ex sqaddie songwriter wants Sqaddies opinions on lyrics

Discussion in 'Films, Music and All Things Artsy' started by ex22yrcfn, Jul 1, 2010.

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  1. ex 22yr sqaddie wants comments (by guys on current or recent ops)on a song I've written, Ive uploaded it to youtube (links at the bottom) lyrics are in the comments box below the viewing screen (expand them) I'm not a guitarist, but i'd love to hear thoughts on the lyrics relavence to boys on ops, your thoughts on possible changes

    reply via youtube if you wish.
    cheers gez

    gonna pitch it to billy bragg! (maybe not)

    Thanks for all comments pulled it from youtube so not to offend further, 1st attempt remember! keep safe on Ops!
  2. dude!! would you want a mother with a son in afghan to hear that? do you think it will bring any comfort to friends and family?

    i dont
  3. It's dogsh1t.
  4. Awful song and the lyrics are poor. I certainl wouldnt want families of soldiers serving out there to hear it

    You should be shot!!!

    :x :x :x :x :x
  5. Guaranteed chart material then.
  6. That's just bad
  7. It's just a sh1t song, no need to call for the blokes head on a platter. :D
  8. sod em all fella, better than they and I could do. carry on with it n send it to Billy Bragg
  9. Anti war song on the Premier Military Website in the country. Go for it dude. 8)

    You are Durchy, you are ex Binfantry and I claim my 10p. :)
  10. I prefer the Amazing__Lobster dubstep version:



    Can get the link to work; even the vuvezela player can't stand it.

    Although tbh, it's not terrible, and maybe a bit catchy :)
  11. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Bragg's a pacifist and wouldn't touch it, although I can see why you thought of him.

    I really thought that I was going to hear something truly crap, but actually it's got potential, but you need to change a few things.

    The balance is wrong and to sort that out you either need to double verse, or add two more verses; and don't start with the chorus, it's like jumping into a story half way through.

    Post-mortem songs are fecking daft most of the time - think Tell Laura I love Her etc.

    Change the theme to injured and you may have something (and that means losing the WB reference which I think that you should anyway). Instead go injury-> Lynham-> Selly Oak-> Headley->Aftermath. That gives you a) a protest song and b) the extra verses.

    Slow the tempo down a bit, same pitch and melody (which actually aren't that bad), and it'll have more impact. Have a listen to Harvey Andrew's original version of Soldier in comparison to rock versions and you'll see what I mean.

    Lose the word Rock in Rock Drill, it makes you sound like a crab.
  12. Off the fence gentlemen please
  13. Fuck me he's the new Bono!
  14. After 22 years in the green and a bit of duff hearing the least you could have done was provide some subtitles you GIT!

    You thrashed the guitar too much to allow the words to be heard properly. As in previous posts, listen to Harvey Andrews and not just the Soldier song. There are plenty of songs on his Writer of Songs LP to give you some inspiration.

    To the rest of the arrsers out there, do not condemn to quickly a fledglings first attempt at flying from the nest.

    But if he hits the ground with a thud, "Smithers, release the hounds."
  15. After managing to see the lyrics on the tube, 50 % are goodish, but with some changes it could turn out to be a decent song.