Expressions That Make You Squeeze a Drop of Wee Out.


You Piece of CU NT!

8O I can see that you sat and put a lot of thought into what would entertain the members of the NAAFI....
"It needs to be done"

Not so much the phrase itself, just the implication that saying it makes it possible. Mind you, I'm on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster at the moment so odd things are striking me as funny. People closing doors, leaves falling off trees, genocide - that sort of thing.


Book Reviewer
"Ride me like you're in the Grand National!!"

Mind you, it wasn't a drop of wee I squeezed out.
So you fell off at the first jump did you?
Now that IS funny!
CU NT off didn't think of itself, buggrit!


Kit Reviewer
"Fcuk me, it's Pearl Harbour out here tonight!"

I chuckled for hours the first time I heard that.
Sweating like Jill Dando trying to get the key in! Wrong but funny.
Two of my favourites:

"A face like a melted welly" and "Thicker than a whale omelette"


Oh so many!

A few of my personal favourites;

"Teeth like Afghan webbing"

"Teeth like a fighting patrol"

"Face like a bit of melted Lego"

but the greatest (and one i've used on several occasions);

"Face like a beekeeper's apprentice" :D
Couldn't organise a fcuk up in a brothel
"Mad as a sack full of Badgers"

"Thick as an Elephants C0ck"

"As smart as a turd with a diploma"

I thought the expression "thick as an elephant's spunk" had replaced "cor Guv'nor its a right pea-souper tonight and no mistake" in the London Cabbies' dictionary? According to Jo Brand that is...

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