I spent most of Wednesday afternoon/evening locked out of my flat, armed only with a packet of fags, a tin of chopped tomatoes, a copy of the evening news and 83p in change. No phone and no wallet. While sitting on the step I got to thinking about a lot of things, the cause of piles was one, but I did get to thinking of things Holy and whether or not the Pope excommunicates any more. What do you have to do to be dammed to Hell forever? Sadly a Jehovah Witness did not come knocking for me to ask these sorts of questions. Other than raping alter boys or forming your own church to get a quickie divorce what will get you kicked of Gods list?