F*ck it and eat it

#1
The phrase 'F*ck it and eat it' remains my favourite response to any discussion involving anything from the animal kingdom (I think originating from the Fox in a Box strip from Viz?). But this has got me thinking; what animal is the best to copulate with and then consume? I think it is difficult to balance shagability with edibility, but there must be a happy balance somewhere.

Naturally something like a cow would yield the tastiest treats, but the thought of cnut busting a bovine does not really get my womb ferret twitching. Alternatively I can get exceedingly aroused at the prospect of nudging the kidneys of a Panda - I think it's the slutty eye makeup along with the fact that they really,really don't want it. But I think Panda burgers might be a bit rubbish.

So if you have nowt better to do, what animal would you want to f*ck and then eat?

Oh, and humans/longpig are verbotten. Athough for the record I would go for Princess Beatrice. Quite tasty in both senses of the word; young, plump, well reared (kind of like Wagyu beef) and with the added bonus of probably tasting a bit like twiglets.
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#2
I thought this was going to be a thread about Wales!
 
#3
Lamb....any day of the week

It's cute, cuddly, and warm. It's also young enough to still be tight, and would taste nice afterwards.

You'd also tick 2 boxes - beastilailty, and peadophilia :)
 
#4
B_AND_T said:
I thought this was going to be a thread about Wales!
On that theme then whales.

Useless animals that pollute the sea with their wee. Get them in the watertight holes then get them on the barby.
 
#5
smudge67 said:
Lamb....any day of the week

It's cute, cuddly, and warm. It's also young enough to still be tight, and would taste ni afterwards.

You'd also tick 2 boxes - beastilailty, and peadophilia :)
That's a good shout. Plus if it is young enough to still be suckling it will probably give a pretty good nosh too, so would be well up for a bit of two's up action. Can you see where I am going with this.........

Spit roast to spit roast.
 
#6
smudge67 said:
Lamb....any day of the week

It's cute, cuddly, and warm. It's also young enough to still be tight, and would taste nice afterwards.

You'd also tick 2 boxes - beastilailty, and peadophilia :)
Dont you mean kid?
 
#7
Cue Fugly saying "I refer you to my Signature Block!" *



IIRC there used to be rumours of far eastern whore houses clipping the bills of certain types of duck which were supposed to give excellent deep throat BJ's. One of them'd do (although lambikins is a good option as well).





*That'll really piss him off! :twisted:
 
#8
Kangaroo; defenceless from behind, convenient design (accessible pink bits, plus a tail to hang onto) very lean meat, excellent leather for the making of scrotum snoods, and the front paws can be used as props in re-enactments of Skippy

All together now...

Skippy, Skippy, Skippy the bush kangaroo.
Skippy, Skippy, Skippy our friend ever-true...
 
#9
Gracie said:
smudge67 said:
Lamb....any day of the week

It's cute, cuddly, and warm. It's also young enough to still be tight, and would taste nice afterwards.

You'd also tick 2 boxes - beastilailty, and peadophilia :)
Dont you mean kid?
kidophilia? Is that a real word?
 
#10
I have to agree, I'd go for a supple young lamb too. A great advantage to the "Fcuk it and eat it" system is that if you fcuk it hard enough the meat is much more tender. Kind of like beating a steak with a mallet but instead you beat a sheep with your c0ck.
 
#11
Isn't skate (the fish) supposed to rank pretty high?
I was told that matelots were called "skates" because they fcuked them at sea. Apparently the genitalia of a skate closely resembles that of the human Doris.

..... Dunno?? ........ but it's good eatin'!!!!
 
#12
I might even go for something extreme(not that fcuking and eating animals isn't extreme already) perhaps an endangered tiger. Would make a great story.


edited for typo.
 
#13
Benzoate said:
I might even go for something extreme(not that fcuking and eat animals isn't extreme already) perhaps an endangered tiger. Would make a great story.
Shit the bed. That's taking it to a new level. I feel I must now add the clause that you must f*ck the animal without it being sedated and you have to kill and prepare the animal for dining. Good luck chap, I would pay to watch that and would be cheering the loudest. Whilst also knocking one out.
 
#14
Almost_Ex said:
I feel I must now add the clause that you must f*ck the animal without it being sedated
I had no intention of sedating the tiger. I imagine fcuking a fully concious tiger would be something similar to fcuking a girl from behind then whispering in her ear that you have AIDS and trying to finish in her whilst she tries to buck you off.
 
#16
If anyone fancies their chances with an ostrich*, Cutaway has pointed out that it will disembowel you if approached from the front, which I didn't know. Mind you, cassowaries haven't killed anyone here since 1926, so it's long overdue.

* imagine the drumsticks!
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#17
Would it be odd if I said a lopped eared rabbit?
 
#18
B_AND_T said:
Would it be odd if I said a lopped eared rabbit?
Given responses so far, this seems pretty kosher to me. Actually I rather like the sound of it. However, if it is a small rabbit and you are particularly girthy you might need to wrap some Harry Maskers around bugs's midrift to avoid it splitting. Quite nice fur to wipe your bell end on afterwards though.
 
#20
bovvy said:
Isn't skate (the fish) supposed to rank pretty high?
I was told that matelots were called "skates" because they fcuked them at sea. Apparently the genitalia of a skate closely resembles that of the human Doris.

..... Dunno?? ........ but it's good eatin'!!!!


One of these? 8O
 

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