Exercise Stereotypes

#1
I've just finished a CFX at STANTA and witnessed these two during the exercise.

USMC/Drop Zone/Silverman's Catalogue Man (Also known as Kit Slag).

He no longer has webbing as we all knew it, he is just a mass of dump pouches and leg holsters. Nothing about his person costs less than 45 quid. As soon as he found out MTP was being issued, he was scrouring the web to replace the thousands of pounds worth of kit he owns in the now defunct DPM.

On the other end of the scale - Issue Kit Man.

Has never, and will never buy a piece of kit. If it's not issued he doesn't want to know about it. Still can be seen wearing a scrim scarf.
 
#3
I've just finished a CFX at STANTA and witnessed these two during the exercise.

USMC/Drop Zone/Silverman's Catalogue Man (Also known as Kit Slag).

He no longer has webbing as we all knew it, he is just a mass of dump pouches and leg holsters. Nothing about his person costs less than 45 quid. As soon as he found out MTP was being issued, he was scrouring the web to replace the thousands of pounds worth of kit he owns in the now defunct DPM.

On the other end of the scale - Issue Kit Man.

Has never, and will never buy a piece of kit. If it's not issued he doesn't want to know about it. Still can be seen wearing a scrim scarf.
Nowt wrong with a scrim scarf.
 
#4
Webtex man
 
#5
What about " Gortex addict "
You see these cunts fully clad before you get even a wiff of moisture . , slightest bit of discomfort for these throbbers is a complete no no.




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#6
Commonwealth 1157 magnet man. Acts as if he was born on the surface of the sun, donning every single piece of warm kit he's been issued. Keeps it all on until endex and acts as though h e's been locked in a freezer for 8 hrs despite the ambient temperature being a balmy 12C. Has a similar productive output to that of a Hobnob biscuit.
 
#7
On the other end of the scale - Issue Kit Man.

Has never, and will never buy a piece of kit. If it's not issued he doesn't want to know about it. Still can be seen wearing a scrim scarf.
Clearly we have met. I rather like my scarf, and consider it VERY ally (cut down to an appropriate size of course). It has been widely admired in recent years.

I did buy a mapcase once though.
 
#9
What about those cunts who socialise in the gym rather than smashing big weights

Seen on a friday afternoon pumping their little sticks up for the night out
 
#10
What about those cunts who socialise in the gym rather than smashing big weights

Seen on a friday afternoon pumping their little sticks up for the night out
Then the fucking thread would be called 'Gym/PT Stereotypes', wouldn't it
 
#11
What about those cunts who socialise in the gym rather than smashing big weights

Seen on a friday afternoon pumping their little sticks up for the night out
Wrong sort of exercise mate. It was all much clearer when what is now called an Exercise, was called a Scheme. of course this was when we had a proper bolt action 10 round rifle.
 
#14
The REMF- has time to sit around and check out other peoples kit.
Fair one. I've got nothing better to do all day other than check out other blokes kit as I service me mobile bath and laundry unit. Which reminds me, I might buy a MTP Molle, drop leg, dump pouch to put my washing powder in.
 
#15
Commonwealth 1157 magnet man. Acts as if he was born on the surface of the sun, donning every single piece of warm kit he's been issued. Keeps it all on until endex and acts as though h e's been locked in a freezer for 8 hrs despite the ambient temperature being a balmy 12C. Has a similar productive output to that of a Hobnob biscuit.
But in fairness to the F & C, they're only following sartorial "Best Practice", taken from the Ghurka Engineer lead there.

(Apologies to any readers that also end up with a bit of vomit in their mouths when considering the blight of "Best Practice" and "Total Quality").
 
#16
Fair one. I've got nothing better to do all day other than check out other blokes kit as I service me mobile bath and laundry unit. Which reminds me, I might buy a MTP Molle, drop leg, dump pouch to put my washing powder in.
Is THAT what they're for?!! I've been using one for Haribo and Jelly Babies.
My brand new MTP-never-been-or-ever-will-be-used-on-Ops Man Bag, is used for carrying 6 cans of coke and a selection box of sandwiches, scotch eggs and mini-sausage rolls.
I am in the Signals after all, don't you know
 
#17
'The civvie who is too old for the regs'
Spends hundreds of pounds on all the latest webbing, clothes and boots yet only wears them a couple of times a year on Army/Air Cadet weekend exercises. Can talk with Cadets about military equipment as if he develops and tests it himself from spending hours each day trawling through the net.
 
A

allgone2ratsh1t

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#18
Leatherman multitool man. Has it but never needs to use it. Bit like me as a bowsermong.
 
#19
'The civvie who is too old for the regs'
Spends hundreds of pounds on all the latest webbing, clothes and boots yet only wears them a couple of times a year on Army/Air Cadet weekend exercises. Can talk with Cadets about military equipment as if he develops and tests it himself from spending hours each day trawling through the net.
Normally follows up on the talk with the cadets by carrying out a full practical demonstration.

On how to try and make a 14 year old boy pregnant.
 
#20
The I have my admin rammed right up my SHITEBOX man.... Kit hanging out the back of his webbing, waterproofed kit with tesco carrier bags or lack of it. Wet kit in bergen due to poor admin, crushed rations that have exploded... lack of equipment and contstantly borrowing your kit. Liability in the field and should never have passed out.... Also moans like fuck when a bit damp and cold... basically a useless cunt......Same as the last time a doris who was in the field on a SNCO carde with me and stated to me " This I the first time I have been on exercise, since training." I asked "how long have you been in the army????" She replies 10 years". Cue me go into rant "Why the fuck are you on this course???????????"
 
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