After a long and, its got to be said, wine sodden flight to the US I woke up just as the plane came to a standstill at the stand. I stood up and got my bag from the overhead bin only to turn around to find the lady (60yrs +) who had been sitting next to me throughout the journey staring at my crotch with a look of open-mouthed horror. Looking down I realised that the outline of a rather magnificent throbber could clearly be seen through my trousers. The lady began spluttering and coughing and in an effort to save her further embarrassment I looked at her with my most disapproving stare and harrumphed in a Daily Telegraph stylee, "for God's sake Madam. It won't bite!" Problem is, I can't help thinking I could have done better on the witticism front. Anyone else been in a similar situation were the brain couldn't spark quickly enough to provide an Oscar Wilde response?