Now dont get me wrong,i dont consider myself to be the most handsome bastard in the world,but JR3 got me thinking about our lesser blessed friends?..we had one in our village a few yrs back.Eddie was his name,5ft3" tall in his best Gola trainers,squinty eyes,that peered down his boil encrusted nose,receeded hairline complimented by his greasey,limp ,side parted shoulder length hair..aged mid 40's,with a permanent expression of confusion on his horrendous physog,Eddie really did look like he'd been on smack since playschool,tho surprisingly had never done drugs...Unsurprisingly he still lived with his mum.Whereas most people afflicted with such cruel features,would be self conscious,our Eddie bless him was the polar opposite,and considered himself to be Gods gift to women,and regaled any poor bastard stood within 10ft of him with tales of "this orgy"and "that orgy"..most people uncomfortably moonwalked away from him,or decided they were supposed to be somewhere 10 minutes ago!,add to the horror mask face,the fact he looked like Begbie out of trainspotting and carried that look of phsyco,made him quite off-putting...not to young Brocks tho?..i found him amusing,having just left the Gunners,i was used to ugly fuckers with sentence stringing difficulties,i actively encouraged him! the way he smiled when reminiscing the "absolute fuckin stunners" of Skegness,who whilst holidaying with his mum,would give him a gobble for a fiver..made me love him even more!....one thing that always confused me tho?was his nickname"Eddie the wedge"??..i just presumed,it was due to living with his mum all his life and not having to spend any of his chicken factory wages.....then one night i discovered the reason,when i followed my mate into the bogs..only to here my mate shreik"FUCKIN HELL...FFFFUCKIN HELL",i replied whats up you silly ff....."???...then i saw it!Eddie smashing his 11" semi against the tiles!!!....that sight will stay with me for ever,and even tho i threatened to throw the ugly ,annoying little bastard thru the pub window a couple of times,I couldnt help admire him/it...the lucky lucky bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!..