This is a thread about stupidity. Not just being a bit of a mong, which most of us are guilty of every now and then (like the time I tried to cook a sausage by pinning it to the ends of two nails which I then inserted into a live plug socket). No, I'm talking about stunningly, gut-wrenchingly fcuking moronic. I'll give you an example. Many years ago I had to sit at hospital with a prisoner early one Saturday AM who was being dealt with by the CID for GBH. To cut a long story short, this Aussie had got pished and had an argument with another Aussie in the pub. As they left the pub he threw the guy into a plate glass shop window, slashing him down the face, chest and thigh and into the femoral artery. Obviously, he lost quite a lot of claret and although he was stable and not in a life-threatening condition, it was a pretty good collar for GBH. The victim was also keen to press charges. The suspect had himself slashed his arm quite badly, which was why he was in hospital as well. I'm sitting with him whilst we wait for the CID and, being a friendly, good-natured but utterly clueless Antipodean, he wants to chat with me. He starts talking about the night before. Remember, I was just the uniformed Pc sat there making sure he didn't fcuk off and have it on his toes. So I says to him, as per the book, "Look mate, you've been cautioned. So shut up and wait until you're interviewed because anything unsoliticited you say now will be written down. Understand?" This Aussie nods and looks at me in a "why-are-you-such-a-fcuking-spoilsport?" kind of way. Anyway, I get him onto sport. I find this fcuking eye-wateringly boring but I know Aussies can bang on about it for hours. Eventually he says, "anyway, I'm off to Bali on Monday, it's great there, you ever been?" I say to him, "er, excuse me shag, but you're nicked for GBH, what makes you think you'll be going anywhere on Monday?" Then he says it. Even now I can't believe it. "Oh, I'm not worried about that. I'll make bail then just fcuk off anyway." At this point I just sit in stunned silence. In full police uniform. "Just out of interest, why did you just tell me that?" I said. He shrugged and smiled cluelessly, just a complete fcukwit. He even signed my pocketbook after I wrote the comment down and asked him to countersign it. CID turn up and I say, "this bloke intends to jump bail to Bali on Monday, he readily admitted it and signed a contempraneous note." The DC shakes his head and walks me around the corner, "Are you an interviewing genius or is this bloke just a completely stupid cnut?" I had to admit it was the latter. So, telling a copper who's meant to escort you to nick that you intend to jump bail for a serious criminal offence must be some sort of record for complete stupidity. Any better ones than that? V!