Excuses for not going to work

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by DieHard, Nov 7, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. DieHard

    DieHard LE Book Reviewer

    As i am now officially signed off for 2 months with a dodgy kidney it got me thinking to some of the excuses people use,from the normal like i got the shits , to the weird.
    One i heard and it was confirmed to me , was when someone said he was locked in a public toilet all night.
    Anyone got any good ones for future use? Be they weird or normal :roll:
  2. I always preferred the direct approach:

    To the Boss........ 'You're a Cnut - and I can't be arrsed to come in today".

    I've been unemployed for quite a while now - but my principles are intact!

  3. Whilst serving in Aldershot and working in the qms our beloved captain qm decided that none of us should go to work - he wanted to go to the centenary test at lords - cunning man - he closed the department for stock taking - got hold of a mini bus and orft we went to lords (the whole department) - everything went smimmingly - glorius day, beer, cricket - the nursery end at lords - heaven - until one of the aussies hit a four down the ground - a colleague picked ball up and thru back - thinking nothing more of it. following day oc squadron carpeted the lot of us - apparently he had a tv in his office to watch the cricket - followed the ball down the ground and caught us all red handed - marched in in rank order - capt first - the qmes department was ord officer/ord sgt/guard commander/duty clerk whatever - day on day off for a month.
  4. You could always use this one, mainly when you are late but I think it is a nice GS type excuse:

    “Sorry I’m late, I was knocking one out”

    That usually has the effect of stopping the boss dead in his tracks.

    And they never want to shake your hand after that as well!
  5. I'm Contemplating throwing in a biff chit for today. :wink:
    8hrs making computer servers does not appeal today :lol:
  6. I chucked a sickie this morning with the excuse that my eldest has chicken pox - he doesn't, but he did last month and I regretted not using it then. The bonus is that our youngest will undoubtedly "get it again" next week.

    Right - off to the pub.
  7. I got caught out in similar vein when supposed to be on study leave from school for A levels (many years ago), thanks to the combination of wearing conspicuous rugby shirt and one I T Botham carting the New Zealanders to all parts of Trent Bridge