Ever used your sprog as bait?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Boozy, Aug 11, 2011.

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  1. I was pottering along at work yesterday on autopilot ignoring most people as just blurs in my peripheral.

    Then *BAM!* ...before me stood the most attractive man on the planet. And for added cute factor there was a small blonde baby draped over his shoulder. Banter about babysitting ensued and I suddenly realised that whether he was single or not the guy had me hook line and sinker as a DILF.

    Looked a bit like this ... aaaa1.png

    Now, this guy comes in every week. Yet hot or not every week I've ignored him as just "a bloke" - It took the little bundle of cuteness to make me sit up and take notice/get us chatting.

    The bloke probably didn't know he was doing it or intend to but it struck me that men can use kids to effectively lure women into their traps!

    Have you ever used your baby to get you chatting to women? What's been your most successful or funniest unsuccessful case?

    I've never noticed a guy with big lumps of kids because he has a kid, so at what age does the child become not cute enough for pulling purposes?
  2. Does luring women into the darkened basement with the terrified cries of a baby count?
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  3. Not for luring women... but I've snagged a polar bear by sending some kids into its stamping grounds.
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  5. HHH

    HHH LE

    I used my two Daughters as bait, but all they did was complain of the cold water !!
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  6. Often. The first time was by accident, I was looking after a friends little princess while she was in the dentist. I took the little 3 year old to the park across the road from the dentist and I got chatted up by a very passable young lady. It took me a while to twig on what was happening but I got a date and eventually a shag.
    I volunteered to take the child to the park fairly often after that with a far higher success rate than trying to trap off in bars and night clubs.

  7. Your ovulating dear. Don't worry, it will pass.
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  8. I use my brother's kids for this all the time. Women are helpless before a man exhibiting fathering skills, the only thing better is discovering I'm not actually the father. Boom!
  9. On the contrary, I had the feeling I was invisible to women when carrying Mini Flaggie around -- they just made a beeline for the little bundle of cuteness, with nary a thought for the gorgeous manly hunk she was attached to.

    Incredible, but true.
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  10. Plenty of times. Putting some hard work in at the gym, then combine that with taking the sprog swimming at the local pool thats packed with lifeguard totty. Guaranteed shag.
  11. Now speaking as an ugly fat man with no hair, my 3 year old, (Blonde haired, blue eyed) has all the nurses who come to pack my rancid guts falling over themselves to visit my house. While I lie with a massive hole in my gut, these NHS Angels pull Fireman Sam books, figures and DVD's out their bags for the little man and end up cooing over him while I end up packing my cavern with Aquacel myself. Good looking little bugger that he is.
  12. My mate Fletch had it right, he was with 1 Assault Group at Poole and had a baby with a local within a year of him tipping up, quite a fiery relationship but he ended up with a loosely agreed custody affair which saw him trooping round Poole with a pram some weekends, his trick was to give it a feed then just sit cuddling and playing with it, he developed his knack for pulling birds who went all gooey but adopting a hurt look when they asked after the Mother by saying she was sadly lost in childbirth, cunt was dripping in it for months..

    I'm looking forward to taking my nipper to the pool every day, being not of the fat cunt variety and cheeky of grin I should do alright I think..
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  13. I haven't intentionally used my kids as bait, but I have stumbled into it and tried to capitilise on it.

    The best is when out shopping with the wife & kids (twin boys, aged 18months, blonde haired, big blue eyes, & cute as hell. Well I think so).
    Anyway, eventually I've had enough of wandering around shops, manouvering the double buggy around racks of clothes, as the wife ums & ahs over this seasons must have rip offs. So I decide to stay outside the shops whilst she goes in browsing.
    To keep the kids from getting bored and crying, I start pushing them back & forth down the street, pulling the pram back on its back wheels and going quickly pretending the kids are in the Millenium Falcon (yes I'm a bit of a Star Wars geek). The boys love this, giggling away as they are. Well in my exuberence I nearly push the pram into a very attractive young lady in her mid to late twenties who was coming out of one of the shops.

    After apologising, we start talking and it's pretty obvious it's the kids that have drawn her in like a tractor beam from the Death Star ("That's no moon. It's a space station"). I notice her clock her my wedding ring (the worlds smallest handcuff) and she says "Their mother must be so proud of them".
    "Yes, she would." I reply in a slightly sad voice.
    "Oh is she no longer around?" she asks, slightly too hopefully I noticed.
    "No, she's no longer with us." I reply wistfully, and to be honest truthfully. Well she's not with us, is she? She's inside shopping.
    "Oh I'm so sorry." Get in there, this could lead to me at least getting her number. And who knows what then.
    "Not as sorry as he will be when we get home!" thunders my Dark Lord who has materialised behind me.
    Cue the dawn of realisation appearing over the hot totties face, as she beats a retreat in the face of overwhelming odds from my Master. And me being in the dog house for a week or so, my plea's of "I was only joking, love" falling on deaf ears.
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  14. Aye, they're cute your two, thankfully look nothing like their dad.
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  15. Thank fuck!