Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by range_glue, Jan 6, 2006.

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  1. Don't you just love them?

    Here's one I found earlier.........

    One day I hope to be THIS clever

    By not so popular demand, a quick and easy guide to all the budding Crawl planners out there:

    First of all know the difference between an organised Crawl and a Semi-impromutu P iss Up.

    An organised Crawl will have…

    At least one sober organiser
    A Theme or Reason
    A programme
    An understanding and regard for PerSec
    Entertainment value for ALL

    Recipe, in no particular order….

    One, adopt a cause. ARRSE crawls are great money making schemes. The GPR is the sites unofficial charity of choice, but if you are organising the Crawl then you can incorporate your cause into the financial side. Be up front and say how much is going where and why.

    Two, decide on a suitable location, this should be within easy reach of the whole of the country, i.e. a mainline station city or town with a good selection of pubs, clubs, and accommodation.

    Three, take a poll of a selection of dates. Avoid family committed dates, such as Easter weekend, also remember millionaires weekend… more people will attend an early month date then the second last weekend when skint!

    Four, tell them what they can expect. Sell the ideas to them and explain the rules of play. That way no one gets to b*tch about being in a dinner suit when everyone else is in Jeans and a Crawl T-shirt. (Unless you REALLY dislike them, then fair game to you!)

    Five, Tour T-shirts. Tour T-shirts can be a great money-maker, but a word of warning, get the cash up front! Being anal about paper work helps with this job!

    Six, publish the details of meeting places and Crawl routes for all to see, PM a contact number to all attending should they turn up late or get lost.

    Seven, PerSec and cameras. Agree on this well BEFORE the crawl and make sure EVERYONE is aware of the decision made. It’s easier to have ONE digital camera that the organiser can pass around and a few disposable that they have returned to them at the end of the night (remember to cost these in the budget!!!) Individuals then have the option to remain totally anonymous and no ‘surprise’ pictures appear anywhere to bite them on their ARRSE.

    Eight, games. Organising a few basic games, one per pub, will help break the ice early on, and encourage people to mingle through out the night. Winners are Peg, and Chat-up Lines, well maybe not Chat-up Lines, it got the Christmas 2004 Crawlers barred en masse from the first pub they hit!

    So there you have it, a few basics to organising an ARRSE Crawl….
  2. Don't forget that to be REALLY succesful, 90% of the attendees must be civilians or members of the TA, preferably female and have an ongoing competition to see who can fcuk the most squaddies. This is extremely important as it sets them above their peers in the "civvy skiplicking society"

    Oh, the squaddies must be married too as the 'ho receives more street cred for this. If they dip out regarding the thick, meaty and perfectly defined penis of the military superman they may opt for the civilian, wilted, button mushroom variety.
  3. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    And to be even more successful - leave the event open to everyone so the cnuts who complain, moan, bitch but don't bother putting their hands in their pockets 'cos their wife/carer/mum won't let them look even bigger tw@ts. Isn't that right Door Bundle, you unsocial git?
  4. You dull old cnut. First it is anti-social not unsocial and second why the fcuk aren't you in the ground yet.
  5. Careful mate or there'll be crying, complaining, whining and b1tching leading to complete thread deletions, threats of banning, excile to "secret places" and fishing expeditions bigger than Spielbergs.
  6. What? Again? That will be the 4th time in the last 24 hrs.

    Have we all turned either gay/full on PC/ecologically sound/or just fcuking stupid without being told?

    This isn't the Women's Auxillary Balloon Corps FFS

  7. Ahem, point of order, my Septic Stalker! :D

  8. We should be thankful that they all go out on the pi55 at the same time. It means the site is free from fat, annoying walts and c0ck hungry munters for at least a few hours. Anyone who makes a complaint on how they are spoken to on here clearly needs to poke their face into a threshing machine.

  9. [​IMG]

    Thought you were on tour with SAGA?

    Or spending your winter fuel payment on Buckfast :oops:
  10. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Harry W - it is better to be a coffin dogder than brain dead like you.

    ctauch - as perhaps the one person on here who would not recognise 'social' if it bit him in the arrse I find your comment a bit rich. Why I am not in the ground yet? cos I have more life in my sh1te than you have in your whole body you brainless feckwit.

    range-glue - which of the new year fuckwits are you the reincarnation of? Lots of posts in a very short time - are you trying for the quickest banning in arrse history?

    aunty stella - you are becoming very repetitive and boring - still that is the sign of people who can't move with the times.

    Not one of the above posters has done anything other than indicate they will not be coming to any arrse crawls (probably because they are so ugly they are not allowed out in public) yet, as usual are willing to decry anyone who looks like having a good time.

    So, you negative fuckwits, live by your own mantra - If you don't like what it says in the post, this is NAAFI so feck off.
  11. Try to ban me you old fanny

    [b]What has this thread got to do with attending ANY alleged 'Crawl'?[/b]

    I like everything it says in this post you c0ck. You 'feck' off, as you put it.

    Feel free to stop 'dodging the coffin' whenever you like
  12. Very eloquently put, Auld-Yin! Top man!
  13. Hat crab mong
  14. and ..... ? :?
  15. Hat: n Shortened form of 'Craphat' or, in your case 'Hat B astard' person or persons not possessing the required personal gumption; someone not able to pass P-Coy; those recruits yet to qualify as paras. Most personnel in the RAF

    Crab: Surely you should know this one fella? n Person belonging to and wearing the appropriate uniform of the RAF. [Crabs] n A barely military bunch of chav mincers, who labour under the illusion that they are a fine group of men. (See 'Hat Bastard')

    Mong n. Imbecile, idiot. Offensive expression alluding to someone with Down Syndrome, being Mongoloid. Derog.
    Verb. To reach a drugged state where activity is on a low and mental faculties are incapacitated

    Do you understand or do I have to draw you a picture?