Everest Newsagents To Close



Reuters - News shop proprietors announced the closure of Everest summit Kebab cum souvenir cum newsagents shops on the summit of Mount Everest, the highest point on the planet, the roof of the world. The mountain, which is part of the Himalaya range in High Asia, is on the border between Sagarmatha Zone, Nepal, and Tibet, China. Everest has claimed over 200 lives, including eight who perished during a 1996 storm, and one who choked to death. Conditions are so difficult in the death zone that most losses have been left where they fell.

"Sales no good," Ali Muzzit announced. "We love to make good business but not enough customers. When customers do come they only want to take pictures, and they knackered. They no want kebabs, and no really wanna see papers. Shop at Base Camp doing good business, but summit one, bad investment."

Everest summit kebab shop worker Izzit Muslam, who has been laid off, told us:

"It's sad, but cutting kebab and sorting papers up there is too hard. Altitude sickness and breath shortage no good. Getting charcoal grill burning in rarified atmosphere is really big nightmare. Then no customers. Plus getting picture on portable TV is bloody nightmare up there. Not to mention no sexy English girls hanging around van all the time. No good. Far as I concerned, good bladdy riddance. Shit job innit."


Keep taking the medication...