Exploding a popular male fantasy

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Vegetius, Jul 19, 2005.

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  1. Actually explode with excitement before you even get your strides off?

  2. Get stuck in without even saying anything?

  3. Go downstairs and have a think about it?

  4. Immediately set up a webcam?

  5. Feel hurt and betrayed by her infidelity?

  1. Let's face it, coming home to find your missus in the sack with her Crumpety Best Mate is a popular male fantasy, in fact I was only thinking about it this afternoon.

    Saying that, I was thinking about what I'd really do, as opposed to the porn-film-in-my-head response. Thing is, this happened to a very close friend of mine who we shall call Eddie (in fact his real name is Pete) and the results were surprising.

    Eddie/ Pete was living with this bird called Lisa (not her real name, that was Lorraine) who was, by any objective standard, a very attractive girl. One day he comes home and finds her in the sack, completely naked, getting jiggy with it with her best mate (can't remember what she was called). The shock of this totally unexpected development make Eddie/ Pete walk out and have a think about it.

    Lisa/ Lorraine comes down stairs, apologizes, says "it's one of those things" (?) and invites him upstairs to join in. Being (A) male and (B) a reaonably clever bloke he does so and enjoys an evening of threes-up heaven with two extremely lovely bi-babes.

    When he tells this story to the chaps in the pub, a few years on, you can hear a fcuking pin drop.

    Anyhoo, Lisa/ Lorraine suggests that her mate moves in and to cut a long story short they all end up living together and develop this rota for whos-fcuking-who. Sometimes my mate is with one bird, sometimes the other and sometimes both of them. Then he might not get any, but have to listen to the girls at it through the wall.

    He put up with it for three months then walked out.

    He put it down to jealousy. He really loved Lisa/ Lorraine and couldn't bear the thought of her sleeping with anybody else, and she wasn't prepared to give it up. He was really, really gutted. The fantasy had (tragically) turned into a living nightmare, albeit after three months of (his words) "non-stop kinky bi-babe porno sh*gging of a type you simply couldn't imagine in a million years."

    So, ladies and gentlemen, where do you stand? Fantasy or reality? Answer my poll and explode this popular male fantasy.

  2. Web cam, sell the rights, let arrse have a free link, then bin the bitc* and find some1 who only wants me, not me and her sister (well I am from Devon!)
  3. Would defo have to say the Web cam, as you can make a mint on the net, get her doing all the things she wouldnt normall and putting things everywhere, make her look like a complete whore, then once you get bored of it, (if you ever do, ditch her and send a copy to every one in her family, friends and also to her work place!

    Think she might get the message then, either that or a load of willing volunteers to perform in her next video
  4. Yuk......just the thought of a pile of rege T shirts and ron hills at the bottom of the bed is enough to turn me.........just think of it.....a mass of white flesh, tattoos, stretch marks, flab, cellulite.........cmon guys, get real!


  5. From the female perspective, I have to agree with your friend. Theory is better than practice here.

    1. In theory, everyone lives in a nonstop erotic haze of hot tag-team fcuking with no holds barred. Eventually you all get married in some weird three-way alternative religion thing and everyone's happy.

    2. In practice, it all goes t!ts-up when the girlfriend decides she likes you better and the boyfriend tries to run you over with his Pathfinder.

    At least, that's what I've heard.
  6. For me it would be the same as if I had caught her in bed with a a man. Gotta go with reality....
  7. Well one of the worst things that happened to one of our mates was he was on tour expecting a parcel from the mrs

    He was sat in the naffi with us ( his mates ) when the parcel arrived and he decided to show the video of his wife.
    in her sexy underwear.

    Unknown to him she had sent him a video of her having sex with the next door neighbour

    He was truly gutted by what had happened
  8. This is an old story that i feel you may have decided to use to meet your own needs.
    About some one send a bloke a food parcel saying hope you enjoy the pie, then realising when playing the video it was his dog.
    OR the the other one of a wife making a video of herself shagging the neighbour is another old one, please come back when you have some orginal storys!
  9. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Listen Codecnut you window-licking moonhowler, if you must plagiarise a story, at least try to find an obscure one for God's sake !
  10. J_D

    J_D LE

    Question you want to ask is in reality what would you do? The amount of lads I know who go on about wanting 2 lovely ladies in bed with them is outstanding. But when it comes down to it they all fcuking chicken out!
  11. Anya wrote:

    Only some, dear Anya, only some :wink:
  12. Oddly enough, Mr Fraulein claims that two ladies isn't a fantasy of his and he fast-forwards when watching "quality close-up movies". 8O What's wrong with the bloke? 8O

    So, no insights into/opinions about V's questions from here.
  13. I would grab a camcorder and give them some Cowboy loving, using all my skill as a pretend director/cameraman to keep the girls in shot and me out of focus :lol:

    Then when the relationship goes pear shapes I can seek revenge by sending the "Art film" to her parents and her work place/internet/Arrse. :twisted:
  14. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    It happened to a guy I knew. She kicked him out, mover her in and cut all her hair off.

    He had no way of fighting back and came close to a total breakdown.
  15. not me :D im up for adventure and experience, i may even drill you if you bring a pretty Cypriot girl along for the ride,