F*ckwits

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Taffnp, Nov 3, 2008.

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  1. I have for the last few years been employed as an agency driver. I have been working 55 - 60 hours a week and making a fair living.

    However due to the recent financial crisis, I am only getting one or two days a week.

    I have been forced to sign on the dole and claim JSA. However as my income for even one day is a fair bit, I don't get dole but still have to sign and complete a form which shows hours worked.

    Signing on day came and I strolled in with my duly completed diary of what I have been doing to look for work and form B7 showing hours worked.

    I dropped them on the desk and the man looked at them and started to tut tut then said "you worked 19 hours last week", "yep I know". "You worked 21 this week". (both in two days)

    "You will have to sign off". "Why" ?

    "Ah if you work 16 hours or more, it's full time employment".

    He then told me that my claim was now closed. I looked at him dumbstruck, "So I am unemployed - NOW"

    "Yes sir you will need to make an appointment to make a new claim"

    I looked at him and said "OK lets do it"

    He looked at me stupid and told me that I would have to phone the one call centre to make an appointment and directed me to the front desk.


    I obtained the number and was informed that it was freephone (I think the 0800 would have told me that) I headed for the phones on the wall but was told that I could not dial that number from them and duly made my way down the street to a public call box.


    After 20 mins of questions to see if my circumstances had changed, if I was in full time education etc. I was given an appointment for the next day.


    I turned up signed a form and was on my way in less than 10 mins :evil:
     
  2. elovabloke

    elovabloke LE Moderator

    Copy paste and send to your MP. The stupidity of the rules surrounding the DWP is beyond belief. Just remember at times it's not always the staff's fault.

    The Kitchen Gestapo is a training officer with them and she cannot believe what is going on.

    I will show her your post tonight.
     
  3. Thats absolutely fckin outrageous i'm sorry but I would have peeled the cnuts scrotumn with a pairing knife and pasted them onto his bleedin eyes as new spunk deflecting eyelids the cnutty cnuttedy bumhole.
    Its a complete waste of taxpayers money to draw up new aplications and such.. it fckin angers me to the point of sending a steaming brown chod to whitehall in disgust.
    Hope you do what elovabloke advised... rings bell next stop pls driver! :x
     
  4. It's all over the place. Last summer I did some work in the UK for beer tokens and because my employer's accountant has the brains of a fish they somehow managed to get the usual routine where I pay NI but not tax upside down, and I ended up paying tax but not NI. Might have been a better deal, but that's not the point. At the end of the summer I was looking at a tax rebate of 80 quid (see what I mean about beer tokens!). A few years ago that would have been a simple matter of filling out a form at the local tax office and wham bam in about 6 - 8 weeks the cash was in the bank. Now that has changed. I was sent a raft of forms asking all kinds of detailed and intrusive questions about my comings and goings between abroad and the UK over the last five years, all my employment in that time ( which in my business, where you might work for 3 or 4 schools at any given time starts to get bloody complicated)...in the end it was a case of fcuk it, keep the bloody money, it isn't worth the effort...which is what it is all about. Barstewards.
     
  5. :) just as bad

    I receive a phone call from the agency - work all next week. Pretty constant then goes a bit slow. Get a phone call on Sunday night usually. One Sunday night - no phone call, no work for Monday. Best register a bit rapid or lose money, could be out of work a day or a week.

    Phone the one call centre after 20 minutes of questions they ask when I would like to claim from - Saturday says meas Friday was my last day of work. Ah can only claim from the day of contact - couldn't contact you Sat as you were closed :pissedoff:

    Get an appointment for Thursday. Monday night agency phone have work Tues to Fri. Now I have to sign off before I have signed on.

    Explained my predicament to a sympathetic member of staff and they told me that every Friday I should phone up and register unemployed so as not to lose two days knob suckers allowance :)
     
  6. I got the measure of these tw@ts many years ago when I was caught in the wastelands of mid-Wales. They used to do relocation allowances, but they were of course cut around the time I could have really used one. Basically, I could have picked up a job in London at the drop of a hat, but needed about 500 quid to set me up through the first month, money I simply didn't have and couldn't get. Sorry mate, stuff you, we'd prefer you spent the rest of your life in this agricultural employment challenged wasteland claiming dole than even lend you the money to get out. Eventually I had to fight them for 18 months to get a grant which led to me being independent, and outside the UK, for the rest of my life.
     
  7. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    to be fair, the majority of staff I've dealt with in the past few years ( my personal circumstances have been a little erratic to say the least ) have known and admitted what a clusterfukc the whole situation is. the last few times I've been between contracts and gone to sign on, they've taken one look at my qualifications and experience (and I've nothing particularly amazing or out of the ordinary on my cv) and admitted straight up, the entire system is geared towards getting otherwise unemployable chavscum and ratboys into that all important first rung of the employment ladder mopping out the bogs at the local mickey d's, and can do nothing much for anyone with a half decent skillset who really want to work.
    however... I then took a job in london. contract finished, but great experience and clearly where the majority of the action is job wise (at least in my field). So I'm still living in manchester, but looking for jobs in the south as well, as theres far more going on down here. and of course, (funny how theres always one?) a complete jobsworth wants to know why I'm asking for trainfares down south every week.
    'thats where the work is, and thats where my interviews are' I reply.
    'well, perhaps you should think about moving down there... we cant afford to keep paying for your trainfares for all these interviews.'
    fcuking speechless... I'm probably one of the few daft sods in there who dont intend to spend the rest of my life signing on and wearing knocked off shellsuits, I've paid more tax than any of the other halfwit ratboys in there threatening violence if they 'dont get me fcukin' giro NOW you cnut' and shes telling me this... I then asked if I could get any financial support for a move down south if that was the case... guess what I got told.
    fcuking oxygen thief.
     
  8. Don't talk to me about JSA!! Made redundant a few weeks ago and now found myself a part time job.
    Trying to sign off JSA but four phone calls later no nearer to doing this. Apparently cos new job is
    less than 16 hours a week this is not classed as being in work and I should still claim but declare any
    earnings! What!!
     
  9. I have a mate who has just been laid off - a buildings finishing manager. Never out of work in 23 years. Too proud to claim dole, but that said he probably will not get any help. If you have savings of 16k or more the financial aid is on the sliding scale of zero.

    So people who make an effort to work and pay tax, and manage their finances find themselves penalised.

    Now if you were a career doley boy who has an IQ of single figures and communicates by grunting then you are well away. No ambition, dole is the natural progression on leaving school, like Primary, secondary, Comp - DOLE
     
  10. meridian

    meridian LE Good Egg (charities)

    A lot of sympathy with you, I experienced a very similar thing with my very brief brush with the system. The whole system is built around around people who have very predictable patterns of work and very little skills. If you are say a contractor with periods in and out of work on a regular basis you are fcuked.

    If you have a reasonable set of skills forget any notion of help from the people at the job centre. I spoke to one of the sensible people there and they admitted that they simply couldne't do anything for me. He did say that they used to maintain seperate lists of people i.e. those that were employable and those that weren't. Because the former list was always good employers used to use it. The PC brigade waded in and said oh no, you have to have a single system for everyone so its not discriminating against the thickies. End result, employers use the job centre as a last resort not first. Well done, what a result

    Good luck and by the way if you want your CV tarted up drop me a PM (same goes for anyone)
     
  11. What you have to remember is, the staff who sign you, dont make the rules, or have any say in how things are run.

    Having at dig at the JCP staff is pointless, because they know the system is shite, and there is sod all they can do to change it.

    They have a shite job, and hate doing it, especially as they know fine well, that if the people in charge listened to them, things would work a hell of a lot better.

    For example, did you know that fugees have to be in receipt of job seekers allowance within 14 days of making a claim, and that anyone from this country can wait for upto six weeks or longer?

    Or

    If you lose your job, and go to sign on you wont get any benefits until the JCP have had your P45 from your ex employer.
    But that doesnt count for fugees, as they dont have to prove if they have worked or not! crazy isnt it.

    There are loads more but I would be here all day listing them

    I know about the above because my mrs works for them, and she thinks its shite too, so its not just the people signing on who think it.



    The people who decide the rules, are sat up in London, and dont have a clue about reality.
     
  12. BUgger, I have an interview with the DWP on Friday......for a job working for them 8O
     
  13. No you wouldn't have. You'd take the paper and fall in line like the rest of them.

    Look, an internet hard man :D
     
  14. Can't fault this bit though.
     
  15. Bit off topic, but here in Prague I have to pass through(snarf,snarf) a Metro station called Chodov almost daily.