Excuses for not going to work

DieHard

LE
Book Reviewer
#1
As i am now officially signed off for 2 months with a dodgy kidney it got me thinking to some of the excuses people use,from the normal like i got the shits , to the weird.
One i heard and it was confirmed to me , was when someone said he was locked in a public toilet all night.
Anyone got any good ones for future use? Be they weird or normal :roll:
 
#2
I always preferred the direct approach:

To the Boss........ 'You're a Cnut - and I can't be arrsed to come in today".


I've been unemployed for quite a while now - but my principles are intact!


.
 
#3
Whilst serving in Aldershot and working in the qms our beloved captain qm decided that none of us should go to work - he wanted to go to the centenary test at lords - cunning man - he closed the department for stock taking - got hold of a mini bus and orft we went to lords (the whole department) - everything went smimmingly - glorius day, beer, cricket - the nursery end at lords - heaven - until one of the aussies hit a four down the ground - a colleague picked ball up and thru back - thinking nothing more of it. following day oc squadron carpeted the lot of us - apparently he had a tv in his office to watch the cricket - followed the ball down the ground and caught us all red handed - marched in in rank order - capt first - the qmes department was ord officer/ord sgt/guard commander/duty clerk whatever - day on day off for a month.
 
#4
You could always use this one, mainly when you are late but I think it is a nice GS type excuse:

“Sorry I’m late, I was knocking one out”

That usually has the effect of stopping the boss dead in his tracks.

And they never want to shake your hand after that as well!
 
#5
I'm Contemplating throwing in a biff chit for today. :wink:
8hrs making computer servers does not appeal today :lol:
 
#6
I chucked a sickie this morning with the excuse that my eldest has chicken pox - he doesn't, but he did last month and I regretted not using it then. The bonus is that our youngest will undoubtedly "get it again" next week.

Right - off to the pub.
 
E

error_unknown

Guest
#7
OSACIN said:
Whilst serving in Aldershot and working in the qms our beloved captain qm decided that none of us should go to work - he wanted to go to the centenary test at lords - cunning man - he closed the department for stock taking - got hold of a mini bus and orft we went to lords (the whole department) - everything went smimmingly - glorius day, beer, cricket - the nursery end at lords - heaven - until one of the aussies hit a four down the ground - a colleague picked ball up and thru back - thinking nothing more of it. following day oc squadron carpeted the lot of us - apparently he had a tv in his office to watch the cricket - followed the ball down the ground and caught us all red handed - marched in in rank order - capt first - the qmes department was ord officer/ord sgt/guard commander/duty clerk whatever - day on day off for a month.
I got caught out in similar vein when supposed to be on study leave from school for A levels (many years ago), thanks to the combination of wearing conspicuous rugby shirt and one I T Botham carting the New Zealanders to all parts of Trent Bridge
 
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