Explaining to Parents.

#1
Ladies and Gents.

I have just passed ADSC with a high A and the recruiter says I will be off to training around January. But in the mean-time how do I explain to family what RLC Ammo Techs actually do. I've just been telling them I'm trying to become a technician. The moment I mention bomb disposal Mum will go to pieces.

Any suggestions would be welcome.
 
#3
Man up and practice your steely eyed 1000 metre stare on her.
 
#4
Unless you are trying for a Wah then you have been well and truely mis informed.

a) there are No vacancies scheduled for Ammo Tech till at least June/July 2011 for adults and none for Junior Scheduled till after September 2011.

b) on completion of ADSc you must also go on an Ammo tech assessment board and be successful.

so either.

If been mis informed go and speak to your Recruiter and get information of what to do next and also speak with your parents.

OR

If trolling for a bite put it in the NAAFI and get abused.
 
#5
Time to practise that 1000 metre stare.
 
#6
I am is also going for RLC Ammo Tech, in fact I also passed ADSC in July with a high A and passed ATCAB in October. Just received my Phase I date for April 2011 - so The Iron is quite correct. It took from July to October for the ATCAB which was a drag. Need to pass this before they will consider giving you a date. There is often a long wait for this trade. Started my application last March.

As for your mum - she will understand. Mine does, she's been very supportive throughout the process. I really want to do bomb disposal as well, but she is happy that with Phase I training and Phase II training I won't be going anywhere soon (well that's what she thinks anyway). My mum thinks that my choice is a career move and will get me good qualifications for later in life and is proud that I want to do something constructive with my life. Just talk to her - she'll understand.

Good luck
 
#7
Erm thanks for the comments. I know about the assessment board- the recruiter is scheduling it. But they definitely said "Pirbright by April or January if you're lucky." Is this a case of wild optimism?

And thanks for the advice KJT- Mum took the news fine. She did say "YOU DID WHAT" though. The majority of my family have been military at some point, it was just mum I was worried about.
 
P

PrinceAlbert

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#8
Erm thanks for the comments. I know about the assessment board- the recruiter is scheduling it. But they definitely said "Pirbright by April or January if you're lucky." Is this a case of wild optimism?

And thanks for the advice KJT- Mum took the news fine. She did say "YOU DID WHAT" though. The majority of my family have been military at some point, it was just mum I was worried about.
You won't like her anyway once you've joined, and realised that she's a ******* civvy
 
#9
Ladies and Gents.

I have just passed ADSC with a high A and the recruiter says I will be off to training around January. But in the mean-time how do I explain to family what RLC Ammo Techs actually do. I've just been telling them I'm trying to become a technician. The moment I mention bomb disposal Mum will go to pieces.

Any suggestions would be welcome.
A little white lie on your part is, in my opinion, a more ethical act than burdening your family with worry. Put their minds at rest as best you can because long-term concern about your well being can be more stressful than a one-off event such as death or disfigurement.

(I don't say that with any professional psychological knowledge, it's just my experience both personally and vicariously.)
 
#10
A little white lie on your part is, in my opinion, a more ethical act than burdening your family with worry. Put their minds at rest as best you can because long-term concern about your well being can be more stressful than a one-off event such as death or disfigurement.

(I don't say that with any professional psychological knowledge, it's just my experience both personally and vicariously.)
Why should he lie? He can tell the truth, they support him and let him take his own direction in life or he can tell the truth, them try to deter and say he should not join and be well shot of them. What your saying is like someone being gay but lie to their family to keep them happy and dont worry what the family or neighbours think. To the OP it's your life do what you damn well please, your mum has had her life now it's time to live yours.
 
#11
Well I'm afraid it's too late for white lies. The first thing that came up on google when we typed in 11th EOD was the story of Olaf Schmid. This did not aid matters.
At least all the family knows that (If I do get in) it will be at least 5-6 years until I'm even considered for IED duties. In the meantime all the very best training is getting me ready for it.
 
#12
Why should he lie? He can tell the truth, they support him and let him take his own direction in life or he can tell the truth, them try to deter and say he should not join and be well shot of them. What your saying is like someone being gay but lie to their family to keep them happy and dont worry what the family or neighbours think. To the OP it's your life do what you damn well please, your mum has had her life now it's time to live yours.
Hard to say though, but you're damn right london_n ,totally agree !
 
#15
You've got to let your Mum know what you intend to do - chances are it wont matter that you wont be defusing bombs by Summer next year - to her that i swhere you're aiming to be and so she will just worry about it for longer, as it takes yo longer to get there.

Mums will worry - FACT - you must try to educate her to minimise the worry (if you're at all bothered and it sounds like you are). At some point either before I started my career, or just after RMAS, I watched Tears of the Sun (Bruce Willis, Navy SEAL blah - it was on TV or DVD by chance) - she went into full blub mode - the fact people were getting killed in the film doing humanitarian work, that it was hollywood mattered not a jot and that I wouldn't be extracting High Value Citizens a la special forces didn't help - it was a film depicting military and the down sides of the military life were evident.

I told her what I would be doing, how I would be trained, how the training prepares you as best a you can be etc.

She was still worried later when before I went to Baghdad (4 Black Hawk flights a week on average) to work with the Yanks I suggested we watch Black Hawk Down while I visited one time...(I think she'd got me a crap christmas present that year, so served her right -JOKING!!!).
 
#16
Why should he lie? He can tell the truth, they support him and let him take his own direction in life or he can tell the truth, them try to deter and say he should not join and be well shot of them. What your saying is like someone being gay but lie to their family to keep them happy and dont worry what the family or neighbours think. To the OP it's your life do what you damn well please, your mum has had her life now it's time to live yours.
Point taken, and I base my views to a large degree on experience:I used enthusiastically to recount stories to my father of experiences in the Army. At the time I thought that he'd be proud of what I'd done. It was only after he died that my mother told me that my stories had caused him huge emotional grief - me talking about derring-do and ecaping death and my dad thinking 'if my son carries on this way he'll die'.

It can be difficult to judge what your parents are thinking, but I'd still suggest that 'white lies' are kinder than telling the truth - had I lied a few years ago I would have save d my dad a lot of worry.
 
#17
Oyibo - countered with the fact that you tell someone (white) lies and they WILL come back to bite you. what if you hadn't told him, something had happened, he would have said "I had no idea my son was an underwater dems expert who died in a horrific accident - he said he taught swimming lessons". That would be worse...

Generally, telling family and friends (if they are genuinly concerned) the right amount of truth, bolstered with some green baffle (the good stuff about training to be the best, prepared for environment etc) should let them see that this is what you want to do, you accept the risks and you are a prepared as you can be. To have someone at home going bat-shit crazy with worry, which WILL affect you at work (if you in turn give a monkeys at all about that person) is not productive.

In the past I told girlfriends/wife/parents what they needed to know to keep them relatively happy. I left out unhelpful stuff that only you need to know and I provided more info if they asked more sticky questions. This may sound the same as telling white lies, but in my book, a trickle of selective info is different to actively giving false hope.
 
#18
That sounds like good advice django_strikes.

I applied for RMAS about 4 years ago, and when my parents found all the info, they ripped it up on me. Considering I'm Irish (live in Dublin) they gave me the whole "as a paddy, you'll be sent as fodder anywhere", "if you join the british army, we'll never speak to you" etc. This year, I decided to join as enlisted. Just went up and did my initial interview up north without telling my parents. They got suspicious of my day-trip, and called me on it - correctly and all!

In the end I fessed up, but continued on regardless. Once I went through exactly what I'd be doing, the training, the overseas, the danger, the mates, the experience, they came round. Having said that, I'm not gonna be tackling IEDs with a hammer and pliers!! Now they are quite supportive; the oul lady is buying herself a mobile phone that can use skype so she can talk to me when I'm abroad.
 
#19
Yer ma probably can't wait to get rid of you. The only thing she's scared about is if you come back incomplete and she has to look after you again.
 
#20
The moment I mention bomb disposal Mum will go to pieces.

Any suggestions would be welcome.
Use gaffer tape on her; we all do.
 

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