almost instantly out of my account. thanks to this "minor incident" im 550 quid over my overdraft. bank wants 120 quid in charges for bounced checks and letters telling me ive got no money (thanks) and also my credit rating is now piss poor. cheers and if it wasnt for the technology of today (internet banking) i would never have known, and nor would they... probably.
i know i can claim it all back but its a pain in the arrse.
once again thanks.
 

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