Every Dads worst nightmare

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by longlivethequeen, Jan 6, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Right chaps hear goes my oldest female sprog has fallen in love with a chap and wants to move in with him.
    How ever she is in her third year of reading law at uni and wants to jack it in,needless to say I am not best amused neither is the othe half.
    The boy friend is a nice chap with a good job and own house you can see that they really get on well with each other, but he wants her to bin uni which I think is bloody daft she is doing really well and is predicted to get a first.

    Over Christmas he asked me about how I felt about him poping the question to her you can imagine what I said it goes something like Fuck Off no way.
    She is very very bright and I would be gutted to see a good career thrown away at the moment I am wining the battle to keep her at uni but every time she sees him she turns in to a love struck mong.

    Should I have another chat to him and try to make him understand that my daughter is looking at a good career that would benefit them both in the long run or take a base ball bat to him?
  2. Serious answer - he wants to control her and that will be easier if she lacks the ability to have her own career.

    Normal answer - you're just jealous 'cos you wanted to break her in yourself.
    • Like Like x 13
    • Like Like x 6
  3. I'd have the chat - take the wife as well so it doesnt seem that your leaning on him too much. Bit off that he's keen on her quitting uni though, in the long term if he's intent on making a proper go of it with your daughter it can only be a good thing.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Show him your gun collection and your souvenirs from the enemy corpses.
    • Like Like x 13
  5. Is he older than her by any chance and women his own age want fuck all to do with him?
    • Like Like x 2
  6. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    we could arrange for him to spend a few months in the back of jarrods rape van if that helps.
    • Like Like x 5
  7. Why does he want her to bin uni? There are no immediately obvious advantages to doing that. All it does is limits her options later in life. And it is perhaps that that is the worrying thing here. Behaviour like that by a partner can be (can be, not necessarily is) an indicator of a controlling personality. Control can evolve over time into worse - violence and abuse. Even if stated to be for reasons like "I want to provide for her" then OK, but what do you want for her? What do you expect her to be doing during the day? Staying in? Not going out? Not having a social circle of her own?

    Surely if he loves her and wants the best for her then he would support her uni and career ambitions? She should think very carefully to make sure she is doing the right thing.
    • Like Like x 21
  8. Have a chat with boyfriend in a friendly way on neutral ground like a quiet pub say.
    And explain that you want to see your daughter happy, but she also needs to finish her uni course.
    Tell him how much it would mean to her to get her degree & that she has worked hard for it.
    Mention how proud you and your wife are of her etc.

    Does she have student debt?
    If she leaves uni early will the boyfriend pay it off?
    At this stage be firm but gentle.
  9. Buzz also has a point - is he by any chance older than her?
  10. Be a real waste if she binned uni. so close to the end! If he is a decent bloke he will see this for himself, if he's c*nt he will try and force the issue!
  11. Yeah, that.

    Three yearseffort invested, student loans to repay (?), a potential first and she wants to bin it? Silly cow.

    Tell her to seek the advice of some grown-ups that she'd pay attention to..
  12. Is this chap called Iqbal by any chance?
  13. As several others have said he is obviously driven by a desire to be in control, the question is why does her graduation threaten him?

    Did he never go to university and so feels that a graduate spouse makes him less of a man?
    Does he have a history of controlling women?
    Is he older and looking for a "little woman/girl"?

    I would be very worried in this situation. In a similar situation, and yes I do have a daughter of a similar age, I would be explaining to him that if she packs in university before graduating or if he interferes with her post graduate career he will find himself face down in a deep fat fryer with a frozen cod wound up his catflap.

    This is too serious to fuck about with.
    • Like Like x 11