Ex-Signaller bullsh*tting??

I'm just after some information and confirmation of my suspicions of time served of someone i work with, (my manager) because he is a massive bullshitter. I'm an ex-Sapper having done my 4 and a half years service, and I think he is bigging up his time served and his experiences to make him look good in front of the naive civvies on our shift, whom he thinks he's impressing, only because they are half interested in my time served and otherwise the attention is away from him.

My manager at work claims to have been ex-Signals and claims he served 3 years. I don't doubt he was ex-Signals as anyone in their right mind trying to big themselves up would claim to be Marine, Para, SAS or something more "front line", rather than a signaller or in fact a sapper.

He claims he did his basic training at Arborfield Apprentice College, which if true would mean he was there from around 1997-2000 , as he is now in his early thirties (I can't remember his exact age). He is always talking about his time in "basic at Arborfield" so I don't doubt this.

He said that the trade he did/was going to do was one where he would get promoted on completion, so after a quick wiki search that would narrow it down to Communications System Engr or Electronic Warfare Operator ? There may have been similar trades back then that no longer exist, I don't know. He said on leaving he paid for his own HGV license. He either did a trade that didn't require one or in reality left before he could do his.

I believe he once said the trade he chose would take him around 7 years to do as an apprentice (which is absolute bollocks as a Clerk of Works course in the RE is 2 years long) He may have been referring to seven years to become Class 1 tradesman rather his specific trade training, but he has never mentioned or hinted at this.

He said his reason for leaving was because he was unhappy the Army fucked him about regards his posting. He said he should have been posted to Cyprus, where his trade was needed, rather than N.I. where his trade was not required.(Likely story, it's warfare not welfare, you get posted where you're needed). I think he meant that he wouldn't be doing his specific trade in N.I, instead he'd be doing his basic signalling trade, although I could be wrong and that he threw his dummy out because he didn't get the sunshine tour he wanted.

He seems to always copy my squaddie slang, put downs and insults that I acquired from my time, which has become so annoying! It's almost a real life parody of the Simpsons episode where Bart becomes the "I didn't do it" kid where everyone copies his catchphrases. He never talked like a squaddie before and I think he is doing it so some of it rubs off on him to confirm to others his outlandish "career". Even his arse licking civvy lackey who follows him everywhere has started talking like someone who's served.

I'd like to know the following;

- Where would he have done his trade training after Arborfield in the late 90's/2000 ? I know it is now Bordon, but was it the same then? He doesn't seem to mention much about Bordon or any other establishment other than Arborfield.

- Would the trade he have chosen taken 7 years from basic? Even if he did really mean his Class 1 quals?

- Are there really any trade specific postings to just Cyprus? I think not, but I'd just like confirmation.

- He never mentions being posted to any particular regiment or any tour or exercise outside the confines of basic trg. Would it have been possible for him to have been in a holding troop in his so called "third year" before leaving?

- He claims to have done his minimum service of 3 years, which I think is bullshit. When was the minimum service raised from 3yrs to 4yrs? Also, if he was Army Apprentice college would he have had to wait until his 18th birthday until his minimum service starts? I know that is the case now, but was it the same back then?

If he had been honest and said he left because he didn't like it then fair enough, at least he's honest and has the integrity to say it's not for him. But to big up what appears to be nothing more than an attempt at training is a bit low. I know he's not one of those "walts" per say but he clearly hasn't done what he claims, and it isn't to try and get his end away.
If anyone can help me clear a way through his smoke and mirror bullshit I would appreciate it. I plan on questioning his service infront of the rest of the shift and be-little him as he is an all round cock-cheese and deserves being shown up for the nosher that he is, he is all ways jacking on blokes and stitching them up regards holidays, overtime etc, and goes to any length he can get away with to make himself look good at others expense.

This may seem petty to some, but it really grits my shit that he is is talking bollocks when others, Signallers included, have paid the ultimate sacrifice in doing the job he seems to embellish. He may be telling the truth (mostly) and if so I apologise for being a mong, however his stories do not add up.

whats his full name?...pm me
Everything he's said is perfectly feasible. I'm 30 and went to Arborfield as an Apprentice Tradesman, then onto Blandford for trade training which is where he would of gone unless he was Electronic Warfare. I too went to Cyprus for my first posting, so assuming he didn't have a sneaky beaky posting it's quite possible I may have worked with him.

Being a **** doesn't mean he wasn't in the Signals.
So you don't like your boss.

Is he ruining your limelight? Gutted because his dits are better than yours?

I've not liked some of my bosses, but even though their career has been questionable, I had little reason to question them being commissioned Officers.
******* hell..scaleys at AAC Arborfield, didn't happen in my day (75C), they went to Harrogate.
" whom he thinks he's impressing, only because they are half interested in my time served and otherwise the attention is away from him."

The most important sentence in your whole whine. He is getting attention that you seem to think you deserve, because you have some half arsed career as a sapper Grow up you sad twat.
Our disgruntled ex Sapper may have nothing to worry about.
As the 'interesting' Sigs bloke is the Boss perhaps the other employees are only feigning interest in the hopes of getting out of work, receiving favourable reports or just general brownnosing.

Nah, after rereading his OP he's a boring, obsessed, Nigel No Mates.
96C was the first Royal Signals intake at Arborfield. If he was the youngest on that intake he would be about 31 now.
call him out during the weekly staff meeting! put your money where your mouth is

PS short time throbber

Love and kisses theGimp
Thanks for those replies, they're all constructive in their own way. I wasn't questioning his service in the Signals and it's not the attention thing that some have quoted, not at all. I couldn't give a shit about the attention. That was said tongue in cheek and not as an actual gripe, apologies for not making it clear enough.

I don't doubt he was Signals, I only doubted his "reasons for leaving" and whether it was feasible for someone who joined at Arborfield to serve his "3 years" as an apprentice. He claims he did his minimum service and left because the Army messed him about. He may be correct and his service genuine, hence the question marks in the thread title,but some of his stories don't add up. Not having been in the Sigs I enquired to see if any of it was true and to what extent. I'm sure his minimum service would have started from his 18th birthday rather than when he actually joined, which meant the minimum he would have done is 5 years? He may have Discharged as of Right, but he never mentions it.

I think in retrospect my original post was a bit of a whinge, but I just put down all the things that I had in my head that didn't add up or I needed clarifying.

Don't worry, if he really is a bullshitter then I will call him out, have no doubt about it. If he's genuine then fair enough, I'll wind my neck in.

Thanks again
Call him out and I reckon he'll push your face in.


Book Reviewer
I too am an ex sapper , but i never ever tell staff about my training only about the time spent on the piss and being in a spastic sqn of which i was the chief spastic. I did tell an ex sas bod recently that i was the third man on the balcony and he was starting to be impressed until i told him i was carrying the tray with tea and bickies for the lads .I will allways give my number if asked for by the appropriate lady .

Trip the sod up by mentioning kit that was out of date even for Korea. Failing that pop over to face book " i'm a sapper I 'm ubique " for a better class of abuse . God is Armoured .
I rarely talk about my service days unless it involves Whelking. A much more effective method of getting kudos is to adopt the thousand yard stare and say things like "It's in the past; No, I was elsewhere; mine was a very minor role; No, but I know people who did; Never mind, it's history now; It was just a job; There are people who did far more than me".

And if you want to walt it up a bit you can respond with some of the following: "It took years of counselling to stop the nightmares and I don't want them to start again; Yeah I killed a few. It was always at night though and the bodies had always gone by morning; Yeah, I was with R Sqn; Spent most of my time on the border, made several crossings, some of us never made it back." Ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

Edited to add: And one of the best I ever heard was from a former WO1 ex Rhodesian army talking to a bunch of yoghurt knitting ladies in the bar of the Polana hotel, Moz,

I entered the bar just in time to see the bloke with his crew cut, thousand yard stare, leatherman on the belt, khaki bush trousers and shirt and veldtshoen and heard him say: "Jah, I prefer to work alone, because the only person you can rely on in a minefield is yourself. After so many years working in minefields, I have a sixth sense. I can sense when the mines are close, it's almost like they communicating with me."

Outstanding stuff and not a hint of a blush.
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