Everything coming up Jebote

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Jebote, Dec 23, 2011.

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  1. To add to the general Christmas shite that is unavoidable

    I have just been informed that the usual Christmas lunch at my Brother in laws place that is boring, inedible requires two vehicles to get there, has elderly people involved, moody teenagers and having to listen to directions from my Father in law to a place I have driven to many, many times before and is an all round pain in the fucking hoop has been cancelled due to the Brother in law being tired (possibly lost some of the details in translation, but I reckon he is skint). Everyone upset about the excuse given, personally I am quietly wandering around whistling Zippedy doo dah. The same thing for the best part of part of a decade coming back late evening on the 25th hungry, stressed and eating cheese on fucking toast before moodily stomping off to bed.

    Well not this year boys its gonna be Bond and meat sandwich left overs, pickled onions courtesy of the pickling thread, cold beer no driving you see and big screen TV not that tight cunts poxy 32 inch TV, that he insists on showing me how many channels he can receive on his satellite dish with a motor and multi fucking box thing. Every year, EVERY FUCKING YEAR! Whats the point of having all that without a decent telly to look at it you thick twat.

    Anyway, anyone else beginning to see their Christmas starting to look up.
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  2. Well I have got the mother-in-law coming to stay over Christmas for the first time in 25 years!

    She has just had a big falling out with the rest of the wifes relations so we are the only ones left.

    Now I can hear you all thinking "Whats so good about that"?

    She is well over 70 and fucking minted so a re-write of the will is definetly on the cards :muhaha::skull::money:
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  3. Minimal shopping complete, just about to log off at work then out for an early dinner tonight in Marylebone. Xmas lunch on the day at a nice hotel in our village, then home for telly and tea.

    Kids both working so won't be around to bug me. Just me and Mrs PMU.

    Sorted. Merry Christmas and God Bless us Every One!
  4. BrunoNoMedals

    BrunoNoMedals LE Reviewer

    Recently married, so mother is deciding to host us... and my new in-laws. If that isn't tedious enough, my teenage sister has decided to announce she's pregnant and is now in a strop because I called her a stupid cunt. Roll on 2012. And the apocalypse.
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  5. Just finished some last minute shopping, turkey and lobster to defrost, then prepare it all tomorrow, got no intention of going anywhere near the bloody shops tomorrow.

    Just me and my wife and the cats sprawled around a blazing fire on Christmas Day.

    All the best to you, especially those who can't be at home with their loved ones.....
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  6. Anyone we know?
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  7. Blinding Christmas planned.....pot noodle and whatever Beefers is showing.
  8. Going for drinks tonight with blondie. Going for drinks tomorrow with black haired one. Jobber jobbed on the presents - money to her indoors and her son. Buffet already bought. Lookin' good so far - plan seems flawless.
  9. Working all Christmas for a very well known Arabic News Broadcaster based in Knightsbridge. Good pay - but they give you the stinkeye if you stagger back mid afternoon from the boozer(of which there are several good examples hereabouts)

    Better still: unless the local story is of international relevance there is no chance I will be needed to cover it - so it's easy street for the next few days. Mind...last Christmas ever some fucking play write died and buggered things up.
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  10. The ones I know are wenches are


    Hopefully they won't have seen the evilness that you went out with before....if they have, you won't be getting a shag.
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  11. Shopping to be done tomorrow, I find it concentrates the mind doing it last min.

    Xmas dinner at a friend of the family who is over on 3 year secondment from the US. Mad keen cook so wants to do a traditional American Christmas dinner, WTF that is I don't know, I imagine huge portions with higher fat content?
  12. This may happen, but be prepared to be whipped and your arrse dildoed with a huge strap on. You know how depraved these arrse wenches can be.
  13. That has to be done outside, so I don't think it's that. And your answer is the full extent of knowledge of American Christmas cuisine.
  14. looking good at the moment, fully stocked with beer, spirits and food, will unplug landline tomorrow having told everyone in the family we are going away, sadly mobile battery will have expired, feet up, telly on, quiet life, fucking bliss!!
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  15. As a well known Chritmas hater I am actually starting to feel festive. The 23rd is always a tricky day as it is the aniversay of two close friends dying tragically, so I make it a day of recollection and positive thoughts about how life is precious (if fleeting). 0A is in the kitchen making mince pies, there are a couple of really rather decent bottles of vino ready for the big day and we have no relations coming at all.