Extremes of chippiness.

#1
A few years ago I decided I'd had enough of His Tonyness' rubbish policies and took the opportunity of a free transfer to Australia.
Picture the scene - there's me, the Pom new boy in my new very badly "tailored" uniform with funny medals - or come to think of it - with medals. People wanted to know all about me and my wife, why the change and all the other trivia I'm now tired of talking about! Anyway, after the meal, which by the way was terrible, no idea of etiquette these bloody colonials, right, after the meal I decided to help myself to a drink behind the bar – again not the done thing, well I didn’t know! I thought I needed to show the subbies that Port is the après dinner drink of choice for all discerning officers – by the gallon. Now, bearing in mind I was posted to the Hunter Valley – where the make wine you’ll understand, imagine my horror when I found a horribly wrinkled old lady, or should I say, civilian contractor squeezing the last drops of the boxed Port into the decanter. Oh, my God I though, what have I done.
Suffice to say, over the last three years there have been many similar experiences, however, the sun shines all the time, I knock off religiously at 1600 every day and I’m currently on a tax free “op” tour!
Hurrah.
Now PWRR, QLR etc (or whatever the nom de plume by which they work under these days) aside, can anyone beat such naffness in an Officer's Mess?
 
#2
When I did Longlook - at a Mess Dinner night, the CO of the oz regt (who did a tour with our Army for two years) looked at my bowtie and smiled. He then turned to the assembled audience and asked:

"Who can do this?"

and pulled one end of his bowtie to undo it. I followed suit, and 35 other officers gave their elastic clip-ons an embarrassed twang...............

:bow:
 
#3
Yep, any time I go into a Crab one...
 
#4
Elastic is the issue - the just don't understand. I am the epitome of imperial headship power every time I put on by real bow tie.
 
#7
Ozduke said:
A few years ago I decided I'd had enough of His Tonyness' rubbish policies and took the opportunity of a free transfer to Australia.
Picture the scene - there's me, the Pom new boy in my new very badly "tailored" uniform with funny medals - or come to think of it - with medals. People wanted to know all about me and my wife, why the change and all the other trivia I'm now tired of talking about! Anyway, after the meal, which by the way was terrible, no idea of etiquette these bloody colonials, right, after the meal I decided to help myself to a drink behind the bar – again not the done thing, well I didn’t know! I thought I needed to show the subbies that Port is the après dinner drink of choice for all discerning officers – by the gallon. Now, bearing in mind I was posted to the Hunter Valley – where the make wine you’ll understand, imagine my horror when I found a horribly wrinkled old lady, or should I say, civilian contractor squeezing the last drops of the boxed Port into the decanter. Oh, my God I though, what have I done.
Suffice to say, over the last three years there have been many similar experiences, however, the sun shines all the time, I knock off religiously at 1600 every day and I’m currently on a tax free “op” tour!
Hurrah.
Now PWRR, QLR etc (or whatever the nom de plume by which they work under these days) aside, can anyone beat such naffness in an Officer's Mess?
How about gobby little pompous shiites trying to decide what is and what isn't 'chippy'?
 
#10
Oh, just another Officer hater - how I've missed you and your ilk. Awfully clever how you've comined two threads into one.

Here you go - '. My most humble apologies.

Now hopefully we can have constructive banter.
 
#11
My Goodness Ozduke! You really are a most dreadful snob!

You presume that it amuses us that you sneer and cavil at Antipodean Mess customs. I for one am not amused.

It is rank bad manners to make fun of the regimental customs and habits of others.

For shame Sir!
 
#12
Mess custom - to drink boxed Port. I hardly think so, simply a lack of style. Nothing I didn't expect mind you! Point taken however.
 
#13
Ozduke said:
Oh, just another Officer hater - how I've missed you and your ilk. Awfully clever how you've comined two threads into one.

Here you go - '. My most humble apologies.

Now hopefully we can have constructive banter.
What drove you to decide that I am an 'Officer' hater?

The only officers that irritate me are those that have an overdeveloped idea of their own station in life. You, my boy, seem to fit neatly into that category.

How clever that you prattle on about education etc and drop spelling mistakes into most posts that you write - perhaps it's too much port for you to handle?

I never had the DWR down as a particularly snooty organisation - all the Offrs, SNCOs and JNCOs that I met and served with from that org were straightforward, down-to-earth, professional men with the confidence to be able to mix socially and professionally with every other organisation in the Army without feeling the need to denegrate them.
 
#14
Can I just ask why it's perfectly acceptable to slag officers off from all angles, whereas if something is mentioned, which, lets face it, is true, (some SNCOs have some cracking turns of phrase) and on the officers forum, it has to be hijacked and stopped?
I don't think its snobbery, it's observation - in the same way NCOs take the p!ss out of junior ranks, officers etc etc. If you're going to take offence to the thread - don't read it. It's not like its being directed straight at you.


---- I know, this should be on the Dargans thread, but the principal remains -----
 
#15
Wyvern said:
Can I just ask why it's perfectly acceptable to slag officers off from all angles, whereas if something is mentioned, which, lets face it, is true, (some SNCOs have some cracking turns of phrase) and on the officers forum, it has to be hijacked and stopped?
I don't think its snobbery, it's observation - in the same way NCOs take the p!ss out of junior ranks, officers etc etc. If you're going to take offence to the thread - don't read it. It's not like its being directed straight at you.


---- I know, this should be on the Dargans thread, but the principal remains -----

Sir,

I find it absolutely extraordinary that you should rush to defend what you perceive to be 'observation'.

The answer, Sir, is this: An officer does not carp, cavil, crab, or criticise the habits or customs of another Officer's Mess on a public forum.

It is not done, Sir; it is very bad form, Sir; it is bad mannered, Sir.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, to answer your general points in re: the criticism of officers:

Officers (from the C.O. downwards) set the the standards of behaviour within the Regiment, and whatever SNCO's, JNCO's or OR's may, or may not do, or say, is entirely irrelevant in the matter of an officer's behaviour.

If, as an officer, (and I take it that you are an officer) you resent being 'slagged off' (as you so vulgarly put it) then you may wish to reconsider your career options.

Of course, officers are constantly criticised and generally 'ribbed' by all other ranks, it comes with the honour and responsibility of holding Her Majesty's Commission. An officer, worthy of the name, however, will rise above criticism and 'ribbing', Sir, he will accept it with good grace and humour (should the occasion be appropriate) otherwise, he will be indifferent to it;he will be above it; he will not notice it, Sir.

I am getting on now, and I will admit that perhaps I am not au fait with current conventions, but I strongly suspect that there are certain standards that do not (or should not) change with the passage of time.

Your Servant Sir.
 
#16
I'm NOT a sir, thank you very much... and I was referring to the observations regarding NCOs use of language as the threads had been somewhat merged; hence my editing to clarify this, before someone had to go to the effort of pointing it out.

I would not expect an officer to rise to slagging off, but what officers choose to say in the mess away from ORs, is none of their business. By what you say, mess life would be just 'please, thank you, pass the salt', without any of the joking and banter which helps make army life what it is.

In my new unit I'm not getting half the abuse I used to, I actually quite miss it....
 
#17
tattybadger said:
Ozduke said:
Oh, just another Officer hater - how I've missed you and your ilk. Awfully clever how you've comined two threads into one.

Here you go - '. My most humble apologies.

Now hopefully we can have constructive banter.
What drove you to decide that I am an 'Officer' hater?

The only officers that irritate me are those that have an overdeveloped idea of their own station in life. You, my boy, seem to fit neatly into that category.

How clever that you prattle on about education etc and drop spelling mistakes into most posts that you write - perhaps it's too much port for you to handle?

I never had the DWR down as a particularly snooty organisation - all the Offrs, SNCOs and JNCOs that I met and served with from that org were straightforward, down-to-earth, professional men with the confidence to be able to mix socially and professionally with every other organisation in the Army without feeling the need to denegrate them.
With you on this one Tatty. Fellow is clearly better off where he is (and the tenor of his post seems to indicate that he finds his new life a world away from the high standards of behaviour and etiquette which he clearly espouses). Question is - should we have him back before or after we have quaffed the last bottle of plastic corked Orstrilian Vintage?
 
#18
Wyvern said:
I'm NOT a sir, thank you very much... and I was referring to the observations regarding NCOs use of language as the threads had been somewhat merged; hence my editing to clarify this, before someone had to go to the effort of pointing it out.

I would not expect an officer to rise to slagging off, but what officers choose to say in the mess away from ORs, is none of their business.wha By t you say, mess life would be just 'please, thank you, pass the salt', without any of the joking and banter which helps make army life what it is.

In my new unit I'm not getting half the abuse I used to, I actually quite miss it....

Madam?

You completely miss my point. Whatever is said and done in the Mess, stays in the Mess.

However, we are not in the Mess here, we are on a public forum.


How you extrapolate the notion that:

'By what you say, mess life would be just 'please, thank you, pass the salt', without any of the joking and banter which helps make army life what it is'

Is beyond my comprehension. There is a great deal of fun to be had in the Mess, and rightly so. I regard your interpretation of my words as either disingenuous or impertinent or both.

Your Servant Madam?
 
#19
Ok,
If an officer shouldn't poke fun at any of the ORs, he shouldn't do it to any of his fellow officers. There shouldn't be double standards. Hence why if your opinion was applied to mess life, it would be very sterile and dull.

Yes, I am a ma'am - as a medical cadet. However, I have been a Tpr/Pte for 4 years before that in the TA, and still have a long way to go before I actually figure out what it's like to be an officer, although I'm learning. I do know, however, that I wouldn't have minded in the least if I knew the officers/SNCOs etc took the piss - and I would (and still do) take to my officers more if they took part in the banter and gave as good as they got. I can't stand people who hold themselves aloof.

Yes it is a public forum, but how does posting a few amusing turns of phrase upset anyone? Unless, of course the person reading it is easily offended. I take any comments about females/gingers/officers/Catholics in good humour.. it's not a big deal. How is pointing out someones lack of understanding of English any different in pointing out their lack of geographical knowlege?

Relax a bit chuck, you really are taking life far too seriously.
 

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